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219 of 221 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
From a broken-hearted therapist..., October 24, 2002
This review is from: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life (Mass Market Paperback)
I wanted to take the time out to write a review of this book as I have benefitted from it from two points of view. I have been a psychotherapist for twenty years and as such have come face to face with the pain of abandonment in many forms. The loss of love through betrayal, death, changed family circumstances, ill health, divorce, etc. It is often the root cause of much of the pain that people present to my office with. As well, being a person in this world, I too have been abandoned and despite the knowledge I hold as a mental health professional, experienced the full impact of that wrenching, soul-destroying, desperate fear and sadness. As I reflected on my own loss, I found Susan's book uniquely helpful. It was especially useful to learn about the science of abandonment. It helped me to feel as if I was not loosing my mind and that despite all the information I held as a therapist, as a biological being, some of my experiences were natural and primal and although extremely painful...they were understandable. It gave me a real sense of hope and possibility. Consequently, I have shared this book with many of my patients. Almost universally they have found it both comforting and helpful as a realistic tool toward healing and change. It is a book that I would not be without in the library of references I use to help others. There will be times when someone is unable to fully utilize this book. When their fear of being hurt again is so intense that they hold on to the pain of abandonment as a way of never connecting again. A book that truly helps to transform is not embraced by anyone who unconsciously holds on to a wish to remain unchanged. So, as a practitioner and a survivor, I could not recommend this book more highly!!
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82 of 82 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Quality help for abandonment recovery!, July 19, 2004
By A Customer
This review is from: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life (Mass Market Paperback)
Dr. Susan Anderson has masterfully articulated the experience of abandonment as only a survivor of abandonment could know. She is a survivor herself. Her book, The Journey From Abandonment To Healing, keeps a gentle, respectful tone towards the survivor, and is easy to understand throughout. This book clearly articulates what I struggled to put into words about the abandonment symptoms I was experiencing. Abandonment is defined as an involuntary separation. Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desparation caused by this desire. The book also covers in great detail the physiology behind emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones) which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss; and how society acknowledges those grieving over a death but not over a lost love. Finally, Dr. Anderson gives some effective exercises in overcoming the crippling symptoms of abandonment. The exercises are not "pat" answers as found in some mainstream books and magazines. These are extensive, healing exercises requiring vulnerable, self-introspection. I hope this helps someone else out there, too. It sure saved my sanity and all for the modest price of a book -- not an expensive block of therapy sessions!
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53 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
EXTRAORDINARILY GENEROUS AND HELPFUL, July 16, 2002
By A Customer
This review is from: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life (Mass Market Paperback)
This is the first review I have written on Amazon.com, and I am writing it because I want to urge anyone profoundly heartbroken, devastated, and utterly unsure of how to survive, READ THIS BOOK. There are numerous breakup recovery books out there -- I've read scores of them -- but this is the first one I have found that is actually addressing _profound_ heartbreak, the kind of devastation that is simply not amenable to logic, conscious affirmations, and rational decisions to cope. If you've tried bravery, common-sense, and straight-out endurance, try reading this book instead - because incredibly, Susan Anderson managed to not only help you understand what you're going through -- she also comes up with five amazingly original exercises that can actually HELP you endure the unendurable. I know. I've been using them. I cannot say enough about this book. Anderson doesn't ever water down the agony -- twenty-five years of work with heartbroken patients has made her very aware of the intricacies of abandonment grief. But despite this realistic knowledge of the pain, she offers hope -- not the glib, "You'll recover eventually!" hope of most breakup-recovery books, but a nuanced, particular hope specific to each grief stage, and always attentive to the suffering you are undergoing at each moment. An incredible, generous and loving book.
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