3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
"This trip's too long. I'm stopping at the drive-thru." "Good. Get me a Big Magma with fries. Hold the crust.", December 6, 2010
This review is from: Journey to the Center of the Earth (DVD)
Boy, was this movie an educational experience. I learned:
1) When you assemble a military group to participate in a mission involving teleportation, make sure they're all good looking women in tight tank tops. (Well, tank tops are part of the military wardrobe, aren't they?)
2) When the sound department screws up on the audio to where the background noise muffles the dialogue (in this case, during the "burrowing deep into the earth" scenes), you're probably not missing much when it's Greg Evigan and Dedee Pfeiffer doing the talking.
3) The center of the earth doesn't have much in the way of magma, but rather a seemingly similar environment to, say, a national park in the U.S. Only with dinosaurs, weird plants and giant spiders. Otherwise, an ideal vacation spot.
4) When your soldiers are mistakenly teleported to the center of the earth instead of Germany, always be prepared and have already in your possession machinery capable of going through 600 kilometers worth of crust, magma and the occassional void. Even when this problem was never conceived.
5) When films like this claim to be "based" on, in this case, the Jules Verne classic novel of the same name, they always conveniently leave out the word "loosely" in front of it.
And lastly, a horribly asinine and inept movie can always be forgiven if also providing a compensating amount of unintentional belly laughs. 5/10
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Good Title Bad Movie, February 7, 2009
This review is from: Journey to the Center of the Earth (DVD)
One might be excused for thinking that this version of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH shared an ancestry with Jules Verne. It does not, nor does it claim kinship with any other recognizable film. The plot has been done before but in the James Mason version, one can see a vastly entertaining effort. Even the Brandon Fraser version had its moments. This one starts off badly and goes downhill from there. Greg Evigan is a scientist who drives a bullet shaped earth drilling machine to rescue six attractive female soldiers who were teleported by mistake to an underground world 600 kilometers under the earth's surface--not quite the center of the earth but who's counting. The earth driller was lifted bodily from Edgar Rice Burroughs' AT THE EARTH'S CORE. In Evigan's case, the earth's core looks remarkably like the Rockies. No one bothered to raise the obvious question of why an underground area the size of Montana should resemble the surface in terms of sky, brightness, flora, and fauna. The stranded ladies encounter the expected prehistoric beasts, but their collective appearances are so shoddy that the audience cares little. One of the ladies has issues with another. Evigan has issues with his ex-wife who accompanies him in the earth driller. And as far as audience connection to the cast that is it. The ending is so silly as to deserve the vaunted title of celluloid moronic. Jules Verne would turn over in his grave if he knew of this stinker.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Journey to the center of nothing, August 31, 2008
This review is from: Journey to the Center of the Earth (DVD)
This is probably the worst adaptation of the Jules Verne novel I have ever seen. This film is pathetic, nothing more. Don't waste your money on this horrible film.
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