Ever been confused about friendships with boys? How to handle crushes? How friendly is too friendly? How close is too close? What to do when a guy is being way too friendly? What guys think about all this? What it means to be a "sister, in all purity"? Guy-girl relationships have always been complicated, but perhaps never more so than today. It's (Not That) Complicated is a humorous, hopeful, and deeply thought-provoking new look at guy-girl relationships in our times. Dealing practically with such complications as online interaction, Hollywood expectations, undefined relationships, and unrequited love, the Botkin sisters offer enduring biblical principles that can make it all much simpler.
"How do young men and young women interact with one another when marriage is not in view? Can young men and young women be 'friends'? And how does a young woman guard her heart, preserve her purity, and walk in integrity without treating young men with disdain? In It's (Not That) Complicated, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin address these and other questions with wisdom, grace, transparency, and biblical acuity." - Dr. Voddie Baucham Jr.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent: A must-read for every father, mother, young man, and young lady
March 3, 2012
In this book, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth, the daughters of Geoff and Victoria Botkin, tackle the oft-perceived-as-complicated subject of friendships with boys.
But stop--I'm a guy. That negates everything in this book and so we don't have to read it, right? Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, my greatest fear regarding this book is that it will not be read by very many young men--simply because the book is written by two girls, for girls, and has a girl on the front of the book wearing pink.
As a matter of fact, so much in this book is applicable to us guys. Sure, there are things we don't need to work on (like being feminine, or learning how to submit to a husband, or other female-specific aspects), but--Lord willing--you will have daughters one day!--So maybe you should pay attention to those parts too. However, there many, many pieces of (biblical) wisdom in this book on how to treat the opposite gender that are just not female-specific or able to be applied only by young ladies. I cannot over-emphasize enough the importance of the principles contained in this book. Guys, you can glean a phenomenal amount from these pages. In fact, sprinkled throughout the book are little gray boxes containing text written by a guys on whatever point the Botkins are discussing at the moment. These boxes are very insightful--and accurate.
The Botkins wisely deal with many important issues.--How do proper relationships start? What do you do if you have no brothers (or sisters, if you're a guy)? Should I avoid boys (girls) altogether? What do I do if I have a damaged relationship with a brother (sister)? What kind of an influence do I have on my brothers? How important are family relationships, compared to marital relationships? What can we talk to with guys (girls)? If we dress modestly and aren't loud and showy, won't guys (girls) overlook us because we don't stand out? How do I protect my heart? How should I think of young men's (ladies') polite actions toward me? Can I still be a fun person? What if I'm a shy girl (guy) and have a very hard time interacting with guys (girls)?--And while this book is not explicitly or primarily about courtship or marriage, it is impossible to avoid this topic (as it is a type of guy-girl relationship) and throughout the book they accordingly speak to these issues.
So. What's the verdict? It's (Not That) Complicated is one of the top five best books I've ever read, and every father, mother, daughter, and son needs to read it. It's insightful, Scripturally sound, humorous, delightful, convicting, thought-provoking, and excellent.
Guys, you need to read this book. Forget for a moment that it happens to be written by girls, happens to be written for girls, and happens to have a girl in pink on the front.
Girls, you need to read this book. Even more of the wisdom in this book will apply to you than it does us, obviously--and this book offers some very accurate inside looks at how our minds work.
This will be required reading in my family.
INDECENCY: None.
LANGUAGE: None.
AGE RANGE: Young adult, though I think it may be best gone through together with a parent.
But stop--I'm a guy. That negates everything in this book and so we don't have to read it, right? Nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, my greatest fear regarding this book is that it will not be read by very many young men--simply because the book is written by two girls, for girls, and has a girl on the front of the book wearing pink.
As a matter of fact, so much in this book is applicable to us guys. Sure, there are things we don't need to work on (like being feminine, or learning how to submit to a husband, or other female-specific aspects), but--Lord willing--you will have daughters one day!--So maybe you should pay attention to those parts too. However, there many, many pieces of (biblical) wisdom in this book on how to treat the opposite gender that are just not female-specific or able to be applied only by young ladies. I cannot over-emphasize enough the importance of the principles contained in this book. Guys, you can glean a phenomenal amount from these pages. In fact, sprinkled throughout the book are little gray boxes containing text written by a guys on whatever point the Botkins are discussing at the moment. These boxes are very insightful--and accurate.
The Botkins wisely deal with many important issues.--How do proper relationships start? What do you do if you have no brothers (or sisters, if you're a guy)? Should I avoid boys (girls) altogether? What do I do if I have a damaged relationship with a brother (sister)? What kind of an influence do I have on my brothers? How important are family relationships, compared to marital relationships? What can we talk to with guys (girls)? If we dress modestly and aren't loud and showy, won't guys (girls) overlook us because we don't stand out? How do I protect my heart? How should I think of young men's (ladies') polite actions toward me? Can I still be a fun person? What if I'm a shy girl (guy) and have a very hard time interacting with guys (girls)?--And while this book is not explicitly or primarily about courtship or marriage, it is impossible to avoid this topic (as it is a type of guy-girl relationship) and throughout the book they accordingly speak to these issues.
