Customer Reviews

Jewish Way in Love and Marriage

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If you are Jewish and want to get married read this book first. It covers the wedding and related issues as well as the question of how to know whom to marry in a clear pleasant fashion. I read this after I met my wife, in preparation for the wedding so that I would fully understand the wedding day and all the other issues. Reading and understanding the material in this book really enhanced the very special day of our wedding and laid the foundations for our marriage together.

Rabbi Morris Lamm is a well-known and well-regarded author of books on Jewish practice. Regardless of the level of one's observance, this book is well worth reading and owning.

A secular view of intimacy and marriage has become pervasive in today's society. High divorce rates and low marriage satisfaction are all too common, it is evident that something is wrong. Fortunately, there is hope for those willing to follow traditional, time-tested principles. Maurice Lamm provides sound adviced based on biblical principles and Jewish law. This book contains a great deal of information on a variety of topics.

If you are a single Jew, this book will help you know what your responsiblities are and what you should look for in a future mate. If you have already decided on your spouse, this book is useful for the practical information it gives about Jewish Marriage.

Thank you Rabbi Lamm for supporting biblicals morales in a time when they are not valued enough in our society!

I'm so glad I got this book, even though I don't hold to the legal strictures in Chapter 5. Chapter 8, "Jewish Insights Into Marriage", is worth the price of admission: "Marriage is the natural home of love", says Rabbi Lamm, and then presents the considered and road-tested advice of the sages about how to make commitment last, and why.

I read other sections with trepidation (being a feminist and not so high on the ladder of observance) and found such beautiful material attesting to centuries of recognition that a wife is not property, but a person made in the image of G-d.

Chapter 6, "Qualities of the Ideal Mate", speaks first of compassion, including compassion towards animals -- going all the way back to Rebekah (Rivka). I'd like to show that chapter to some of the adolescents in my life. And at the same time, reading his explanation of what modesty (tzniut) of character means, I have more appreciation for women who choose to cover their hair.

This is not the ultimate checklist book, but I really like Part Five, where the author fills in the history of each component ceremony of a Jewish wedding. Actually, the reason I bought this book is because I didn't like the current century's spin on the veiling ritual (bedeken). The classic explanations (set forth at the end of Ch.14) do much more both to respect the bride as an individual and to focus on the specialness of the link between bride and groom.

That same chapter goes over every detail of the traditional ketubah, line by line... Anyone who is passionate about the rights of women could find inspiration in those details, especially when you figure for how many centuries wives were still chattel in British and other legal systems. Or you can skip the details and just glance at the headings in Ch. 10. The ideas come through.

To broaden out from this book, particularly for Conservative, Reform, or interfaith couples, do try Anita Diamant's "New Jewish Wedding" (it's probably on the screen right now) and/or Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer's "Creative Jewish Wedding Book" for some beautiful artwork, inclusive translations, and other goodies. Either of those books would be an affirming resource for same-sex couples, to balance this one.

But pretty much anyone who thinks there's value in marriage and who finds some wisdom in the Bible could find something to inspire them in this book, like in Ch. 9's celebration of companionship. Of course, if you have the time to read through the Talmud and Rambam and all that yourself, no problem! But for me, I'm very happy Rabbi Lamm brought these gems together in this thoughtful book.

A secular view of intimacy and marriage has become pervasive in today's society. High divorce rates and low marriage satisfaction are all too common, it is evident that something is wrong. Fortunately, there is hope for those willing to follow traditional, time-tested principles. Maurice Lamm provides sound adviced based on biblical principles and Jewish law. This book contains a great deal of information on a variety of topics.

If you are a single Jew, this book will help you know what your responsiblities are and what you should look for in a future mate. If you have already decided on your spouse, this book is useful for the practical information it gives about Jewish Marriage.

Thank you Rabbi Lamm for supporting biblicals morales in a time when they are not valued enough in our society!

The old adage, "Ignorance is bliss," could have been applied, a couple of generations back, to just about every human endeavor. But today, when it comes to making marriage a success this philosophy is deadly. And as post modern society continues to redefine what marriage is and what constitutes a successful one, the rate of divorce continues to skyrocket.
But this does not have to be so when resources like Maurice Lamm's book The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage are so easily accessible. Mr. Lamm wrote for the common person in 1980 with the hope of answering the question, "How do you make a marriage work in this modern world?" In its '90's reprint it still stands as a definitive work to help Jewish couples succeed in their marriages. Mr. Lamm, however, needs to be introduced to a much wider audience. Christian marriage mortality statistics have rapidly, in the last two decades, caught up with the numbers of the greater society. In some Christian circles the rate of dissolving marriages may in fact exceed the rest of society. Some Christian perspectives may be challenged to accept the teachings of Judaism on any subject. But the crisis of marriages in the Church could just possibly permit Christians to read Lamm's work with humility and an open mind. Once into his tremendous treatise, Christians will be exposed to a profoundly biblical approach to marriage. They will find ancient and timeless answers to the problems of making a man and a woman live together as one in harmony and bliss.
Most helpful to the Christian church, which remains a bastion of the Romantic Movement and of sexual confusion, is Lamm's exposé on the role of sexual desire and satisfaction in marriage. His presentation of the biblical view of romance clears away the shaky ground upon which most relationships are being founded in the Hollywood driven tradition. His revelation of the intricate ways the rabbi's have ruled to help people make "perfect" matches is thought provoking. Reflective people looking for their beloved ones are given tremendously helpful criteria based on generations of experience and application of the wise rabbis to assist in their modern day search. And finally, any serious Christian worker will want to read this book to have a broader and better educated view of biblical marriages with which to counsel broken relationships in the church.
Lamms style is straightforward and easy to understand. But don't let that fool you. His book is thoroughly researched and will give more than enough resources for the one who needs to know more. As an ordained, Evangelical minister of twenty-five years, I recommend this work without hesitation to all who desire to live distinctive biblical lives.

I've chosen this book expecting a comprehensive review of love and marriage under jewish lenses. Unfortunately the book is skewed to very radical views of the world and sound like literature from three centuries ago.

When the author says a jew should abandon his son in the case he was produced outside formal wedding locks I decided to abandon reading. Judaism for me is about being the best you can as a human being and abandoning a child is only fit to a monster, whatever the circunstances he or she is born.

If I could I would "unread" all this. We, as Jews, went down one notch in my view after reading this unfortunate production.