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John Dies at the End [Hardcover]

David Wong
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (784 customer reviews)

List Price: $27.99
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Book Description

September 29, 2009

David Wong has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically.  Every time I set the book down down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying.-- Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion

"Wong is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement."
--Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep
 
"That rarest of things--a genuinely scary story."--David Wellington, author of Monster Island, Vampire Zero
 
"JOHN DIES AT THE END has a cult following for a reason:  it's horrific, thought-provoking, and hilarious all at once.  This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read."--Jacob Kier, Publisher, Permuted Press                                    

STOP.  You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.  NO, don't put it down. It's too late.  They're watching you.  My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.  You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.  The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this:  The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension.  John and I never had the chance to say no.  You still do.   I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:   None of this was my fault.


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this reissue of an Internet phenomenon originally slapped between two covers in 2007 by indie Permutus Press, Wong—Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego—adroitly spoofs the horror genre while simultaneously offering up a genuinely horrifying story. The terror is rooted in a substance known as soy sauce, a paranormal psychoactive that opens video store clerk Wong's—and his penis-obsessed friend John's—minds to higher levels of consciousness. Or is it just hell seeping into the unnamed Midwestern town where Wong and the others live? Meat monsters, wig-wearing scorpion aberrations and wingless white flies that burrow into human skin threaten to kill Wong and his crew before infesting the rest of the world. A multidimensional plot unfolds as the unlikely heroes drink lots of beer and battle the paradoxes of time and space, as well as the clichés of first-person-shooter video games and fantasy gore films. Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"John Dies at the End…[is] a case of the author trying to depict actual, soul-sucking lunacy, and succeeding with flying colors." –Fangoria

“David Wong is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King . . . ‘page-turner’ is an understatement.” --Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm IV and Bubba Ho-tep

“David Wong has managed to write that rarest of things---a genuinely scary story.” --David Wellington, author of Monster Island and Vampire Zero

"The rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares." --The Onion AV Club

“Sure to please the Fangoria  set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.” –Publishers Weekly

"When it’s funny, it's laugh-out-loud funny, yet when the situation calls for chills, it provides them in spades."--Kirkus Reviews


Product Details

  • Hardcover: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; 1st Printing edition (September 29, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 031255513X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312555139
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 1.3 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (784 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #123,262 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
237 of 259 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect comedy meets perfect horror September 17, 2007
Format:Paperback
If you blended the works of Lovecraft and Kevin Smith, then mixed that with about three parts pure awesome and left it to grow behind your fridge, you might get a vague sense of the genre David Wong bullseyes with this book. It's funny enough to appeal even to non-fans of the horror genre, yet scary enough to stay with you for a long time. It's the sort of book that can raise specters so horrible you tell yourself you couldn't ever have imagined them, yet it keeps your faith in humanity alive with the way Dave and John (especially John) seem to casually flip off a barrage of unspeakable evil. In a book that opens fighting meat-ghosts with '80s glam rock, you know you're in for something special.

It's all about the soy sauce, a mysterious substance that "chooses" its takers and imbues them permanently with an ability to pick up on the doings of other dimensions. In the short term it can provide an insight into spacetime so profound as to tell them just where to go to get a large sum of cash, or how a chicken lived its life before becoming an entree. It's also the key to an invasion from the beyond, but it doesn't end there. The evil wants in, at any cost, and it's not above even cheap schoolyard-style bullying to get its way. Luckily, Dave and John know just how to handle that.

The bizarre thing about this book is that it is literally laugh-out-loud funny, but at the same time it's hide-under-the-bed scary. It is neither horror with comic relief nor comedy with a horror theme. It's both pure comedy and pure horror, two books coexisting in one, which should be impossible but somehow David Wong can pull it off. It kept me hooked right up to the end, for more reasons than just to find out how John dies.
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72 of 88 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read September 5, 2007
Format:Paperback
Most everyone can identify with the narration of this book. It asks questions about the seemingly mundane and then provides you answers that delve into a creepy supernatural world. The situations are hilarious, the twists are unexpected, and the horror is perfect. All three combine to create a truly enjoyable tale about two unlikely heroes and their exploits in a supernatural infested hometown. Pick it up, read it, and love it. You will not regret it...and the velvet Jesus will love you for it.
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137 of 173 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Squancho September 5, 2007
Format:Paperback
This book by up and coming horror/comedy writer David Wong is one of the scariest novels I've read in a very long time. It's not the sort of scary where you're actually scared while reading. Mostly you will be amused, entertained, and probably a bit surprised at parts. The real terror comes once you try to sleep the next night, and the night after, and the night after that and so forth. I haven't slept a full night in the years since I first read John Dies At The End and this is the reason the state took away my driver's license.
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57 of 71 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Mixed feelings... May 27, 2011
Format:Hardcover
This book isn't great, but it isn't bad. For what it is--a sort of blogged penny dreadful--it's pretty good. As far as good literature goes... Not so much.

