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It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships Hardcover – August 10, 2010


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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Marshall Goldsmith Reviews It's Not Just Who You Know

Marshall Goldsmith is a world-renowned executive coach and author of the New York Times bestsellers, MOJO and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There. Read his review of It’s Not Just Who You Know:

To be successful today, leaders need more than an impressive title and superficial "friends" in high places. They need to be able to do some basic things--build partnerships, share leadership, and develop and empower people–-to name just a critical few. The challenge is that none of these are possible if people don’t trust or believe in their leaders. That’s where this new book, It’s Not Just Who You Know, fills an important gap in leadership education. In it, Tommy Spaulding hits on the important issue of building and sustaining relationships–-real relationships, authentic relationships as opposed to those less genuine, selfish relationships that do not build morale in the organization or trust between people. Tommy’s is a great book because he doesn’t just tell you that relationships are important, he tells you why, and he tells you how to practice building them. If you pick up one book today, let it be this one. You’ll be glad you did!


Review

“a valuable, reader-friendly guidebook for both business and personal living”
—Fort Worth Star-Telegram

"Tommy masterfully illustrates case by case, person by person, that we're all in this together."
--Woody Johnson, owner of the New York Jets
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Business; 1 edition (August 10, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307589137
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307589132
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #118,321 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Tommy Spaulding is president of the Spaulding Companies LLC (www.SpauldingCompanies.com), a national leadership development, consulting, coaching, and speaking organization. Spaulding rose to become the youngest president and CEO of the world-renowned leadership organization, Up with People (2005-2008). In 2000, Tommy Spaulding founded Leader's Challenge, which grew to become the largest high school civic and leadership program in the state of Colorado. He is also the founder & president of the Spaulding Leadership Institute (www.SpauldingLeadershipInstitute.org), a non-profit leadership development organization which runs National Leadership Academy, a national high school summer leadership academy, as well as Kid's Challenge, Global Challenge and Colorado Close-Up.
Previously, Spaulding was the Business Partner Sales Manager at IBM/Lotus Development and a member of the Japan Exchange and Teaching (JET) program.
Spaulding received a BA in Political Science from East Carolina University (1992); an MBA from Bond University in Australia (1998), where he was a Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar; and an MA in Non-Profit Management from Regis University (2005), where he was a Colorado Trust Fellow. In 2007, Spaulding received an Honorary PhD in Humanities from the Art Institute of Colorado. In 2002, he received the Denver Business Journal's "Forty under 40 Award."
In 2006, Spaulding was awarded East Carolina University's "Outstanding Alumni Award," the highest distinction awarded to an alumnus of the university. Spaulding is the Chairman of East Carolina University's External Leadership Advisory Board and is the university's first "Leader in Residence."
A world-renowned speaker on leadership, Spaulding has spoken to hundreds of organizations, schools, and corporations around the globe. His inspiring book about how to create relationships that make a difference, It's Not Just Who You Know, will be published by Random House in August, 2010. He and his family reside in the Denver metropolitan area.
To learn more or to contact Tommy Spaulding, visit www.TommySpaulding.com.

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Marie Tumolo on October 18, 2010
Format: Hardcover
A better title might be "Nice Guys Don't Finish Last."

In this very enjoyable, feel-good read, Spaulding describes how being a nice guy - interested in others, listening with respect to people, helping out others, etc. - has given him a great life. His book is part memoir, part inspiring story and part justification for building deeper and more meaningful professional relationships.

Other reviewers (advocates, maybe?) have described the book well so I won't. Here's what they didn't say but you should know:

The book is more high level than how-to. The suggestions for ways anyone can take relationships to level five - the penthouse - are based on his experiences and personality. They worked well for him but might not fit too many others.

This guy takes extroversion to new levels - it's extroversion on steroids. He says anyone can learn to do what he does but just reading about his activities made me want to spend more time alone. And I score above average on extroversion!

While his stories of how relationships changed his life were very moving and convincing, he focuses only on the positive relationships. I would have benefited more from hearing how he dealt with what he calls cancer in relationships - jealousy, selfishness and insecurities - as well as people who are very critical or don't share your values.

Maybe that will be Volume 2.
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63 of 83 people found the following review helpful By Carl Hanger on October 5, 2010
Format: Hardcover
All 17 reviews here are very similar in style and content. They don't so much review the book as promote it very energetically. One gets the sense that they were prepared as part of a marketing program. The reviews often mention highlights of the book. That looks like "teasers" to me. They also include many exhortations to buy the book - the old marketing "call to action" staple. And an unusually high percentage of readers found the reviews helpful. Hmmm...

I have extracted below a list of some phrases taken from the headers, first and last sentences only, at least one from each review. Note the excessive use of exclamation marks, and the extensive use of power words generally, and emotional ones especially. Use this list from these reviews for your own marketing - it's a good one: inspire, success, meaning, purpose, relationship, children, leader, community, heart, aspire, incredible, grateful, wonderful, genuine, power, positive, love, enjoy, invest, impact, excellent. They recur frequently in various forms and contexts - classic marketing.

Ok, so here's my review of the book:

Spaulding uses his own life experiences to describe the importance of relationships, and then elaborates on how you should apply them in your life. The book follows the classic motivational/self-help writer/speaker formula: catchy phrases, personalization to make advice come alive, loads of emotive power words, lots of promises of transformation, and the obligatory formula of the ilk "common-sense plus everyday-thing equals dramatic-effect."

The sheer number of players and the financial success of inspirational/motivational writer/speakers proves that there is a market for this style, so I must assume that many people love it and must be suitably inspired.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful By zadig on January 30, 2011
Format: Hardcover
First, the book was ghostwritten(see the acknowledgement page).
Second, the author is a middle class white kid from NY. He claims to have been diagnosed with dyslexia in his adulthood. This with both parents, grandparents, and all of his uncles being school teachers. No one noticed? Is this an example of an author needing a "hurdle" to overcome and since it is impossible to prove that someone ISN'T dyslexic he chose this?
The writing uses three words where one would suffice. The message is good, and says that you should find people who can help you, and befriend them. By good, I mean the opposite of the Christian ethic.
HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE is at least honest about it's intentions, so I recommend that one instead of this.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Detective reader on January 21, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
The ego is tough to get through--maybe deserved but does he have to spread it on so thick? There are nuggets there, it is just hard to glean it out.
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Format: Kindle Edition
To start off I want to thank 12books for giving me this book.
My Official Review!

I don't know how anybody can have an "official review". This is just my opinion of the book by Tommy Spaulding, so you can take that as you wish. I will review this book by giving it a star rating. 5 stars is the max and best. Also I am going to break the ratings down into 3 sections:

Message - Was the overall message good?
Entertainment - Was it entertaining to read or boring?
Ease of reading/understanding - Was I able to move through the book pretty quickly? Was the message easily understood?
After that I will give it an overall rating. This is just the average of the 3 categories.

Message 5 stars

Tommy Spaulding has a great message. It is not just about making relationships to grow you business. It's not just making people like you so you can get something from them. The main point is to create great relationships so that you can move other's lives forward. If you do that, you won't need to worry about getting anything in return. It will happen naturally.

Also this is not just a book on how to meet people and make them like you from talking with you for a minute. This is more about how to take friends you already have and move them into a deeper friendship.

Entertainment Value 4 Stars

Tommy Spaulding is a great story-teller! The only reason this didn't get a full 5 stars is at the end of the book it started to drag a little for me. It may have not been the storytelling aspect. It could be I was just losing it! The end of the book is necessary to read so by no means should you skip it.

It is about the dangers of relationships. That might be why I didn't enjoy reading it.
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It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships
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