It's Not Business, It's Personal: The 9 Relationship Principles That Power Your Career [Paperback]

Ronna Lichtenberg (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 23, 2002

This is the essential guide to take your work life to new heights of success, effectiveness, and fulfillment. Drawing on hundreds of interviews with successful people, this is a practical and inspirational look at the new rules of business: how to forge the relationships that will get you your next job, your next career, or your next loyal client.

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Raising office politics to a new high, Lichtenberg uses her book's title to turn upside down a phrase often offered as a balm to losers in workplace confrontations. She is the author of Work Would Be Great If It Weren't for the People: Ronna and Her Evil Twin's Guide to Making Office Politics Work for You (1998). Now she claims to have uncovered nine principles for getting ahead after interviewing hundreds of business leaders and conducting in-depth interviews with 75 of them. The nine maxims are a sometimes contradictory mix of advice that counsels us to improve the quality of our business relationships while at the same time choosing relationships based on the benefit we can derive from them. For instance: "Be fluent in both pink and blue" (number 3); "Don't waste time on the wrong people" (number 6); and "Observe the rules of the role" (number 2). While some of her tips sound harsh in the abstract, Lichtenberg successfully uses humor and practical, realistic examples to blunt their edge. David Rouse
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"Lichtenberg brings the kind of bold-but-not-bitter honesty that makes you want to shake her hand." -- CNN.com

"Lichtenberg successfully uses humor and practical, realistic examples." -- Booklist

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion (January 23, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0786885130
• ISBN-13: 978-0786885138
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,101,304 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Lessons of Business Relationships from the Successful, December 23, 2000

By 

Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 109,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: It's Not Business, It's Personal (Hardcover)

Many business authors speak from the perpective of their own experience in assessing human relationships. This excellent book expands that perspective to include the observations of many business, artistic, and athletic leaders into a series of nine principles.

Many of us learn that we shouldn't take things personally, it's just business. Ms. Lichtenberg takes the opposite approach, that all business progress begins with sound business relationships.

You might start thinking about this book by considering what makes anyone want to do business with anyone else. Whether the customer is looking for a low price, advanced technology, or smooth solutions, trust is at the bottom of the decision. Those who ignore or harm relationships are either not establishing or are undermining existing trust. Without that trust, progress will be minor. The book opens with a series of excellent questions that many have probably asked themselves about why they are not making more progress in their careers and daily work.

Research has consistently shown that those with the most successful careers are those who are best at working with others. This book describes the basic rules of how to improve your performance in this dimension with those you seek to serve.

Let me paraphrase the nine principles as expressed in the book to make them easier for you to understand:

(1) work on improving your business relationships with those who buy and "influence your future livelihood" as your top priority

(2) follow the golden rule in pursuing those relationships (do unto others as you would have them do unto you)

(3) be able to operate in relationships in the manner that the other person is most comfortable with (especially if they are of the opposite sex)

(4) establish strong, reciprocal relationships with people outside your organization who can be good sounding boards for you

(5) develop relationships with people of many different kinds of backgrounds to broaden your perspective

(6) avoid people who are "using" you rather than being reciprocal

(7) be systematic about establishing and deepening relationships by using an on-going process

(8) stick with relationships long enough for them to develop and become fruitful for all involved

(9) be strictly ethical and considerate in looking out for the other person in your relationships, rather than trying to "use" the relationship to further your own interests at the expense of the other person or organization.

The author is at some pains to differentiate this approach from networking, where you develop lots of contacts that usually fail to develop further. A good related book that will help you appreciate that point is Networlding, which I also recommend that you read.

Each principle is well developed with numerous examples of "bad" and "good" examples. There are also great quotes sprinkled through each section as sidebars from the interviews done with successful people. Most of the principles have lists of rules to follow, each supported with their own examples, as well.

The only thing I didn't like about the book was the choice of metaphors. In most cases, the metaphors were to traffic laws, investing in stocks, or cutting deals. Those metaphors were off message from the point about establishing mutually consistent and mutually beneficial relationships.

It also wasn't clear to me whether this advice was being suggested because "it was good for me" or because "it's the right thing to do." In a lot of cases, I wondered if people reading this book might not end up feeling that those who could not help their careers did not deserve the same respect and care. As a result, some people will take this on in a manipulative way . . . although I don't think Ms. Lichtenberg or those she cites view it that way.

After you have finished enjoying the book, I suggest that you think about your family relationships in this context. Many people are "users" with their families because they can get away with it. That's not good for anyone. How can you improve on the trust and the mutual sense of joy in those relationships as well?

Remember, it's about the other person . . . first!

13 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars IS ANYBODY OUT THERE LISTENING?, December 22, 2000

By 

Dorothy Weiss (ORLANDO, FLORIDA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: It's Not Business, It's Personal (Hardcover)

Will there be a "grab-bag" gift-giving opportunity at your office Christmas party this year? If so give this book to your boss or better yet to your CEO. If not, find another creative way to get this book into their hands. In it, a select group of successful business people shared how they build and maintain relationships in their careers. For example, --- Don't waste time on the wrong people; don't deal with anyone who mistreats his secretary; and steer clear of those whose assistants seem intimidated. Why? Because it indicates that the people below them are being sent a clear signal that they can't open up, or talk freely for fear of reprisals ---- ergo-- those highly paid corporate presumed "movers and shakers"- will never know what's really going on in their respective organizations. The key management tip offered is- get to know people outside your job. IS ANYBODY OUT THERE LISTENING? "It's Not Business, It's Personal", is a timely guide for cultivating business relationships with successful results. It is the rebuttal to the trend of "negotiating contracts with golden parachute clauses", and fermenting high-wire tension in the workplace.

5 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Zero value add, July 18, 2003

By 

John Frieitz - See all my reviews

This review is from: It's Not Business, It's Personal: The 9 Relationship Principles That Power Your Career (Paperback)

I personally make a living in the management consulting space. At first appearances, this book looked like it would provide me with some new insight or a least one new technique.

Sadly, all this book is able to do is to take common place events in corporate America and create an analogy for them. In fact, the analogies go to the truly ridiculous to fill space towards the end of the book.

My suggestion for anyone who is interested in real knowledge, avoid this material. It is clear that there is nothing to offer here.

Better Luck Elsewhere,
Freitz