Customer Reviews

It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (and Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships

5 star:		(20)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

All 17 reviews here are very similar in style and content. They don't so much review the book as promote it very energetically. One gets the sense that they were prepared as part of a marketing program. The reviews often mention highlights of the book. That looks like "teasers" to me. They also include many exhortations to buy the book - the old marketing "call to action" staple. And an unusually high percentage of readers found the reviews helpful. Hmmm...

I have extracted below a list of some phrases taken from the headers, first and last sentences only, at least one from each review. Note the excessive use of exclamation marks, and the extensive use of power words generally, and emotional ones especially. Use this list from these reviews for your own marketing - it's a good one: inspire, success, meaning, purpose, relationship, children, leader, community, heart, aspire, incredible, grateful, wonderful, genuine, power, positive, love, enjoy, invest, impact, excellent. They recur frequently in various forms and contexts - classic marketing.

Ok, so here's my review of the book:

Spaulding uses his own life experiences to describe the importance of relationships, and then elaborates on how you should apply them in your life. The book follows the classic motivational/self-help writer/speaker formula: catchy phrases, personalization to make advice come alive, loads of emotive power words, lots of promises of transformation, and the obligatory formula of the ilk "common-sense plus everyday-thing equals dramatic-effect."

The sheer number of players and the financial success of inspirational/motivational writer/speakers proves that there is a market for this style, so I must assume that many people love it and must be suitably inspired. If that's you, this book fills out the template really well so you're sure to get your money's worth.

For the rest of us, it's just basic psychology. We all want to be better as people, in relationships, financially, or whatever. So, promise us that. Then, make it really readable and very human, so that we can relate. Inspire us with tales of people overcoming adversity. Gain credibility by telling us how bad it was for you and that if the five simple steps in the book worked for you, imagine what they could do for me? And finally keep it really everyday simple. No analysis, no theories, no academics, no long words, no hypothesis testing. Just personal testimony and lots of really simple power words. Oh, and no hard work required, no discipline, no sacrifice, no setbacks, not much effort at all. The author has been through all that for you. Just follow the elementary formula described in the book, and you will have a powerful and dynamic transformation in your life. (I'm not knocking Spaulding, just describing how the genre works.)

Here my further skepticism. Spaulding mentions that he is dyslexic, which made him embarrassed and appear to be stupid. It is a terrible affliction and I have much sympathy. I realize that it must be very embarrassing and that it most certainly does not mean you're stupid (full credit to him for his pre-writer business success, and for his two Master's degrees - great accomplishments, especially with dyslexia.) But he says this was only diagnosed when he was 40. Really? The diagnosis has been around for a very long time. How was this missed?

It is also apparent from the book that he is a very likable, easy, friendly individual. He is also obviously a born leader and a natural public speaker. All credit to him, and what a blessing to have those talents to offset his learning difficulties. But is the implication that I might be like him if I follow the formula in his book? My cynicism of this genre aside, all he is doing is describing his talents. I too have talents but, even if I described them to you in a highly motivational style, I know you won't become like me.

Thanks to a friend for gifting me this book (one of the exhortations contained therein, btw), and I paid you the respect of reading it, but can I go and get on with Real Life now, please?



Here the extracts mentioned above:

Inspiring & Thought Provoking - Oh my goodness did this book make me think...it is thought provoking and inspiring ... and how you can be a better person and still be successful.
...giving meaning and purpose to what you do.
Relationships are truly measured by more than what you get out of them...
A Must Read for All Ages!! - Tommy Spaulding's, "It's Not Just Who You Know" is an inspiring and insightful look ... share with your children and students as this will help them develop into true Leaders in their communities.
A Warm-Hearted Memoir about the Virtues and Benefits...- If you know someone who aspires to such a role, do the person a favor and share a copy of this book with him or her.
An incredible book; an incredible person; and an incredible message.
so good it earned my first review ever!! - If you are at all on the fence about acquiring a copy of Tommy Spaulding's book, get over the fence! ... I am grateful to have the opportunity to spend time with such a wonderful read!!
Must Read for all - this is the best book I have read in years...READ THIS BOOK. Tommy Spaulding is changing the world -- one relationship at a time.
Tommy is the genuine article, the real deal and you will thank yourself for investing a few hours of your time, reading his book.
A must read and not just for business people!

