Jemima J: A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans [Unabridged, Audiobook] [Audio Cassette]

Jane Green (Author), Barbara Rosenblat (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 2002

Jemima Jones is overweight. About seven stone overweight. Treated like a slave by her thin and bitchy flatmates, lorded over at the Kilburn Herald by the beautiful Geraldine (less talented, better paid), her only consolation is food. That and a passion for her charming, sexy colleague Ben. Her life needs to change and soon. But can Jemima reinvent herself? And should she?

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Yet another take on the singles scene, and from yet another British writer, this jaunty novel has one slightly new focus--the Internet as a dating device. "Bored, fat and unhappy" Jemima Jones is a hack writer on a small London paper, whose weight precludes both promotion (which she richly deserves, because she's smart) and getting together with the man of her dreams: kind, modest and gorgeous reporter Ben Williams. The Web opens a new world to Jemima, and when she begins an online correspondence with L.A. gym owner Brad, identifying herself as JJ, her friend Geraldine encourages her to send Brad a doctored photo of what she would look like if she were thin. Jemima joins a gym, goes on a diet and even becomes a blonde, preparing to accept Brad's invitation to come to L.A. Lucky JJ: Brad turns out to be a hunk, and the sex is great... but JJ senses that something is wrong. Meanwhile, Ben has become a celebrity "presenter" on British TV, but while the whole country goes gaga over his looks, he too feels that something is missing. By the time several coincidences produce a dreams-come-true ending, readers are fond of plucky Jemima, but somewhat tired out by her adventures. Green's determination to provide texture results in too many scenes that brim with London and L.A. local color, but fail to add verve to the narrative. Outside of Geraldine, who, surprisingly, is both beautiful and a true friend, the other characters tend to be stereotypes: Jemima's roommates, airheads on the make; the predatory female TV producer; the editor who offers Jemima a promotion once she is blonde and svelte. Though the concept is clever and nicely handled, the broad humor lacks true comic brio. (As the online initiated would say: it's not LOL.) Green does, however, capture the nuances and neuroses of the singles scene with a gimlet eye and an uninhibited voice. A bestseller in England, the book should also hook female readers here as they relate to Green's frank comments about body size and social acceptability. (June)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Library Journal

In premise, Green's 1998 novel, narrated by Barbara Rosenblat, is reminiscent of the vastly more popular Bridget Jones's Diary, tracing a similar story of a desperate, overweight, single business associate who is jealous of her roommates' soirees into an exotic, sexually driven nightlife. Here, Jemima Jones uses the Internet to invent a more perfect self as a gateway to fantasy and romance. In Great Britain the book has its fans and may have an appeal as a familiarly stereotypical Cinderella story, but the characters are more pathetic than amusing, and the predictability and whiny tone are too insulting and offensive to be worth listening to. Not recommended.
Joyce Kessel, Villa Maria Coll., Buffalo, NY
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Audio Cassette
• Publisher: Clipper Audio; Unabridged edition (December 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402519451
• ISBN-13: 978-1402519451
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.1 x 2.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (775 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,699,574 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jane Green is a bestselling author of popular novels. She has been featured in People, Newsweek, USA Today, Glamour, and Cosmopolitan. She lives in Connecticut with her family.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Even fantasy needs believability., June 20, 2003

By 

Jen McAllister (Astoria, NY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Jemima J: A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans (Paperback)

Well, it has certainly been established here that this is a "love-it-or-hate-it" kind of book. :)

My own feelings about Jemima J are not warm ones, but as other people here have enumerated, with much eloquence, the same problems that I had with the book (i.e. the condescending and snotty attitude toward the overweight, Jemima's unrealistic weight loss, Green's tendency to tell us that Jemima and Ben are smart and lovable, rather than show why they are smart and lovable), I will not dwell on them overmuch. What I do find distressing, though, are the number of positive reviews that dress down the negative reviewers for demanding too much of Jemima J. These reviews are peppered with phrases such as "It's just a fantasy," "It's just fiction," "This is a beach read, it's not Shakespeare/Milton/Anna Karenina," etc.