The horror aspect isn't really scary; I wouldn't personally call it horror because of that. More of a paranormal comedy, I guess. Even though a lot of the monsters sound ridiculous, at least they were creative and different from the typical werewolf/vampire stuff that seems to be plaguing stores. I liked David's tone; one thing I never got about first-person stories was that the narrator almost never talks like a real person--it's usually too well thought out to believe the person is talking to you. David definitely talks as if he's a real person. No fluff or overly thoughtful words... Just a lot of sarcasm and awkwardness.

The comedy... Was hit or miss. Several times I thought to myself that the book read like a 4chan thread because of how immature the jokes were. Some were funny, others were painful. If you like toilet humor, you'll probably enjoy this book. If you want something more sophisticated, you probably won't appreciate this much.

It was long. Too long. I don't have anything against novels being 400 pages, but JDatE seemed to drag on through parts. Some of the stuff could have been cut out or edited down when it was put into print. I do think that the story has potential to be good for the upcoming movie, though, so hopefully the director and screenwriters are able to take advantage of what is there without focusing too much on the superfluous parts.

If you want an easy read that has a sort of awkward, dirty sense of humor and a lot of WTF, you'll probably like this. If you want something deep and meaningful, you should probably look somewhere else.
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35 of 43 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the funniest books available anywhere. September 19, 2007
Format:Paperback
Try this experiment: Flip this book open to any random page and then start reading. No matter what page you've flipped to, there's going to be something hilariously funny on that page. Seriously.

Every damn page. The entire book is so overstuffed with comedy that you could choke a clown with it. Okay, so maybe you could choke a clown with most books. Forget about the clowns. My point is that this is an incredibly funny book.

There's a lot of other stuff going on besides the humor, including some very unsettling horror, interesting plot twists, etc., but it's the comedy that holds it all together. And that comedy is frickin' awesome.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars This book was...odd
I absolutely loved it! I was so happy when I found out they were going to make a movie about it. OMG, this book is great. I don't really know what to say without spoiling it. Read more
Published 2 days ago by J. Moseley
5.0 out of 5 stars Destined to Become a Classic
This novel sits squarely at the crossroads where Timothy Leary, John C. Lilly, and H.P. Lovecraft meet. Read more
Published 2 days ago by cbaughman
5.0 out of 5 stars I love David Wong
Seriously, if I were insane, I'd probably be his brand new stalker. I bought this mainly because I don't like to see a movie before I've read the book. Read more
Published 3 days ago by Sdalbright72
3.0 out of 5 stars Hard to rate
It was really hard to rate this book. Reading it wasn't a drag, but was also frustrating. There are some clear strengths in the story, and some glaring disasters. Read more
Published 4 days ago by T. Edmund
2.0 out of 5 stars cute title & ten... nyah
didn't even finish it. I found it irritating and sloppy. And forgot it almost immediately. Too bad - I was looking forward to reading the one about spiders
Published 4 days ago by M. Levitt
5.0 out of 5 stars Molly is the greatest dog in the whole history of dogs!
The book was page-turning on two levels. Not only was I dying to know what would happen next, I was on the edge of my seat wondering if the author could possibly pull the story... Read more
Published 6 days ago by porkchop
5.0 out of 5 stars Why have I waited till now to read this?!!?
This book is hilarious. It's absurd, insane and full of snarky humor. I appreciate a funny book, but i appreciate a funny book written well. I'm not going to spoil any of it. Read more
Published 8 days ago by Mergadeth
3.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining Silliness Until It Isn't
Starts out fun, fun, fun, with impossibilities piled on improbabilities with great brio. Then the trick gets a little old and the plot wanders. Nice effort, though.
Published 9 days ago by K. Rense
5.0 out of 5 stars wow
i found myself laughing to myself thinking , yea ive thought that before or why is it... not a book i woulda picked up myself but a friend recommended it and i absolutely loved it. Read more
Published 12 days ago by k jones
3.0 out of 5 stars Gets a bit random and forced as it goes on.
Starts well, though.

Seems like a series of shorter ideas was forced into a single book. Very popular, and better than the movie, but for fun contemporary occult, check... Read more
Published 12 days ago by Jure Novak
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Questions on the ending of the audiobook "John Dies At the End"
That is how the original book ends, yes. You didn't miss anything. The question of John actually dying at the end is complicated, because he actually died a bit in the beginning, and the book jumps around a lot.
Jan 29, 2012 by Mida |  See all 4 posts
its reasonably priced just about everywhere else. dont waste your time...
These prices related to the relationship between culture and food?

Perhaps you meant "astronomical."

As for that claim, Amazon looks to have one of the lowest prices, according to Google. To each their own, I guess? =/
Sep 4, 2009 by C. Mitchell |  See all 5 posts
Why so expensive?
Because it's a joke... if you google "John Dies at the End" you can read it online for free at the author's own website...
Jul 19, 2008 by C. C. Ingersoll |  See all 5 posts
Watch the video trailer for JOHN DIES AT THE END here!
Why is this book so expensive?
Jul 10, 2008 by Al |  See all 4 posts
Simliarities to Dr. Who Be the first to reply
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