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It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships Hardcover – August 10, 2010


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It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships + How to Win Friends & Influence People + The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Price for all three: $37.77

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Business; 1 edition (August 10, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307589137
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307589132
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #383,479 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Marshall Goldsmith Reviews It's Not Just Who You Know

Marshall Goldsmith is a world-renowned executive coach and author of the New York Times bestsellers, MOJO and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Read his review of It’s Not Just Who You Know:

To be successful today, leaders need more than an impressive title and superficial "friends" in high places. They need to be able to do some basic things--build partnerships, share leadership, and develop and empower people–-to name just a critical few. The challenge is that none of these are possible if people don’t trust or believe in their leaders. That’s where this new book, It’s Not Just Who You Know, fills an important gap in leadership education. In it, Tommy Spaulding hits on the important issue of building and sustaining relationships–-real relationships, authentic relationships as opposed to those less genuine, selfish relationships that do not build morale in the organization or trust between people. Tommy’s is a great book because he doesn’t just tell you that relationships are important, he tells you why, and he tells you how to practice building them. If you pick up one book today, let it be this one. You’ll be glad you did!


Review

“a valuable, reader-friendly guidebook for both business and personal living”
—Fort Worth Star-Telegram

"Tommy masterfully illustrates case by case, person by person, that we're all in this together."
--Woody Johnson, owner of the New York Jets

More About the Author

Tommy Spaulding is president of the Spaulding Companies LLC (www.SpauldingCompanies.com), a national leadership development, consulting, coaching, and speaking organization. Spaulding rose to become the youngest president and CEO of the world-renowned leadership organization, Up with People (2005-2008). In 2000, Tommy Spaulding founded Leader's Challenge, which grew to become the largest high school civic and leadership program in the state of Colorado. He is also the founder & president of the Spaulding Leadership Institute (www.SpauldingLeadershipInstitute.org), a non-profit leadership development organization which runs National Leadership Academy, a national high school summer leadership academy, as well as Kid's Challenge, Global Challenge and Colorado Close-Up.
Previously, Spaulding was the Business Partner Sales Manager at IBM/Lotus Development and a member of the Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) program.
Spaulding received a BA in Political Science from East Carolina University (1992); an MBA from Bond University in Australia (1998), where he was a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar; and an MA in Non-Profit Management from Regis University (2005), where he was a Colorado Trust Fellow. In 2007, Spaulding received an Honorary PhD in Humanities from the Art Institute of Colorado. In 2002, he received the Denver Business Journal's "Forty under 40 Award."
In 2006, Spaulding was awarded East Carolina University's "Outstanding Alumni Award," the highest distinction awarded to an alumnus of the university. Spaulding is the Chairman of East Carolina University's External Leadership Advisory Board and is the university's first "Leader in Residence."
A world-renowned speaker on leadership, Spaulding has spoken to hundreds of organizations, schools, and corporations around the globe. His inspiring book about how to create relationships that make a difference, It's Not Just Who You Know, will be published by Random House in August, 2010. He and his family reside in the Denver metropolitan area.
To learn more or to contact Tommy Spaulding, visit www.TommySpaulding.com.

Customer Reviews

I put this book on my Kindle, and will read it over and over.
Amazon Customer
This book examines the power of genuine relationships and the positive impact they have on your professional and personal life.
CausePlanet
I still think this is a very important section because it outlines how easy it was to understand the message of the book.
Jameson Blake

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Marie Tumolo on October 18, 2010
Format: Hardcover
A better title might be "Nice Guys Don't Finish Last."

In this very enjoyable, feel-good read, Spaulding describes how being a nice guy - interested in others, listening with respect to people, helping out others, etc. - has given him a great life. His book is part memoir, part inspiring story and part justification for building deeper and more meaningful professional relationships.

Other reviewers (advocates, maybe?) have described the book well so I won't. Here's what they didn't say but you should know:

The book is more high level than how-to. The suggestions for ways anyone can take relationships to level five - the penthouse - are based on his experiences and personality. They worked well for him but might not fit too many others.

