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Jesus Cries When You Touch Yourself [Kindle Edition]

Adam McClaran
3.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

Jesus Cries When You Touch Yourself is a comic monologue written in tribute to the late George Carlin on the topic of religious bullshit in America. Influenced by Carlin, Friedrich Nietzsche, Bill Maher, Monty Python, and the writers of South Park, the author uses constant mockery and absurdist humor on a tour of ridiculous beliefs in America. With devastating logic, Jesus, the most beloved character in all of history, is revealed to be the world’s greatest pedophile. After all, if Jesus is God, then everyday he watches billions of children take off their clothes and hundreds of millions of others go poop. Well, the great Poop Inspector would be a pedophile, if only he wasn’t merely our imaginary friend. From an invisible man in the sky that watches millions of people masturbate each day, to Jesus ascending into heaven and becoming an astronaut, to Catholics eating Jesus’ penis every Sunday, Jesus Cries When You Touch Yourself contrasts intense realism with comical religious absurdity in the most ambitious ridicule of religion ever written.


Product Details

  • File Size: 230 KB
  • Print Length: 167 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1453697675
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00452V8LO
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #585,462 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.0 out of 5 stars
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Jesus Cries When You Touch Yourself September 18, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Well, Adam touches all the bases here, and it is well-written for the average reader who is just looking to confirm his or her bias. I agree with AM's take on the ridiculousiosity of religiosity; however, I was hoping for a more highbrow rendition - a la Hitchens or Harris. but beggars can't be choosers, and this book is funnier than hell. Carlin would approve.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Kinda funny May 15, 2013
By Jodi
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
A lot of his humor was just regurgitated atheist humor and he comes across as a little unintelligent, or maybe just not a great writer. It was a short book though so it's worth the read for a quick chuckle or two.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Not so much December 27, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Take strong logical points about religion and inconsistencies and ruin it with constant repetition of the same counterpoint and insults the result is this book. This bookstores not sway the reader to leaving the trappings of religion. The sole purpose is to swear and insult believers.

This book came up as a search fir George Carlin. The content is no where near the quality of Carlin-like commentary.
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3 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars freaking hilarious February 28, 2011
By A Customer
Format:Kindle Edition
He is denouncing faith from the average atheist point of view then from some philosiphical crap I don't have the patience to read. The author does have a redundancy to call americans stupid but as an american i get to see the point. Very good read, i would recomend it to anyone so long as they dont mind a bit of vulgarity.
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1 of 10 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Garbage January 2, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
There are very few writers that use dirty words and still be humorous. The author of this pile of dung is not of them & hopefully won't quit his day job. Once again it proves that one cannot judge a book by it's cover!
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