Customer Reviews

Journey to the Center of the Earth

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

Boy, was this movie an educational experience. I learned:

1) When you assemble a military group to participate in a mission involving teleportation, make sure they're all good looking women in tight tank tops. (Well, tank tops are part of the military wardrobe, aren't they?)

2) When the sound department screws up on the audio to where the background noise muffles the dialogue (in this case, during the "burrowing deep into the earth" scenes), you're probably not missing much when it's Greg Evigan and Dedee Pfeiffer doing the talking.

3) The center of the earth doesn't have much in the way of magma, but rather a seemingly similar environment to, say, a national park in the U.S. Only with dinosaurs, weird plants and giant spiders. Otherwise, an ideal vacation spot.

4) When your soldiers are mistakenly teleported to the center of the earth instead of Germany, always be prepared and have already in your possession machinery capable of going through 600 kilometers worth of crust, magma and the occassional void. Even when this problem was never conceived.

5) When films like this claim to be "based" on, in this case, the Jules Verne classic novel of the same name, they always conveniently leave out the word "loosely" in front of it.

And lastly, a horribly asinine and inept movie can always be forgiven if also providing a compensating amount of unintentional belly laughs. 5/10

One might be excused for thinking that this version of JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH shared an ancestry with Jules Verne. It does not, nor does it claim kinship with any other recognizable film. The plot has been done before but in the James Mason version, one can see a vastly entertaining effort. Even the Brandon Fraser version had its moments. This one starts off badly and goes downhill from there. Greg Evigan is a scientist who drives a bullet shaped earth drilling machine to rescue six attractive female soldiers who were teleported by mistake to an underground world 600 kilometers under the earth's surface--not quite the center of the earth but who's counting. The earth driller was lifted bodily from Edgar Rice Burroughs' AT THE EARTH'S CORE. In Evigan's case, the earth's core looks remarkably like the Rockies. No one bothered to raise the obvious question of why an underground area the size of Montana should resemble the surface in terms of sky, brightness, flora, and fauna. The stranded ladies encounter the expected prehistoric beasts, but their collective appearances are so shoddy that the audience cares little. One of the ladies has issues with another. Evigan has issues with his ex-wife who accompanies him in the earth driller. And as far as audience connection to the cast that is it. The ending is so silly as to deserve the vaunted title of celluloid moronic. Jules Verne would turn over in his grave if he knew of this stinker.

This is probably the worst adaptation of the Jules Verne novel I have ever seen. This film is pathetic, nothing more. Don't waste your money on this horrible film.

First, the Center of the Earth looks a lot like just being out in the woods somewhere. LOL

Second, the Center of the Earth has plenty of blue sky. That is easy to tell because about every two minutes the director makes sure to cut in a shot straight up into the trees. Evidently this "builds tension".

Another favorite camera technique is quick cuts in and out of close up, and then circling the actor/actress in even more jerky quick cuts. Evidently this "builds tension". It also threatened to give me a headache. Yes, I cut out on this loser FAR, FAR before the end.

This movie is split between the people stranded at the center of the earth and the people coming to rescue them. Neither story is compelling. The reasoning behind center of the earth is unexplained --- it just is. No significance is given to any plot point or character, so I was not drawn into the movie.

A group of female soldiers is different, but the script lets the actors down. Similarly, Dedee Pfieffer does not have much of a script to read, so her talents are wasted. Even the monsters are cliched.

The commentary is revealing and honest. If you have watched any Asylum films, then you know that these movies are filmed in a few weeks. This movie had a challenge or two to overcome, and the crew and actors did so. Unfortunately, the commentary more entertaining than the movie.

This movie was a real stinker. Poor acting, poor effects and sad excuse for a storyline. Don't waste your money unless you like pathetic movies!

I see that one of the reviewers rated this as "a good movie (period)." I am convinced that that reviewer was an actor or producer or someone else involved with the film. This isn't a "borderline" film. It's truly bad.

The film starts out with one of those "tough girl" confrontations that makes every guy in the room cringe with "oh come on!" and just gets worse. The lead actor (Greg Evigan, from BJ and the Bear fame apparently) has one of those grimacing looks that seems to be just a way to flash some teeth and model his goatee and 'stache. The "General" (there's always one in these types of movies) sounds like he's reading his lines from a book, and Evigan's no better, except with that painful grimace-smile he has constantly.

The female soldiers are transported to the "center of the earth", which is a grassy field with clouds, and sky, and hills, and of course dinosaurs and waterfalls. Evigan and the Pfeiffer chick who is supposed to be a brilliant scientist (and just happens to be his ex-wife) get there in a drilling thingamajig that she's invented. And they're going after the female soldiers because one of the just happens to be his ex-wife's little sister.

This movie is so unbelievably stupid I can't believe I watched it. Frankly, I did because it's one of those you start laughing at because you always think it reached it's low point, but it just keeps surprising. Like when the ladies run across a little path across a river of lava - a path that's amazingly smooth and surrounded by cartooney lava (excuse me - "cgi" lava). The only saving grace to this thing is that the brainy brunette is hot for some reason, but I don't think she's meant to be. It's just that the ones that are supposed to be hot are such bad actors and their lines so bad and the MOVIE so bad that you keep wishing they'd just die in some interesting way.

This thing is so bad I can't possibly list everything wrong. Saw this on cable. If I had spent a buck on this movie at a rental kiosk, I'd be very VERY mad.

If you failed grade school, this may be for you. STAY AWAY. I would be interested to see who took such a great theme and butch it. Shame on the makers of this movie. 'Seems to be consistent with Asylum films. We rented it, watched about 10-15 minutes, replaced it with I Love Lucy, and asked for our $1.00 back. Though typical for todays rude, and obnoxious movie making, we hope the New Line Home Video version will be better. I gave it one star, only to be able to write this review.

I bought this item thru a distributor in China for 12 bucks...11 more than its worth. At the time I was led to believe it was the new 3D version with Brenden Fraser. I'm in the process of trying to get my money back. Greg Evigan was a better actor in BJ and the Bear. He was the only semi-known actor in the whole movie. The CGI was first year graphics school and the "actors" were film school dropouts...at best! RUN FROM THIS MOVIE..SAVE YOURSELF!!!!

600 km isn't the center of the earth. Also, as far as soldiering goes, the ladies in sexy tanks tops was absolutely unbelievable and by that I mean the Salvation Army could do better in a situation like this. If I were to see a T-Rex running around I would be wondering what other kind of wild animals were out there and I would not put only just ONE soldier on guard duty while everybody else slept. Also, never ever divide your forces like the idiot captain girl did towards the end. The idiot captain also fails to even check her own weapon for ammo. Also how can a knife saw through the exoskeleton of a gigantic spider and being a comic book geek I remember Spiderman was supposed to have the equivalent strength of a human sized spider. Combine these traits and they would have torn through human flesh like a chain saw. And the sisters, I didn't see the resemblance at all. I thought the blondie girl who burst at the end was the sister. Also, no quarantine procedures after witnessing a person explode from the inside from a spider bite, contaminated water, pollen poisoning, eating dinosaur, all of the above? Come on man!!!

Lastly the lead actress Dedee Pfeiffer and the earth drilling machine is nicknamed DEDE (or something close to that)?!? Coincidence or is somebody a little too cozy with the director?

I'm so happy I didn't pay to see this movie. I suggest you do the same. It's not worth it.