This guy takes extroversion to new levels - it's extroversion on steroids. He says anyone can learn to do what he does but just reading about his activities made me want to spend more time alone. And I score above average on extroversion!

While his stories of how relationships changed his life were very moving and convincing, he focuses only on the positive relationships. I would have benefited more from hearing how he dealt with what he calls cancer in relationships - jealousy, selfishness and insecurities - as well as people who are very critical or don't share your values.

Maybe that will be Volume 2.
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59 of 79 people found the following review helpful By Carl Hanger on October 5, 2010
Format: Hardcover
All 17 reviews here are very similar in style and content. They don't so much review the book as promote it very energetically. One gets the sense that they were prepared as part of a marketing program. The reviews often mention highlights of the book. That looks like "teasers" to me. They also include many exhortations to buy the book - the old marketing "call to action" staple. And an unusually high percentage of readers found the reviews helpful. Hmmm...

I have extracted below a list of some phrases taken from the headers, first and last sentences only, at least one from each review. Note the excessive use of exclamation marks, and the extensive use of power words generally, and emotional ones especially. Use this list from these reviews for your own marketing - it's a good one: inspire, success, meaning, purpose, relationship, children, leader, community, heart, aspire, incredible, grateful, wonderful, genuine, power, positive, love, enjoy, invest, impact, excellent. They recur frequently in various forms and contexts - classic marketing.

Ok, so here's my review of the book:

Spaulding uses his own life experiences to describe the importance of relationships, and then elaborates on how you should apply them in your life. The book follows the classic motivational/self-help writer/speaker formula: catchy phrases, personalization to make advice come alive, loads of emotive power words, lots of promises of transformation, and the obligatory formula of the ilk "common-sense plus everyday-thing equals dramatic-effect."

The sheer number of players and the financial success of inspirational/motivational writer/speakers proves that there is a market for this style, so I must assume that many people love it and must be suitably inspired.
Read more ›
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7 of 10 people found the following review helpful By zadig on January 30, 2011
Format: Hardcover
First, the book was ghostwritten(see the acknowledgement page).
Second, the author is a middle class white kid from NY. He claims to have been diagnosed with dyslexia in his adulthood. This with both parents, grandparents, and all of his uncles being school teachers. No one noticed? Is this an example of an author needing a "hurdle" to overcome and since it is impossible to prove that someone ISN'T dyslexic he chose this?
The writing uses three words where one would suffice. The message is good, and says that you should find people who can help you, and befriend them. By good, I mean the opposite of the Christian ethic.
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE is at least honest about it's intentions, so I recommend that one instead of this.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Matthew L. Mawby on February 26, 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
It started with seeing Thomas speak at a local lunch summit. How refreshing to read something that the author has a desire to have impact and influence - with NO motive. Loved it....
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Detective reader on January 21, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
The ego is tough to get through--maybe deserved but does he have to spread it on so thick? There are nuggets there, it is just hard to glean it out.
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By Jack Korpob on June 16, 2014
Format: Hardcover
I won this book from the 12 Books Group and overall, really liked May's selection. I felt it was easy to ready and had a good overall message.

I think the biggest takeaway is the chart of the Five Floors of Relationships. The book goes into much detail about each of the relationships in the chart and Tommy Spaulding does a good job of filling in the pages with personal stories of these kinds of relationships and how it has led him to success in his own life. I felt the stories were pretty good, but I did feel at some points that the relationships he had were a lot by chance for him and that most people don't get so lucky. But, I think the overall takeaway is great.

I enjoyed the "relationship shifter" points at the end of the several chapters/sections.

I give this book 4 stars because I really thing this book or at least the concepts are really great. I think relationships take you a long way and no opportunity to develop meaningful relationships with people should be missed. But, I felt like the last third of the book suffered from repetitiveness and I think could have been shortened. I felt the book dragged a bit towards the end and the stories weren't as strong anymore. But, that's just my opinion, and either way, I felt like the overall book was well written and really flowed well.

I definitely will refer to these different floors of relationships in my work and leadership roles!
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