Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness [Paperback]

Betty Jean Lifton (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 6, 1995

Betty Jean Lifton, whose Lost and Found has become a bible to adoptees and to those who would understand the adoption experience, explores further the inner world of the adopted person. She breaks new ground as she traces the adopted child’s lifelong struggle to form an authentic sense of self. And she shows how both the symbolic and the literal search for roots becomes a crucial part of the journey toward wholeness.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Lifton has written before on this highly charged subject ( Lost and Found and Twice Born: Memoirs of an Adopted Daughter ), but this is a more profound investigation of the trauma she sees as occurring when a child is separated from his or her birth mother and is brought up by people not of his or her blood. Lifton is for "open" adoption--meaning, to her, not only that the adoptee should have a chance to find out about his or her birth mother, but preferably that both sets of parents should get to know each other. She discourses at length, with reference to myth, legend, folklore, science, psychiatry, as well as to many personal experiences, about the crippling effect of the loss of the birth mother on the adoptee's sense of self; she even cites evidence showing that adoptive sons are more likely than natural ones to murder their parents. Despite one chapter (out of 17) devoted to him, the father's role seems little considered, that of the mother expanded to awe-inspiring proportions. And no attention is paid to the many cases in which the birth mother would not have been the ideal parent, despite the almost mystical qualities with which the author endows her. An eloquent book, but only one side of an argument in which two reasonable sides exist.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Drawing on 50 in-depth interviews and over 20 questionnaires, Lifton details the psychological stages and problems of those who have been adopted. An adoptee herself, Lifton has written Lost and Found ( LJ 4/1/79) and Twice Born ( LJ 9/1/75). Here she argues that it is crucial for adoptees to know as much as possible about their backgrounds in order to avoid the trauma that adoption can cause. According to the author, "the secret in today's adoptive family is not that the child is adopted but who the child is." An extensive appendix of resources including networks, support groups, periodicals, and recommended reading is particularly impressive. This is a thoughtful and useful work for all those with questions about the psychological legacy of adoption. Recommended where demand warrants.
- January Adams, ODSI Research Lib., Raritan, N.J.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Basic Books (May 6, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0465036759
• ISBN-13: 978-0465036752
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #255,283 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Context is everything., November 16, 2004

By 

Laurel Jenkins-Crowe "jenkinscrowe" (Memphis, TN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness (Paperback)

Those of us who were adopted in the 60s or before may well never have had our experiences validated. We waste energy we could put into healing wondering, "What's wrong with me?" because we were taught adoption makes no difference, and that asking questions about our origins would be disloyal. Adoptive parents of the same era may well be wondering where they went wrong in raising their adopted children; I know mine have. They didn't do anything wrong, they just weren't given the tools they needed to raise a child they did not give birth to.

For people adopted in the era after books like The Adoption Triangle and The Primal Wound were published, this Journey may seem like wallowing or old hat, but this book was invaluable to me. Reading it and dealing with the feelings it provoked was step one on my journey to healing. This book gave me the courage to find my birth mother. When I was a teenager, the birthmother search was unthinkable, open adoptions didn't exist, and the epithet b*stard was anything but a badge of pride.

If you read this and feel it doesn't apply to you because being adopted doesn't matter, please leave a little space in your head and heart to consider that it just might matter a little bit. Try reading it again in a year or two. If it still doesn't apply to you, count yourself lucky, and have compassion for those of us who feel we were traumatized by adoption.

The Quest For Wholeness is one we all must undertake. Best of luck to you on yours.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and inspiring, a book you can't put down!, March 5, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness (Paperback)

Journey of the Adopted Self is truly an inspiring book that spoke not only to me the adult, but also me the child. I am an adoptee who didn't think that adoption affected my overall self until I began to read about *me* between the pages of this book. Identifying with and understanding the psyche of a baby separated from its mother early, I realized that I had always wanted to be cradled when things were difficult in life, that I always wanted to meet someone who could take care of me but was afraid of rejection, and my "natural" instinct to distance my adoptive mother from me may have been my reaction to being separated at birth from my natural mother. This book also described my adoptive brother who seems "stuck" in his evolving into an adult. As I have begun a reunion with my birthmother, my adoptive mother and I have become closer, and with the help of this book, I've been able to be exposed to other points of view objectively instead of just reacting to situations. I truly feel that this is a book that will help adoptees not only cope with the issues of being adopted, but will help heal the invisible scars on our hearts

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Relief, August 26, 2003

By 

Tracy L. Crowe (Charlotte, NC USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness (Hardcover)

I find it hard to describe the impact that Ms. Lifton's book has had on me. I spent many nights crying and furiously scribbling in my journal because of the emotional tidal waves that would consume me as I read Journey of the Adopted Self. I read this book seven years after my reunion with my birthparents, and I only wish I had known about it back then. I would very much recommend this book to anyone who has been adopted, as it will help to fit together the jagged pieces of your heart and mind. I can only say "thank you" to Ms. Lifton for writing her insightful and compassionate books; Journey of the Adopted Self is one of the reasons that I am a functional human being today.