John Dies at the End [Kindle Edition]

David Wong (Author)

Book Description

David Wong has updated the Lovecraft tradition and infused it with humor that rather than lessening the horror, increases it dramatically.  Every time I set the book down down, I was wary that something really was afoot, that there were creatures I couldn't see, and that because I suspected this, I was next. Engaging, comic, and terrifying.-- Joe Garden, Features Editor, The Onion

"Wong is like a mash-up of Douglass Adams and Stephen King... 'page-turner' is an understatement."

--Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V, Bubba Ho-tep

 

"That rarest of things--a genuinely scary story."--David Wellington, author of Monster Island, Vampire Zero

 

"JOHN DIES AT THE END has a cult following for a reason:  it's horrific, thought-provoking, and hilarious all at once.  This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read."--Jacob Kier, Publisher, Permuted Press                                    

STOP.  You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands.  NO, don't put it down. It's too late.  They're watching you.  My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours.  You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye.  The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me.

The important thing is this:  The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension.  John and I never had the chance to say no.  You still do.   I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind:   None of this was my fault.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this reissue of an Internet phenomenon originally slapped between two covers in 2007 by indie Permutus Press, Wong—Cracked.com editor Jason Pargin's alter ego—adroitly spoofs the horror genre while simultaneously offering up a genuinely horrifying story. The terror is rooted in a substance known as soy sauce, a paranormal psychoactive that opens video store clerk Wong's—and his penis-obsessed friend John's—minds to higher levels of consciousness. Or is it just hell seeping into the unnamed Midwestern town where Wong and the others live? Meat monsters, wig-wearing scorpion aberrations and wingless white flies that burrow into human skin threaten to kill Wong and his crew before infesting the rest of the world. A multidimensional plot unfolds as the unlikely heroes drink lots of beer and battle the paradoxes of time and space, as well as the clichés of first-person-shooter video games and fantasy gore films. Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next. (Oct.)
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Review

Praise for John Dies at the End:

"John Dies at the End...[is] a case of the author trying to depict actual, soul-sucking lunacy, and succeeding with flying colors." -Fangoria

"David Wong is like a mash-up of Douglas Adams and Stephen King . . . 'page-turner' is an understatement." --Don Coscarelli, director, Phantasm I-V and Bubba Ho-tep

"David Wong has managed to write that rarest of things---a genuinely scary story." --David Wellington, author of Monster Island and Vampire Zero

"The rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares." --The Onion AV Club

"Sure to please the Fangoria  set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next." -Publishers Weekly

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• File Size: 972 KB
• Print Length: 479 pages
• Page Numbers Source ISBN: 031255513X
• Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; Media Tie-In edition (September 29, 2009)
• Sold by: Macmillan
• Language: English
• ASIN: B002Q7H7JC
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Enabled
• Lending: Not Enabled
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,641 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  • #28 in Books > Literature & Fiction > United States > Humor
  • #44 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Humor
  • #48 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Humor

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

234 of 256 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect comedy meets perfect horror September 17, 2007

By Lee Gaiteri VINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

If you blended the works of Lovecraft and Kevin Smith, then mixed that with about three parts pure awesome and left it to grow behind your fridge, you might get a vague sense of the genre David Wong bullseyes with this book. It's funny enough to appeal even to non-fans of the horror genre, yet scary enough to stay with you for a long time. It's the sort of book that can raise specters so horrible you tell yourself you couldn't ever have imagined them, yet it keeps your faith in humanity alive with the way Dave and John (especially John) seem to casually flip off a barrage of unspeakable evil. In a book that opens fighting meat-ghosts with '80s glam rock, you know you're in for something special.

It's all about the soy sauce, a mysterious substance that "chooses" its takers and imbues them permanently with an ability to pick up on the doings of other dimensions. In the short term it can provide an insight into spacetime so profound as to tell them just where to go to get a large sum of cash, or how a chicken lived its life before becoming an entree. It's also the key to an invasion from the beyond, but it doesn't end there. The evil wants in, at any cost, and it's not above even cheap schoolyard-style bullying to get its way. Luckily, Dave and John know just how to handle that.

The bizarre thing about this book is that it is literally laugh-out-loud funny, but at the same time it's hide-under-the-bed scary. It is neither horror with comic relief nor comedy with a horror theme. It's both pure comedy and pure horror, two books coexisting in one, which should be impossible but somehow David Wong can pull it off. It kept me hooked right up to the end, for more reasons than just to find out how John dies.

72 of 88 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read September 5, 2007

By Kris Saylor

Format:Paperback

Most everyone can identify with the narration of this book. It asks questions about the seemingly mundane and then provides you answers that delve into a creepy supernatural world. The situations are hilarious, the twists are unexpected, and the horror is perfect. All three combine to create a truly enjoyable tale about two unlikely heroes and their exploits in a supernatural infested hometown. Pick it up, read it, and love it. You will not regret it...and the velvet Jesus will love you for it.

56 of 68 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Mixed feelings... May 27, 2011

By Elizabeth Hamilton

Format:Hardcover

This book isn't great, but it isn't bad. For what it is--a sort of blogged penny dreadful--it's pretty good. As far as good literature goes... Not so much.

The horror aspect isn't really scary; I wouldn't personally call it horror because of that. More of a paranormal comedy, I guess. Even though a lot of the monsters sound ridiculous, at least they were creative and different from the typical werewolf/vampire stuff that seems to be plaguing stores. I liked David's tone; one thing I never got about first-person stories was that the narrator almost never talks like a real person--it's usually too well thought out to believe the person is talking to you. David definitely talks as if he's a real person. No fluff or overly thoughtful words... Just a lot of sarcasm and awkwardness.

The comedy... Was hit or miss. Several times I thought to myself that the book read like a 4chan thread because of how immature the jokes were. Some were funny, others were painful. If you like toilet humor, you'll probably enjoy this book. If you want something more sophisticated, you probably won't appreciate this much.

It was long. Too long. I don't have anything against novels being 400 pages, but JDatE seemed to drag on through parts. Some of the stuff could have been cut out or edited down when it was put into print. I do think that the story has potential to be good for the upcoming movie, though, so hopefully the director and screenwriters are able to take advantage of what is there without focusing too much on the superfluous parts.

If you want an easy read that has a sort of awkward, dirty sense of humor and a lot of WTF, you'll probably like this. If you want something deep and meaningful, you should probably look somewhere else.

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#37 in Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Horror

#37 in Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Horror