So. What's the verdict? It's (Not That) Complicated is one of the top five best books I've ever read, and every father, mother, daughter, and son needs to read it. It's insightful, Scripturally sound, humorous, delightful, convicting, thought-provoking, and excellent.
Guys, you need to read this book. Forget for a moment that it happens to be written by girls, happens to be written for girls, and happens to have a girl in pink on the front.
Girls, you need to read this book. Even more of the wisdom in this book will apply to you than it does us, obviously--and this book offers some very accurate inside looks at how our minds work.
This will be required reading in my family.
INDECENCY: None.
LANGUAGE: None.
AGE RANGE: Young adult, though I think it may be best gone through together with a parent.
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
By Brittany
There are many books out there that, in one way or another, address the issue of guy-girl relationships. While some of them have helpful and beneficial information within them, a good portion of them lack a solid, biblical perspective and leave a girl more confused than before. Anna Sofia and Elizabeth have earnestly sought God's Word on this issue standing firmly on what God commands of us. They have not added arbitrary rules of conduct or outward conformity and yet, at the same time, have not relaxed the standards of Christ. This book is not just a good or excellent read, but, a very important book that presents the biblical foundation for changing culture on familial, ecclesiastical, and national levels. It gets to the heart of what all girls are lacking - love... agape love... the kind of love that is patient, kind, not jealous, not self-seeking etc. Without this love, every home, church, and nation will be torn down by the women within them.
While the style is fun, humorous, and perky, the Botkin girls have, at the same time, managed to maintain the significant and convicting message. Many girls will find it very easy to understand, and most likely, get a few good laughs out of it as well. Homeschooled, Christian schooled, and Public schooled girls will benefit greatly from all the hard work that they have put into this book. It might even mark a pivotal paradigm shift in their relationship toward God. Don't be afraid to read it! Get out your debit card and press the "Add to Cart" button:)
While the style is fun, humorous, and perky, the Botkin girls have, at the same time, managed to maintain the significant and convicting message. Many girls will find it very easy to understand, and most likely, get a few good laughs out of it as well. Homeschooled, Christian schooled, and Public schooled girls will benefit greatly from all the hard work that they have put into this book. It might even mark a pivotal paradigm shift in their relationship toward God. Don't be afraid to read it! Get out your debit card and press the "Add to Cart" button:)
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
In their new book: "It's {Not That} Complicated", sisters Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin tactfully address the concept of loving our male friends as true sisters who care more for advancing the kingdom of Heaven than for selfish and immature reasons - such as husband-fishing. They graciously share their Biblical insight on how to relate to the men in our life in a healthy, sane and Biblical way. The insight shared is excellent, well-written and is portrayed in a Biblical perspective with clean humor and many real examples.
Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin offer enduring Biblical principles that help clear all of our confusing emotions, unclear thoughts and questions on boys. If our heart is in the right place, it truly, is not that complicated!
I highly recommend this book to all young women - you won't come away from this book without personal growth! Absolutely excellent.
Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin offer enduring Biblical principles that help clear all of our confusing emotions, unclear thoughts and questions on boys. If our heart is in the right place, it truly, is not that complicated!
I highly recommend this book to all young women - you won't come away from this book without personal growth! Absolutely excellent.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
My Chapter-by-Chapter Breakdown (I loved it)
Recommended for: at least 10, but probably older thru when you get married. Don't let your little girl read it unless she struggles with male relationships, or has a tendency to... Read more
Published 6 days ago by Dr K P Gerstenberg
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book
Using it book study with my daughter, 2 friends, and their moms- love it! Great book- will recommend to others!
Published 1 month ago by S. LIVINGSTON
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great book!
My wife bought this for our daughter, but she is enjoying reading it herself as well. This book is full of down-to-earth common sense advice about interacting with males of all... Read more
Published 4 months ago by M. Polaski
5.0 out of 5 stars
Beyond Helpful
This book was exactly what they advertised with extra added bonuses inside. It helped to delve into the reader and sort things out within her rather than try and delve into a... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Steffanie N
1.0 out of 5 stars
A Warning
I was able to check out two books by the Botkins sisters from our library: "It's (Not That) Complicated..." along with "So Much More. Read more
Published 5 months ago by Maura Ann Rubies
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Botkins Have Done it Again! TEN STARS
I want to preface this review with my qualifications: I am a wife of 15 years to the same man, and mother of 7 GIRLS (some of whom are in their teens), additionally I am a midwife... Read more
Published 5 months ago by V. Stephens
5.0 out of 5 stars
Practical, sound advice
This book has been a blessing to our family. I was not raised with a biblical upbringing and made a lot of mistakes. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Tami Prince
5.0 out of 5 stars
Definitely worth the read!
I was absolutely thrilled with this book! This is the first book of its kind in my opinion. I have never seen another book deal with these specific issues but the authors spoke... Read more
Published 7 months ago by L. Siert
5.0 out of 5 stars
My KID stole it from me!
The other reviewers have pretty much summed up the essence of this book, but I'd like to offer another perspective.
It doesn't get much better than this. Read more
It doesn't get much better than this. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Larry Esposito
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great read!
It would be really good if parents would put this in the hands of their children. It is practical and, if followed, would make life alot easier for youth.
Published 16 months ago by Daisy
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