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It's Not You, It's Me Paperback – January 11, 2011


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Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 8–11—After 6 months and 218 kisses, high school junior Zoë is blindsided when her boyfriend dumps her—he wants to focus on his band, he says, and not have a girlfriend right now. Obviously he's made a big mistake, and Zoë sets out to prove it to him. Her best friends discourage her efforts to win him back (which include stuffing her poetry through his bedroom window, snooping through his email, and flirting with his friends) and tell her she's acting crazy, but she can't help herself. She has been completely wrapped up in Henry since they started dating, to the exclusion of her own friends and activities, and now that he's extricated himself from her life, she has trouble coping with this loss of identity. It's a common story and realistically told. Zoë is believably self-centered, but her friends' lives center on her, too, offering advice and encouragement (and, in the case of one male friend, offering himself as "excellent boyfriend material"). The rushed conclusion shows hope for Zoë as she makes efforts to find the self she jettisoned for Henry. Girls will relate to the teen's heartbreak and healing, though her self-pity and manipulations may irritate more than amuse.—Brandy Danner, Wilmington Memorial Library, MA
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

KERRY COHEN HOFFMANN's young adult novels include The Good Girl and Easy (Simon & Schuster), an ALA-YALSA Quick Pick and finalist for the Oregon Book Award.
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Product Details

  • Age Range: 12 and up
  • Grade Level: 7 and up
  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers; Reprint edition (January 11, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9780375845994
  • ISBN-13: 978-0375845994
  • ASIN: 0375845992
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.6 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,246,088 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Kerry Cohen is the author of seven books, including the bestselling Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity and Seeing Ezra: A Mother's Story of Autism, Unconditional Love, and The Meaning of Normal. Three more books: The anthology Spent: Exposing Women's Complicated Relationship to Shopping; The Truth of Memoir: How to Write about Yourself and Others with Honesty, Emotion, and Integrity; and Girl Trouble: A Memoir are forthcoming. She has appeared on Dr Phil and Good Morning America, and has had her essays featured in The New York Times Modern Love series and The Washington Post. She has a psychotherapy practice and lives with the writer James Bernard Frost and their four children in Portland, Oregon.

Customer Reviews

I bet lots, because this seems to be a popular break up line.
Lauren
Everyone tells her just leave it be, don't do that, don't say that, but she does it anyways without much thought.
Mint910
Except things don't quite go according to plan, especially since Zoë won't heed the advice of her friends.
Brittany Moore

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Mint910 VINE VOICE on June 14, 2009
Format: Hardcover
Like many have said the character of Zoe comes off as a nut, basically sabotaging any chance she has of getting her ex-boyfriend back with her antics. Everyone tells her just leave it be, don't do that, don't say that, but she does it anyways without much thought. Even though she comes off as kind of crazy I feel like it depicts a bit of what any normal girlfriend might go through when she breaks up with the boy that really counts and this can be seen sort of as a cautionary tale. It sheds a bit of light on the ugly truth of breakup and the feelings that people might have (that they definitely should not act on.)

While Zoe was harder to swallow I rather liked the guys in the book. From Henry and his bandmate Niles to Sam, her friend that makes no secret of his crush on Zoe. They all seemed a lot more level-headed and also really seemed to care for Zoe even when she was acting crazy. I also liked Zoe's friends Julia and Shannon they tried to keep her on the right path for as long as they could and when that wasn't working that finally gave in and fed the craziness of Zoe and her plan.

The ending was a little meh but I think it was an appropriate ending for the message that I thought the author was trying to send. I really like how she and some of the characters stress that no matter who you are with, you need to maintain yourself and your own interests instead of losing yourself within someone else. I think that's a very important message that everyone needs to be reminded of from time to time.

Overall an interesting concept with probably a truer to life (but exaggerated) main character than we all want to admit to!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Lauren on February 26, 2010
Format: Hardcover
Raise of hands, how many of you have ever been told "It's not you, it's me" during a break up? I bet lots, because this seems to be a popular break up line. One that's used at the end of Zoe and Henry's budding relationship, a relationship that Zoe thought was going to last forever.

