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It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships Hardcover – August 10, 2010
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To be successful today, leaders need more than an impressive title and superficial "friends" in high places. They need to be able to do some basic things--build partnerships, share leadership, and develop and empower people–-to name just a critical few. The challenge is that none of these are possible if people don’t trust or believe in their leaders. That’s where this new book, It’s Not Just Who You Know, fills an important gap in leadership education. In it, Tommy Spaulding hits on the important issue of building and sustaining relationships–-real relationships, authentic relationships as opposed to those less genuine, selfish relationships that do not build morale in the organization or trust between people. Tommy’s is a great book because he doesn’t just tell you that relationships are important, he tells you why, and he tells you how to practice building them. If you pick up one book today, let it be this one. You’ll be glad you did!
—Fort Worth Star-Telegram
"Tommy masterfully illustrates case by case, person by person, that we're all in this together."
--Woody Johnson, owner of the New York Jets
More About the Author
Previously, Spaulding was the Business Partner Sales Manager at IBM/Lotus Development and a member of the Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) program.
Spaulding received a BA in Political Science from East Carolina University (1992); an MBA from Bond University in Australia (1998), where he was a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar; and an MA in Non-Profit Management from Regis University (2005), where he was a Colorado Trust Fellow. In 2007, Spaulding received an Honorary PhD in Humanities from the Art Institute of Colorado. In 2002, he received the Denver Business Journal's "Forty under 40 Award."
In 2006, Spaulding was awarded East Carolina University's "Outstanding Alumni Award," the highest distinction awarded to an alumnus of the university. Spaulding is the Chairman of East Carolina University's External Leadership Advisory Board and is the university's first "Leader in Residence."
A world-renowned speaker on leadership, Spaulding has spoken to hundreds of organizations, schools, and corporations around the globe. His inspiring book about how to create relationships that make a difference, It's Not Just Who You Know, will be published by Random House in August, 2010. He and his family reside in the Denver metropolitan area.
To learn more or to contact Tommy Spaulding, visit www.TommySpaulding.com.
Top Customer Reviews
In this very enjoyable, feel-good read, Spaulding describes how being a nice guy - interested in others, listening with respect to people, helping out others, etc. - has given him a great life. His book is part memoir, part inspiring story and part justification for building deeper and more meaningful professional relationships.
Other reviewers (advocates, maybe?) have described the book well so I won't. Here's what they didn't say but you should know:
The book is more high level than how-to. The suggestions for ways anyone can take relationships to level five - the penthouse - are based on his experiences and personality. They worked well for him but might not fit too many others.
This guy takes extroversion to new levels - it's extroversion on steroids. He says anyone can learn to do what he does but just reading about his activities made me want to spend more time alone. And I score above average on extroversion!
While his stories of how relationships changed his life were very moving and convincing, he focuses only on the positive relationships. I would have benefited more from hearing how he dealt with what he calls cancer in relationships - jealousy, selfishness and insecurities - as well as people who are very critical or don't share your values.
Maybe that will be Volume 2.
I have extracted below a list of some phrases taken from the headers, first and last sentences only, at least one from each review. Note the excessive use of exclamation marks, and the extensive use of power words generally, and emotional ones especially. Use this list from these reviews for your own marketing - it's a good one: inspire, success, meaning, purpose, relationship, children, leader, community, heart, aspire, incredible, grateful, wonderful, genuine, power, positive, love, enjoy, invest, impact, excellent. They recur frequently in various forms and contexts - classic marketing.
Ok, so here's my review of the book:
Spaulding uses his own life experiences to describe the importance of relationships, and then elaborates on how you should apply them in your life. The book follows the classic motivational/self-help writer/speaker formula: catchy phrases, personalization to make advice come alive, loads of emotive power words, lots of promises of transformation, and the obligatory formula of the ilk "common-sense plus everyday-thing equals dramatic-effect."
The sheer number of players and the financial success of inspirational/motivational writer/speakers proves that there is a market for this style, so I must assume that many people love it and must be suitably inspired.Read more ›
Second, the author is a middle class white kid from NY. He claims to have been diagnosed with dyslexia in his adulthood. This with both parents, grandparents, and all of his uncles being school teachers. No one noticed? Is this an example of an author needing a "hurdle" to overcome and since it is impossible to prove that someone ISN'T dyslexic he chose this?
The writing uses three words where one would suffice. The message is good, and says that you should find people who can help you, and befriend them. By good, I mean the opposite of the Christian ethic.
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE is at least honest about it's intentions, so I recommend that one instead of this.
I think the biggest takeaway is the chart of the Five Floors of Relationships. The book goes into much detail about each of the relationships in the chart and Tommy Spaulding does a good job of filling in the pages with personal stories of these kinds of relationships and how it has led him to success in his own life. I felt the stories were pretty good, but I did feel at some points that the relationships he had were a lot by chance for him and that most people don't get so lucky. But, I think the overall takeaway is great.
I enjoyed the "relationship shifter" points at the end of the several chapters/sections.
I give this book 4 stars because I really thing this book or at least the concepts are really great. I think relationships take you a long way and no opportunity to develop meaningful relationships with people should be missed. But, I felt like the last third of the book suffered from repetitiveness and I think could have been shortened. I felt the book dragged a bit towards the end and the stories weren't as strong anymore. But, that's just my opinion, and either way, I felt like the overall book was well written and really flowed well.
I definitely will refer to these different floors of relationships in my work and leadership roles!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This book was recommended by my director through work. At 1st I expected another Dale Carnegie spinoff, with all the stories of rubbing shoulders with the founders of our corporate... Read morePublished 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
Love this book! Inspiring, informative, and a book that provoked me into re-evaluating where my relationships are at and why- and how to make them better. Read morePublished 12 months ago by Diane Luebbers
I saw Mr. Spaulding speak in person, which gave away a lot of what he writes about in this book. It's people like him that make me realize how much further as a person I need to... Read morePublished 13 months ago by Yetch
So much wisdom in this book about truly connecting with people and building relationships. This is NOT a book about how many business cards to pass out, how to perfect your... Read morePublished 14 months ago by Michele Jennae
After hearing Tommy Spaulding speak at an industry conference I knew I had to read his book. I was not disappointed. His message is both inspirational and heart warming. Read morePublished 16 months ago by Utility Infielder
The author talks about this book as a modern evolution of Carnegie's classic, "How To Win Friends and Influence People. Read morePublished 20 months ago by Jacob Paulsen
'It's Not Just Who You Know' is more that a tremendous success story of someone who overcame a significant learning disadvantage, dyslexia, and turned it to his advantage, but also... Read morePublished 20 months ago by Jary Welker
To start off I want to thank 12books for giving me this book.
My Official Review!
I don't know how anybody can have an "official review". Read more