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Journeys to Self-Acceptance: Fat Women Speak

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Reviewed by Janet Meyers Being fat in our society can be a painful and lonely experience. Even as you learn to love yourself, the sense of isolation from a society that says you don't fit in can be profound. Anthropologist Margaret Mackenzie states that "those who come to self acceptance are those who can stand outside the culture," that in order to feel good about yourself when you don't conform to society's norms, you must reject those norms and establish your own. This is a wildly exhilarating and liberating thing to do but it can also feel very lonely. Unless, of course, you have your own community and an alternative culture: a network of friends and allies, as well as art and literature that supports your view of the world. I recently added a book to my library that goes far in adding to the community and culture of fat people. Journeys to Self-Acceptance: Fat Women Speak is a compilation of essays from fat women who were able to stand outside the culture, redefine themselves and reclaim their lives. This beautiful book made me laugh and cry as I saw fragments of my own experience appear in 24 separate life stories. How validating and powerful to hear my thoughts and beliefs come from strangers' mouths. And more than once a giant light bulb went off in my head as I gained a new insight. These wise women confirmed my belief that we in NAAFA are on the crest of an ever growing wave of size acceptance. What a wonderful feeling! The following quote is from one of my favorite essays - "Celebrating the Outlaw Within, or Ride'em Fatgirl" by Debra Derr. "Criminality alone doesn't make an outlaw. What makes an outlaw is the cavalier disregard of others' expectations. What makes an outlaw is a steadfast refusal to live within the narrow confines of society. (Perhaps criminality is the unimaginative, immature response to those confines.) Most of all, what makes an outlaw is his or her willingness to be different. "Every time I demand respect, every time I insist on my basic rights, I celebrate the outlaw within me. Watching the shock register on the face of some bully who thought he could demean the fatgirl thrills me to the marrow. Refusing to be stereotyped as worthless validates my innate sense of self worth. My inner outlaw is vindicated whenever I won't live down to someone else's expectations of me." In addition to the 24 essays, editor Carol Wiley's introduction succinctly presents current information about being fat and about diets. She address the myths and stereotypes head-on and does an admirable job in debunking them. She also includes a comprehensive bibliography and list of resources. This book is appropriate for the person just approaching the idea of size acceptance as well as a veteran of the movement. With its excellent introduction and bibliography it is also a great resource to share with people you want to educate about size acceptance: friends, family, co-workers and health careproviders. Having said that, I must issue one caution. The idea of self-acceptance bringing true happiness can be as seductive as the promise of true happiness through weight loss. And while it is much, much closer to the truth as I know it, we cannot forget that many fat people face obstacles that can be overcome only through societal change (inadequate public accommodations, inferior health care, or unfair hiring practices). So as we each take our separate journeys we must remember that we are not alone and that together we have the power to make those changes happen. In the end, the "journey to self-acceptance" is unquestionably a trip worth taking and a book worth reading.