It's Not You, It's Me starts out just when things between Zoe and Henry are going bad. Soon, they are broken up leaving Zoe to go into a serious stage of depression. Zoe is a believable character since she has all the feelings a girl who's been dumped has; sadness, worry, doubt, and wonder. Leaving her to come out in a way that you feel sorry for her. Though, unfortunately, this sorrow turns into semi hatred when Zoe comes up with a plan to get Henry back. I'm sorry but I personally felt that Zoe was WAY too codependent on Henry. It was like that without him she couldn't live because her grades dropped, her friendships suffered, and she went a bit crazy ( correction: Majorly Crazy) . Making it hard to get through this light read. Though, the other main characters made it somewhat better.

The plot kind of went around it one big circle. Since, for most of the book, Zoe was coming up with a way to get Henry back, does plan, plan doesn't work, and then she starts over. Leaving this to lather, rinse, and repeat a bit too much for my liking. Though, don't get me wrong, it was a semi decent book, but it wasn't for me.

Overall, I really don't suggest It's Not You, It's Me to anyone. Though, if you think you'll like it, then go ahead and read it.

Grade: D
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By Tina on June 14, 2009
Format: Hardcover
I am a huge fan of Kerry Hoffmann. I have read her previous books and adored them. I was, therefore, extremely thrilled when I received this one!
It's Not You, It's Me is actually a YA novel where we meet our main character Zoë who is in the midst of a romantic crisis. She has been dating Henry for the last 6 months and every night at exactly 9:00 p.m. they call each other on the telephone and say goodnight to each other. Except this night (day 1), Zoë has been calling and all she gets is voice mail. She immediately gets a sinking, sick feeling in the pit of her stomach telling her that this relationship is over.

Sure enough, the next day, Henry tells her its over 'but hey! let's be friends' (why do guys ALWAYS say this absolutely stupid thing????).

From this moment, we, the readers get to follow, day by day, Zoe's descent into heartbreak and depression where she is unable to accept his decision and tries just about everything to 'get him back'.
From the first page of this novel, I instantly connected with Zoë. Although to some, the fact that Henry was not answering his telephone on that one night would mean nothing, I would have (I actually have) reacted exactly the same as Zoë did - freaked out! Somehow she knew - even if to most people, she just appeared to be panicking over nothing.

What struck me the most about this novel is how single minded and totally misguided Zoe was! No matter what her friends told her or no matter what she knew inside was the right thing to do, she almost self-destructively went ahead and did the opposite. When I read the passage where she actually climbs up a tree in order to throw a poem in Henry's room, I thought 'this girl has lost it' and I felt myselt cringe.
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Format: Hardcover
This was one weird book! The sane part of me thought that Zoe was a complete psycho, but the abnormal side of me found her to be quite charming. In all honesty, I had mixed feelings about most of It's Not You, It's Me.

What I found charming about Zoe was that, she knew what she wanted and would do anything to get it. Zoe gets herself into some really crazy and hilarious situations trying to win back Henry. While Zoe's stalking might have been completing unrealistic, it was pretty darn funny at times! The rest of the time I just found Zoe to be quite annoying. Zoe was a very shallow person and it really bugged me that she wouldn't give Sam a change because he was a "geek."

Sam was the only secondary character that I felt had any real personality. Zoe's two best friends Julia and Shannon were not all that interesting. The novel was very short had it been a little bit longer maybe some of the secondary characters would have had more personality. I would have liked to see more from Julia and Shannon in particular.

The ending left me feeling happy even if it was completely predictable. I was happy to see Zoe use some of her creative energy on something else besides boys.

Overall, It's Not Me, It's You was a quick and (mostly) fun read. I read the novel while sick in bed and think that I probably would have enjoyed it less had I been feeling healthier. It's Not You, It's Me it the perfect book to read when you need to escape for a while.
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