Examine the power of "netgiving" versus networking - the positive impact they have on your professional and personal life. The unlikely stroke of luck ... You will never look at a chance meeting or formal introduction in the same way after reading this book
I love Tommy's book - Successful relationships are a critical fuel that fulfills people's lives ... create more successful business relationships. Tommy teaches you how.
You will love this book! - This book captures the importance of being authentic ... A business oriented book you will enjoy reading, and gain a great deal from!
This hits it on the button...This is a must read for all and one that will help to make the world a better place. Bravo!
Read and learn from him! - The investment in this book will seem small in comparison to the investment you will make in yourself ... There are so many aha moments from this book that can impact you and more importantly
Excellent Read... A Home Run - This book is great for anyone interested in learning about...success ... This book has so many lessons in it, you might have to read it twice!
A Must Read...Excellent Book...Incredible, Inspirational Challenge - I have read this book and must say that I have been inspired and challenged...This is a must read that I believe will be a classic that is re-read often. I look forward to see the many ways that Tommy Spaulding's message will impact our culture! (This one got a comment saying the review looked fake. The author took the opportunity to promote Spaulding's speaking tour. Hmmmm...)

A better title might be "Nice Guys Don't Finish Last."

In this very enjoyable, feel-good read, Spaulding describes how being a nice guy - interested in others, listening with respect to people, helping out others, etc. - has given him a great life. His book is part memoir, part inspiring story and part justification for building deeper and more meaningful professional relationships.

Other reviewers (advocates, maybe?) have described the book well so I won't. Here's what they didn't say but you should know:

The book is more high level than how-to. The suggestions for ways anyone can take relationships to level five - the penthouse - are based on his experiences and personality. They worked well for him but might not fit too many others.

This guy takes extroversion to new levels - it's extroversion on steroids. He says anyone can learn to do what he does but just reading about his activities made me want to spend more time alone. And I score above average on extroversion!

While his stories of how relationships changed his life were very moving and convincing, he focuses only on the positive relationships. I would have benefited more from hearing how he dealt with what he calls cancer in relationships - jealousy, selfishness and insecurities - as well as people who are very critical or don't share your values.

Maybe that will be Volume 2.

I'm on my 3rd reading of this book. There are so many lessons I'm learning. I'm so inspired to follow through with volunteering that I've been putting off....despite how much I love to do volunteer work. It's just a matter of searching for the right fit to focus my drive...if you're searching too....I recommend giving this book a try, too.

"Its Not Just Who You Know" blew me away. I bought the book thinking I would learn how to foster deeper relationships with my clients, and ended up on a heart warming and inspirational journey, learning from Mr. Spaulding's life lessons. The book made me re-think my relationships with my customers, and everyone else in my life, and has helped me re-focus my energy on how I can help others. I highly recommend this enjoyable read.

I've only listened to the first two audio discs, liked the book, but upon reading these Amazon reviews, my opinion has changed. Though an inspirational tale, the author's handicap apparently did help him to focus on and develop certain goals, a process called sublimation in psychology, alike how those blind (e.g. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles) become great musicians. So what works for him may not work well for others. I recall what a book on religion once said of Christ and the Good Samaritan story. The problem is that there isn't enough time to do all the good things one can do. The author doesn't really address this issue.

And I like Marie's 4 star rating in which she describes how more explanations on conflict management would have helped. It doesn't help that the author apparently is a professional speaker on leadership, and doesn't address these type of leadership issues.

A great inspirational book in the first 2 audio discs, but I haven't read anything yet on how to handle the tougher parts of building great relationships.