I doubt that a single person who picked up Jemima J picked it up because s/he mistook it for Anna Karenina. This is a beach read, it is a sweet, lighthearted, confectionery read, or at least it is meant to be. Jane Green makes no bones about that, nor should she. We all know exactly what kind of story she meant to tell; the question is, did she succeed? If you loved the book, then yes, she did. If you hated it, then no, she didn't. I would hazard a guess that everyone who didn't like Jemima J, myself included, picked it up wanting to like it, wanting to read a fantasy about a goodhearted, underappreciated girl who gets all the good things she deserves in life. I know that I certainly wasn't looking for Milton, or Shakespeare. I was looking for a character I could root for, one who has an adventure and runs into trouble only to come through it a stronger, better person who lives happily ever after. Jemima Jones was not that character for me.

Even though this is a fantasy, there needs to be at least some kernel of believability in the story to make the fantasy work. Again, if you loved this book, if you were caught up in the fantasy, then that's great - it worked. But if the fantasy doesn't work for you, then no amount of admonishments to "lighten up, it's only a book" will make it work. For me, that point came when Jemima loses 100 pounds in less than six months by a combination of starvation dieting and overexercise. Now, everyone's diet-and-exercise experience is different, and what works for one may not work for another. That said, when Green tells us that Jemima is able to switch overnight from overeating to a regime of no breakfast/plain lettuce & tomatoes for lunch/grilled chicken & veg for dinner; that Jemima goes from no physical activity to doubling her new workout regime within a single month; that she suffers no cravings, or lightheadedness, or hunger-induced headaches, or stretch marks from rapid weight loss; that she loses five to six pounds a week for four months; and that, despite this marvelous change in her appearance, she is not thin enough at Ben's farewell party for him to notice that she has lost 40 pounds in two months...well, that stretches the fantasy too far for me.

Imagine that you are reading a story about a young girl who lives in a small town in Idaho. She has always dreamed of living in New York City. You know that she can live the dream if she believes in herself and tries to succeed. You know that one day she decides to go. So far, so good. But if the author then tells you that she drives from Idaho to New York in six hours, with no stops for gasoline, purely because she has the force of will to drive across country in six hours, would you still believe in her?

47 of 55 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Don't waste your time or money!, October 5, 2003

By 

Jennifer (Oklahoma City, OK) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Jemima J: A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans (Paperback)

People that are Jemima J's size do not have the problems that Jane Green described. They can fit through doorways, and sit comfortably in normal chairs without breaking them. I used to be 20 pounds lighter and considerably shorter than Jemima J - so my body would have been at least as big as hers. I never had any of those problems. It's clear that Jane Green does not have experience with being fat - Jemima J would have to be much, much larger to have the physical problems described in the book.

And let's not get into the horrible stereotyping. Fat = pathetic, in Green's eyes. Oh, please. Fat people are capable of having social lives. I was active sexually at the height of my weight. In Green's world, this would mean that I was either allowing men to use me in degrading, humiliating ways because I was desperately seeking approval, or that I was with fat fetishists. This is patently untrue.

Besides the fact that her description of fat people is completely unrealistic, the plot is very weak. The climax? Boring and contrived. Better writing might have made the prejudices easier to take, but a poorly written, insulting novel? Don't waste your time or money.

Fat women, don't waste your time. It will make you feel bad.

Skinny women, don't waste your time. This is not how fat people live, think, or act.

Men, don't waste your time. It insults men too.

If you absolutely have to read this book, please check it out of the library. Don't give her any of your money. Read anything instead.

30 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Unrealistic and shallow, April 13, 2003

By 

C. Matte "dinosmile" (Wilmington, MA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Jemima J: A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans (Paperback)

I liked the premise of this book and had high hopes, but was sorely disappointed. I'm not even sure where to begin on this book. First of all, it's impractical. There is no way someone can lose that much weight so quickly by over-exercising and under eating and remain healthy. The author even alludes to that fact, but the main character practically stops eating with no repercussions whatsoever! Second of all, it's insulting. People who are overweight may or may not have overeating to blame, but the author's comments about how one just needs to make a strong decision to lose weight and the pounds will melt away is ludicrous. More importantly, it perpetuates a ridiculous stereotype that people who are overweight just eat all of the time. It's just not that simple. Third, the author is painfully unsympathetic to her character. There is no reason that the reader should dislike this character - her main flaw is that she's overweight, but she's intelligent, thoughtful, and caring. She has some doormat tendancies, but that's hardly reason for the author to treat her with such negativity.

I didn't mind the premise of the book. I didn't mind the general plotline of the story. But a dash of realism, with a little bit of goodwill towards the main character, would have prevented me from seeing the book as a piece of .... I read the whole thing and hoped for some redemption, but it just wasn't there. I won't loan this one to a friend. I won't give it away. It's just that bad.