The Journal of Best Practices [Kindle Edition]

David Finch (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“David Finch has Asperger Syndrome – a disorder that, in some ways, means ‘acting like a guy.’ His often-hilarious efforts to understand and cope with his condition will resonate with every guy whose wife has ever asked him, ‘What the hell were you THINKING?’”

--Dave Barry, author of I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

“I loved The Journal of Best Practices by fellow Aspergian David Finch. This book perfectly captures the essence of succeeding at married life from the perspective of an Aspergian male. If you're in an AS-NT relationship—or any relationship--you absolutely must read this book! It's an upbeat and refreshing change.”

–John Elder Robison, author of Look Me In the Eye

“Hilarious. Gives some of the finest explications of Asperger’s out there… a primer of sorts for all of us on how to be better partners.”

--People Magazine, 4-star review

“What makes the book compelling is how funny Mr. Finch is about himself. He’s great company.”

--The New York Times

“Extremely amusing and compelling…This poignant memoir is a great read for those with Asperger Syndrome and the neurotypical alike.”

--Shelf Awareness

Product Description

At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch’s case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David’s ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn’t make him any easier to live with.

Determined to change, David sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband— no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter’s, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife’s point of view a near impossibility.

Nevertheless, David devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, the Journal of Best Practices: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include “Don’t change the radio station when she’s singing along,” “Apologies do not count when you shout them,” and “Be her friend, first and always.” Guided by the Journal of Best Practices, David transforms himself over the course of two years from the world’s most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he’d always meant to be.

Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, The Journal of Best Practices is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all.

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Product Details

• Format: Kindle Edition
• File Size: 733 KB
• Publisher: Scribner (January 3, 2012)
• Sold by: Simon and Schuster Digital Sales Inc
• Language: English
• ASIN: B004T4KRJM
• Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,953 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  • #2 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Personal Health > Children's Health > Autism & Asperger's Syndrome
  • #4 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Nonfiction > Advice & How-to > Health, Mind & Body > Relationships > Marriage
  • #10 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Marriage

More About the Author

David Finch grew up on a farm in northern Illinois. He earned a degree in music engineering at the University of Miami, where he stunned the locals with his gleaming, pasty white skin, then returned to Illinois, where he worked as an audio engineer and studied sketch-comedy writing at the Second City in Chicago. He and his wife, Kristen, married in 2003, and in 2008, David was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. His essay "Somewhere Inside, A Path To Empathy" appeared in The New York Times and became the basis for his first book, The Journal of Best Practices. His essays have appeared in The New York Times, Slate, and Psychology Today. David lives in northern Illinois with Kristen and their two children.

More information about booking David for lectures and other private appearances, including book clubs, can be found on his website: www.davidfinchwriter.com

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Memoir of a Marriage of a Remarkable Couple, January 7, 2012

By 

O. Brown "Ms. O. Khannah-Brown" (Twopeas, WA) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Journal of Best Practices (Kindle Edition)

*****
This is a great story, a memoir of an experiment in which the author, recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, works really, really hard on his marriage and his role as a husband and father of two young children. As an engineer, he believes that if he can apply the same dedication and to his marriage that he has historically applied to his job (in which he is very successful), he can achieve success and happiness in his personal life as well. It's written in a tender, honest, and humorous style, and is worth the read not just for those of us who are interested in AS, but for anyone who would enjoy the story of a man overcoming obstacles and prevailing.

It is of note that although the author always knew that he was different from other people, he never knew that he had AS until after he was married and his problems began to destroy his marriage. His wife, who is a speech therapist, helped his to suspect this diagnosis, which was then verified by medical professionals.

We only see his wife through his eyes, but this is her story too, and in many ways, this book is his love letter to her.

I chose this book to read because my husband is quite eccentric with many problems similar to the author's, and although he does not currently have an AS diagnosis (and probably never will), I thought it would be interesting to see how someone who was not neurologically typical and who is very articulate about himself views life. It was indeed a fascinating read.

The author is to be commended for working very hard on his marriage and being so generous to share about it in this memoir; his wife is a delight and a joy to love her husband deeply and with strong boundaries. This couple figured out how to get through life together and be happy. If you'd like to read about how they did that, and you'd like to see the world through the eyes of someone with AS, you will certainly enjoy this book.

Highly recommended.
*****

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Practices is the Best, January 17, 2012

By 

A. Lamas - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband (Hardcover)

Normally I don't seek out books about marriage, being happily divorced myself, but I do enjoy memoir. Intrigued by the title, I decided to give The Journal of Best Practices a go. Wow! I was totally pulled in from the first sentence and the thrall just kept on coming. The author, David Finch, is one kooky, awesome, hilarious dude and although I can't say I'd like being married to an Aspie, I do appreciate a helluva great story, writing that sails, humor both silly and droll and warts and all truthfulness. Here is a man who wants to save his marriage and loves his neurotypical wife so much (she loves him back as fully) he's willing to try and re-wire his hard-wire. Prepare to laugh out loud. Prepare to enter the mind of an Aspie and learn about Asperger Syndrome. Prepare to mull over your own behavior and quirks. This is a book about the Finches getting back their pre-marriage friendship and love and "getting" each other again. (The author has some major challenges to overcome; hence the journal of the best ways to approach a problem.) Bottom line, Best Practices is a love story. Wherever we all are on the human spectrum, isn't that what we're looking for? I loved this book. Bet you will, too.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So honest and funny, January 22, 2012

By 

KatieKatie - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband (Hardcover)

About 2 days before stumbling upon this book, I bombed the very online Aspie quiz the author references in chapter 1 of this book. Honestly, I was laughing so hard at this chapter that I had to take a break. It is possibly the hardest I've ever laughed at a book. Oh, to be understood!

I was officially diagnosed a few days after that and one of the first things my doc said was, "You're probably kind of hard to be married to. You might need a little help with that." Who knew this book would actually be a powerful tool, too? I only bought it because it was funny. Now I can use it as a reference guide.

I don't think you'd have to be an Aspie to get a kick out of this book. Sensitivity levels seem to be imbalanced between many spouses. I'd think Best Practices could be cathartic and educational for the insensitive types. And I'd have to assume it would be a healing read for the people married to them, because Finch does an excellent job illustrating that he can and does love, regardless of the fact that he has a tendency to bungle the expression of it.

I admire Finch's guts. He bares it all.