The ego is tough to get through--maybe deserved but does he have to spread it on so thick? There are nuggets there, it is just hard to glean it out.

This book examines the power of genuine relationships and the positive impact they have on your professional and personal life. The unlikely stroke of luck in Tommy Spaulding's life was his struggle with dyslexia, which compelled the author to focus on the world around him in terms of how he connected with mentors, friends, colleagues, donors and audiences relationally. Spaulding's efforts to compensate for his challenge with the written word opened up a profound understanding of what it means to build relationships that transform your life and work goals into reality.

Nonprofit and corporate leaders who read this book will find they look at the people in their life with a different lens--a lens that sheds new light on how to nurture their professional and personal relationships so they become what Spaulding refers to as "Fifth Floor" relationships. This is not just a book that espouses the merits of good networking. In fact, it discourages it. Instead, Spaulding provides real examples and strategies for elevating your current relationships and how to launch new ones in the spirit of giving rather than taking. Additionally,Spaulding uses a helpful first through fifth floor analogy for evaluating your relationships, and provides readers with nine essential traits for committing to a new way of genuinely connecting with the people around them. You will never look at a chance meeting or formal introduction in the same way after reading this book.

Knowing the right people will get you places. This opinion has more or less been accepted as fact and there is ample evidence to back it up. Few would argue that knowing people is important to success and some people take this idea to extremes, with networks of friends and associates that scan far and wide.

However, simply knowing people, while certainly a good start, may not be good enough. Building positive relationships with the people you know and elevating your relationship to something greater is what matters and this idea forms the basis of this book. The author of this book is a firm believer in the power of positive relationships and he wants to help you form better, more intimate relationships with those around you. Everyone- your friends, your family, your associates, your neighbors, even the guy at the convenience store you see every day on the way to work- can join the ranks of your inner circle of friends and develop into what the book refers to as a fifth- floor relationship. These relationships are much more than knowing someone- they involve the complete giving of ones' self in full support of another person's needs.

It's Not Just Who You Know is a book that can transform businesses and organizations and its communication model could be adopted by many businesses seeking ways to strengthen communication and understanding among employees and stakeholders. Based on its title alone, many will approach this book with the understanding that it is intended strictly for business. It can certainly help strengthen business bonds, but this book is much more than that. The more you read, the more you realize that this book and the wisdom within can be used for much more than landing a job or obtaining a promotion. What this book suggests and promotes applies to any type of relationship and its advice, if followed closely, can improve most any personal situation and lead to better understanding of people in general.

Human relationships are important and this is a very good book with much advice to offer on relationship building to help move beyond the NSW (the initial greeting which often includes talk about news, sports, weather) level all the way to the penthouse, fifth- floor level where ones' deepest secrets are shared openly and without fear. Some readers may consider this book and its advice a little too lovey- dovey, but what it advises makes good sense and most anyone could benefit from what it promotes: Fifth- floor relationships and the great feeling that comes from the complete giving of ones' self in support of another's well- being.

It's Not Just Who You Know: Transform Your Life (And Your Organization) by Turning Colleagues and Contacts into Lasting, Genuine Relationships provides a fine new book sharing secrets for creating the kinds of relationships that positively impact career goals. There's lots of books on networking, but this goes beyond the 'who you know' approach to show how building relationships that help others result in win-win situations overall.

I have read this book and must say that I have been inspired and challenged. The style of writing produces the feeling that you are sitting with "Tommy" having a conversation over coffee. I felt as though his life experiences and lessons learned were written in a way that hit home in way that I haven't experienced in years. You will have a hard time putting this book down.

My copy of "It's Not Just Who You Know" is "dog-eared" and "marked up" on nearly every page. I was challenged personally but also have great material to take back to the team that I lead. This is a must read that I believe will be a classic that is re-read often. I look forward to see the many ways that Tommy Spaulding's message will impact our culture!