47 of 62 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Standard motivational formula / All reviews here look like a marketing program for the book., October 5, 2010
This review is from: It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships (Hardcover)
All 17 reviews here are very similar in style and content. They don't so much review the book as promote it very energetically. One gets the sense that they were prepared as part of a marketing program. The reviews often mention highlights of the book. That looks like "teasers" to me. They also include many exhortations to buy the book - the old marketing "call to action" staple. And an unusually high percentage of readers found the reviews helpful. Hmmm...
I have extracted below a list of some phrases taken from the headers, first and last sentences only, at least one from each review. Note the excessive use of exclamation marks, and the extensive use of power words generally, and emotional ones especially. Use this list from these reviews for your own marketing - it's a good one: inspire, success, meaning, purpose, relationship, children, leader, community, heart, aspire, incredible, grateful, wonderful, genuine, power, positive, love, enjoy, invest, impact, excellent. They recur frequently in various forms and contexts - classic marketing.
Ok, so here's my review of the book:
Spaulding uses his own life experiences to describe the importance of relationships, and then elaborates on how you should apply them in your life. The book follows the classic motivational/self-help writer/speaker formula: catchy phrases, personalization to make advice come alive, loads of emotive power words, lots of promises of transformation, and the obligatory formula of the ilk "common-sense plus everyday-thing equals dramatic-effect."
The sheer number of players and the financial success of inspirational/motivational writer/speakers proves that there is a market for this style, so I must assume that many people love it and must be suitably inspired. If that's you, this book fills out the template really well so you're sure to get your money's worth.
For the rest of us, it's just basic psychology. We all want to be better as people, in relationships, financially, or whatever. So, promise us that. Then, make it really readable and very human, so that we can relate. Inspire us with tales of people overcoming adversity. Gain credibility by telling us how bad it was for you and that if the five simple steps in the book worked for you, imagine what they could do for me? And finally keep it really everyday simple. No analysis, no theories, no academics, no long words, no hypothesis testing. Just personal testimony and lots of really simple power words. Oh, and no hard work required, no discipline, no sacrifice, no setbacks, not much effort at all. The author has been through all that for you. Just follow the elementary formula described in the book, and you will have a powerful and dynamic transformation in your life. (I'm not knocking Spaulding, just describing how the genre works.)
Here my further skepticism. Spaulding mentions that he is dyslexic, which made him embarrassed and appear to be stupid. It is a terrible affliction and I have much sympathy. I realize that it must be very embarrassing and that it most certainly does not mean you're stupid (full credit to him for his pre-writer business success, and for his two Master's degrees - great accomplishments, especially with dyslexia.) But he says this was only diagnosed when he was 40. Really? The diagnosis has been around for a very long time. How was this missed?
It is also apparent from the book that he is a very likable, easy, friendly individual. He is also obviously a born leader and a natural public speaker. All credit to him, and what a blessing to have those talents to offset his learning difficulties. But is the implication that I might be like him if I follow the formula in his book? My cynicism of this genre aside, all he is doing is describing his talents. I too have talents but, even if I described them to you in a highly motivational style, I know you won't become like me.
Thanks to a friend for gifting me this book (one of the exhortations contained therein, btw), and I paid you the respect of reading it, but can I go and get on with Real Life now, please?
Here the extracts mentioned above:
Inspiring & Thought Provoking - Oh my goodness did this book make me think...it is thought provoking and inspiring ... and how you can be a better person and still be successful.
...giving meaning and purpose to what you do.
Relationships are truly measured by more than what you get out of them...
A Must Read for All Ages!! - Tommy Spaulding's, "It's Not Just Who You Know" is an inspiring and insightful look ... share with your children and students as this will help them develop into true Leaders in their communities.
A Warm-Hearted Memoir about the Virtues and Benefits...- If you know someone who aspires to such a role, do the person a favor and share a copy of this book with him or her.
An incredible book; an incredible person; and an incredible message.
so good it earned my first review ever!! - If you are at all on the fence about acquiring a copy of Tommy Spaulding's book, get over the fence! ... I am grateful to have the opportunity to spend time with such a wonderful read!!
Must Read for all - this is the best book I have read in years...READ THIS BOOK. Tommy Spaulding is changing the world -- one relationship at a time.
Tommy is the genuine article, the real deal and you will thank yourself for investing a few hours of your time, reading his book.
A must read and not just for business people!
Examine the power of "netgiving" versus networking - the positive impact they have on your professional and personal life. The unlikely stroke of luck ... You will never look at a chance meeting or formal introduction in the same way after reading this book
I love Tommy's book - Successful relationships are a critical fuel that fulfills people's lives ... create more successful business relationships. Tommy teaches you how.
You will love this book! - This book captures the importance of being authentic ... A business oriented book you will enjoy reading, and gain a great deal from!
This hits it on the button...This is a must read for all and one that will help to make the world a better place. Bravo!
Read and learn from him! - The investment in this book will seem small in comparison to the investment you will make in yourself ... There are so many aha moments from this book that can impact you and more importantly
Excellent Read... A Home Run - This book is great for anyone interested in learning about...success ... This book has so many lessons in it, you might have to read it twice!
A Must Read...Excellent Book...Incredible, Inspirational Challenge - I have read this book and must say that I have been inspired and challenged...This is a must read that I believe will be a classic that is re-read often. I look forward to see the many ways that Tommy Spaulding's message will impact our culture! (This one got a comment saying the review looked fake. The author took the opportunity to promote Spaulding's speaking tour. Hmmmm...)
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
More 'Why' Than 'How', October 18, 2010
This review is from: It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships (Hardcover)
A better title might be "Nice Guys Don't Finish Last."
In this very enjoyable, feel-good read, Spaulding describes how being a nice guy - interested in others, listening with respect to people, helping out others, etc. - has given him a great life. His book is part memoir, part inspiring story and part justification for building deeper and more meaningful professional relationships.
Other reviewers (advocates, maybe?) have described the book well so I won't. Here's what they didn't say but you should know:
The book is more high level than how-to. The suggestions for ways anyone can take relationships to level five - the penthouse - are based on his experiences and personality. They worked well for him but might not fit too many others.
This guy takes extroversion to new levels - it's extroversion on steroids. He says anyone can learn to do what he does but just reading about his activities made me want to spend more time alone. And I score above average on extroversion!
While his stories of how relationships changed his life were very moving and convincing, he focuses only on the positive relationships. I would have benefited more from hearing how he dealt with what he calls cancer in relationships - jealousy, selfishness and insecurities - as well as people who are very critical or don't share your values.
Maybe that will be Volume 2.
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