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Jesus Is Lard: Smelly, Corrupt, and Bad For You Paperback – December 9, 2010


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Jesus Is Lard: Smelly, Corrupt, and Bad For You + Does God Get Diarrhea?: Flushing 4,000 Years Of Lies, Myths, And Fairy Tales Down The Toilet + Jesus Lied: He Was Only Human: Debunking The New Testament
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 194 pages
  • Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (December 9, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1456417452
  • ISBN-13: 978-1456417451
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #105,684 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Odin Zeus McGaffer was born of a virgin on December 25th over 2,000 years ago. Much of his life remains a mystery, but crackpot theologians believe that he was a virgin carpenter with communist tendencies. McGaffer was murdered by his loving father, rose from the dead, and came back to Earth to consume large quantities of beer and fried cheese sticks. Although there is no solid evidence that supports the claims made in this biography, it cannot be disproven. Therefore you should believe this biography, in it's entirety, without good reason or justification.

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Customer Reviews

Written with great humor and is fun to read.
Egghead-8
All about how christians can't agree on what god wants, but they still all think they know the answers anyway.
Cypress Green
Recommend this book to anyone religious or non religious.
Brian Dimond

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

30 of 39 people found the following review helpful By Robert Smith on March 23, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read Odin Zeus McGaffer's previous book "Does God Get Diarreah" and I thought it was well thought out and easy to understand with common sense & easily understood language that kept me hooked on reading his arguments against religion & indirectly a case for atheism.
Naturally this gave me similarly high expectations for a book that exposes the blatant hypocrisy & ridiculousness of religion in the C21st.
Needless to say I'm very pleased that this book is just as good if not better than the previous one.

Here are a few quotes that show what I mean by the absurdity of religion such as the impossible task of reconciling free will & an all-knowing god who knows down to the letter what will happen in your life.
"You cannot possibly have free will in a predetermined plan. Either there is no plan & free will or there is a plan & no free will." Ch IV P76
So if Christians for example truly believed in the above, murderers shouldn't be imprisoned because they are simply pawns executing God's plan by killing innocent people & rapists also should be free since the poor women (& men) should be grateful that they had sex against their own will and possibly having to pay for raising a bastard child.
This could go on & on but I think the above two should suffice in emphasing the incompatibility of free will & a plan executed down to the smallest detail by an all-powerful creator.
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15 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Cypress Green on August 5, 2011
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If you enjoyed Odin Zeus McGaffer's first book, you are sure to enjoy this wickedly funny follow up. Easily offended christians should not read this book! As it says on the copyright page, "This book contains adult content, profanity, sexual references of a graphic nature, logic, reason, rationality, and toilet humor. All of which may be damaging to your health. Proceed with caution."

The only problem with this book is some typos and the fact that the cover of my copy is curling and starting to lose its protective plastic coating. So what? say I. It is self-published and I bought it to enjoy the content, not to worry about the occasional error. I mean, it's not poetry!
As with the first book, the photos and illustrations add a fun touch to the text! Hilarious!

Here's a rundown of the contents of the book by chapter:

1. If god existed and he wanted to sum up his expectations of your relationship with him, this would be it. It's a legalese laden contract with god, including a version of the 10 commandments. Example: "X. CLIENT SHALL NOT DESIRE BELONGINGS OF OTHER CLIENTS. During time spent on Earth, CLIENT may notice that GOD, Inc. has provided other CLIENTS with material possessions, spouses, or circumstances that are superior to those of the CLIENT. CLIENT shall not desire anything that belongs to other CLIENTS of GOD, Inc. including, but not limited to, food, shelter, spouses, flat-screen televisions, or any other material possessions. CLIENT agrees to suppress all notions and emotions of desire based on observations of other CLIENTS."

2. A takeoff on belief in god as illustrated by belief in Lard Santa.

3. All about how christians can't agree on what god wants, but they still all think they know the answers anyway.

4.
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18 of 24 people found the following review helpful By dawgpaula on September 10, 2011
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I love this book, IT IS HILARIOUS! Very frank, full of factual statements and it should be a 6th grade textbook--all children should have the option of reading this as well as the bible! Unfortunately, a stealth mission is required to get the book into the creepy South Texas bible belt!
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By B. NASKI on August 20, 2013
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COMICAL POKE AT RELIGION, BUT TRUE, WE THAT HAVENT HAD OUR MINDS TAKEN OVER BUT THE DELUSIONAL RELIGIOUS,

LOOK AT REALITY, NOT FANTASY, WILL APPRECIATE THIS!

WE HAVE TO DO OUR OWN RESEARCH, NOT HAVE SOME PREACHER GUIDE US TO THE SEVERAL PARTS (5%) THAT THEY

CONSTANTLY REFER TO, THE REST OF THE BIBLE DOSENT MAKE ANY SCENE TO ANY RELATIONAL PERSON,

ON RESEARCH ONE CAN PLAINLY SEE THAT CHRISTIANITY IS PLAGERIZED FROM EGYPTIAN, BUDDIST. AND GREEK RELIGIONS
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If you are looking for a book that offers a short, concise and albeit condescending vulgar exposition of the absurdity of Judeo -Christian belief, look no further. McGaffer writes for a generation which perhaps is more conversant in his use of toilet humor than aging boomers. Beyond this directness lies an satirical original approach to the irrationality of belief. McGaffer has no patience with blind adhesion to religion. He is the hipster Thomas Paine. The book however is likely to be read by those who have already abandoned religion. Those others, infected and in the bubble, are unlikely to be swayed by logic and rational argument. Within the realm of the apologists lie a plethoric range of cognitive escapism. The pervasiveness and power of myth is deep, somnambulistic, machiavellian, anti-democratic and in extremes, lethal. In an age of rising global religious violence McGaffer sounds the clarion call to better thinking. The book should be read to the young before they become indoctrinated in myth and superstition.

In the book, Christianity is nakedly exposed as a vestigial cultural appendage which is mired in an ancient backwater of barbarism. As the anthropologist Clifford Geertz called such allegiance, "primordial sentiments " toward religious communities above all others. In short, those who find this work blasphemous are encoded with a pathological smug certainty with a dissonant disregard of facts.
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