Customer Reviews

The Jonathon Letters: One Family's Use of Support as They Took in, and Fell in Love with, a Troubled Child

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As someone who has read a lot about RAD (reactive attachment disorder), I found inspiration and hope in this account of one family's struggles and their connection to the therapist who encouraged them through the darkest days, helped them see hope in the midst of absolute chaos and put them in touch with the loving spirit hidden deep within one very scared, angry little boy.

I loved this book but I want to be clear about its limitations as well as its strengths. Each chapter is very straightforward and written for "regular" people, not professionals or therapists (one chapter is titled "How We Got into This Situation"). It is an honest account from both the perspective of the parents and the therapist. One chapter is devoted only to the therapist's viewpoint. It is not full of tips, ideas or all-purpose guidelines for dealing with RAD but is the very individualized experience of one family.

For those who find reading somewhat of a chore, they may find this book MUCH easier and more accessable than others, since it is written in a series of short letters. It does not necessarily have to be read straight through, although I tend to think it is most beneficial if read from start to finish because that shows most clearly the transition from meeting Jonathon to dealing with him, being baffled by him, etc.

A key chapter is the one in which the family decides to adopt Jonathon, noting that "there is a side of him that has a lot of love and sweetness and that side of him needs a chance to survive." It was far from an easy decision to make as Jonathon was a typical RAD child, with no definite signs of EVER being able to engage fully with this family- or any other. He had a history of past abuse and rejection and serious problems trusting anyone (understandably). My heart went out to him even as I wondered if he'd be able to find the resiliance to bond with his new family.

Those in the midst of their own struggles with an RAD child may find some solace and hope here. I want to reiterate that it is NOT a guidebook or "how to" manual for dealing with RAD. Rather, it is one family's story but within that story are the seeds of inspiration, allowing readers to feel that they are not alone in their own struggles. Along the way, there are some suggestions that might be useful to other parents, especially when it comes to handing out consequences but these are interspersed with anecdotes and daily accounts. The tips are NOT the heart of this book.

It was extremely fascinating to see how the therapeutic process helped smooth the transition from foster parenting to full adoption of Jonathon. Without the skilled intervention of this particular therapist, I'm not sure if the adoption would have worked.

I work with families who are struggling to find hope and healing for their children who have attachment issues. The Jonathon Letters provides a rich and meaningful story of the hopes, fears, struggles and triumphs of one family in their journey. I have already begun strongly recommending this book to the families with whom I work and have added it to my list of required reading for both the staff members and parents with whom I work. This book provides a wonderfully honest and realistic insight into the hopes and fears so many families face.

With over 17 years of experience working with severely traumatized children in a residential treatment setting, this is one of the most helpful and enlightening books I have come across. It challenged me to look at the children and adolescents I work with in a different light and gave me new and innovative ideas to be able to work much more effectively with our children. The suggestions that Michael gave Lorie were strategies that I have used repeatedly and found effective.

I just can't recommend this book highly enough for both parents and professionals working in the field of foster care and adoption. Michael Trout's intelligent, thoughtful and sensitive responses to this foster/adoptive mother's experiences are such an inspiration to read. I have repeatedly had both parents and professionals tell me that they could not put this book down! It is destined to become a classic among those who are making the courageous commitment to parent a deeply wounded child.