Journeys to Self-Acceptance: Fat Women Speak [Paperback]

Carol A. Wiley (Editor)

Editorial Reviews

Review

An unmerciful prejudice exists in this society towards people who are overweight. Unmerciful, because fat is looked upon neither as a disease, which removes the burden of individual blame, nor as one of the many acceptable varieties of the human condition. Instead fat is seen as an aberration for which its owner is responsible and therefore considered less than adequate as a human being. The implication is that if you are fat it is your fault, and if you are such a miserable failure in this aspect of your being, then how can you be competent in anything. Between the pages of this book is a different message, one we should all listen to. It is sent through the words of 24 women who share their experiences, many painful, of being fat, and of how they came to an understanding and acceptance of themselves. Whether or not you have a weight "problem," there is a lesson here for each of us to suspend judgment of others and to take pride in who we are. I hope it opens your eyes as it did mine. -- From The WomanSource Catalog & Review: Tools for Connecting the Community for Women; review by Dena Martsky

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Now that I'm free from the dogma that "thin as can be" is the best body size, I can fit more smoothly into myself. I show my whole truth. I like the person who lives in this body of roundness and softness that I savor. I love the combination of muscle and fat that I see shining in the dance class mirror. I'll probably be better able to take in the changes that come with age because of the struggle I've had to go though to get to this peace. Today my body is young and strong. Soon come that won't be true, and I'll be the woman I am beyond the flesh, wearing a body that fits.

In another way, it is liberating to realize how much our self-concept, even something as seemingly objective as body size, is "socially constructed." What the psyche constructs, it can deconstruct (in Derrida's sense or otherwise) and, most importantly, reconstruct. I know that much of my quest to accept myself as I am is essentially self-brainwashing. I have moments of doubt: What am I doing? What if I'm convincing myself of something totally wrong? Yet it's undeniable that my weight has not continued to rise, and my self-esteem has.

Product Details

• Paperback: 136 pages
• Publisher: Crossing Pr (March 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0895946564
• ISBN-13: 978-0895946560
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,062,133 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Carol Wiley studied martial arts (mostly Tae Kwon Do and Aikido) for almost 20 years. The anthologies "Women in the Martial Arts" and "Martial Arts Teachers on Teaching" are her contribution to the martial arts literature. Carol's background includes eight years as a technical writer/editor and almost 12 years as a Licensed Massage Practitioner. Carol is now a freelance writer offering a variety of services - you can learn more at www.clearconcisewriting.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Community and Culture of Fat People, November 15, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Journeys to Self-Acceptance: Fat Women Speak (Paperback)

Reviewed by Janet Meyers Being fat in our society can be a painful and lonely experience. Even as you learn to love yourself, the sense of isolation from a society that says you don't fit in can be profound. Anthropologist Margaret Mackenzie states that "those who come to self acceptance are those who can stand outside the culture," that in order to feel good about yourself when you don't conform to society's norms, you must reject those norms and establish your own. This is a wildly exhilarating and liberating thing to do but it can also feel very lonely. Unless, of course, you have your own community and an alternative culture: a network of friends and allies, as well as art and literature that supports your view of the world. I recently added a book to my library that goes far in adding to the community and culture of fat people. Journeys to Self-Acceptance: Fat Women Speak is a compilation of essays from fat women who were able to stand outside the culture, redefine themselves and reclaim their lives. This beautiful book made me laugh and cry as I saw fragments of my own experience appear in 24 separate life stories. How validating and powerful to hear my thoughts and beliefs come from strangers' mouths. And more than once a giant light bulb went off in my head as I gained a new insight. These wise women confirmed my belief that we in NAAFA are on the crest of an ever growing wave of size acceptance. What a wonderful feeling! The following quote is from one of my favorite essays - "Celebrating the Outlaw Within, or Ride'em Fatgirl" by Debra Derr. "Criminality alone doesn't make an outlaw. What makes an outlaw is the cavalier disregard of others' expectations. What makes an outlaw is a steadfast refusal to live within the narrow confines of society. (Perhaps criminality is the unimaginative, immature response to those confines.) Most of all, what makes an outlaw is his or her willingness to be different. "Every time I demand respect, every time I insist on my basic rights, I celebrate the outlaw within me. Watching the shock register on the face of some bully who thought he could demean the fatgirl thrills me to the marrow. Refusing to be stereotyped as worthless validates my innate sense of self worth. My inner outlaw is vindicated whenever I won't live down to someone else's expectations of me." In addition to the 24 essays, editor Carol Wiley's introduction succinctly presents current information about being fat and about diets. She address the myths and stereotypes head-on and does an admirable job in debunking them. She also includes a comprehensive bibliography and list of resources. This book is appropriate for the person just approaching the idea of size acceptance as well as a veteran of the movement. With its excellent introduction and bibliography it is also a great resource to share with people you want to educate about size acceptance: friends, family, co-workers and health careproviders. Having said that, I must issue one caution. The idea of self-acceptance bringing true happiness can be as seductive as the promise of true happiness through weight loss. And while it is much, much closer to the truth as I know it, we cannot forget that many fat people face obstacles that can be overcome only through societal change (inadequate public accommodations, inferior health care, or unfair hiring practices). So as we each take our separate journeys we must remember that we are not alone and that together we have the power to make those changes happen. In the end, the "journey to self-acceptance" is unquestionably a trip worth taking and a book worth reading.