Customer Reviews

The Joys of Much Too Much: Go for the Big Life--The Great Career, The Perfect Guy, and Everything Else You've Ever Wanted

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

Bonnie Fuller's book "The Joys of Much Too Much" started out on a great note. Forget about trying to analyze your busy life or feel guilty about not simplifying but, instead, go for it all and have no regrets. I admit that's how I ran my life with four children and a full-time job but I had no choice. I was a single parent receiving no child support or alimony. I did what I had to do to support my children and provide as enriching, supportive, unconditionally loving home for them as possible while, at the same time, encouraging them to embrace their education and find a career they would have a passion about. I even had a child with life-threatening cancer, as Ms. Fuller did. I am fortunate, after an early bad experience, to have a job I love and that challenges me every day but I am fully aware that this is not true for the majority of working mothers who are grateful to just have a paycheck. But, even given all that, my life was serene and boring compared to Bonnie Fuller's and, knowing what I experienced, I cannot relate to Ms. Fuller's life nor can I recommend that others try to emulate her because they are certain to fall short, very short.

Personally, I thrive in chaos and love the noise and bedlam of growing children. I do my best work, at home and at the office, when deadlines are looming and time is short; it helps me focus on the important things. My housekeeping extends only to the level of "just barely presentable" because that's what works for me and what makes me find comfort in my home. But I know many many people who cannot tolerate that kind of life. Individuals are necessarily quirky and people have to adjust to what they need to function best. For some, that may well be the overextended filled-to-the-brim hectic life; for others, it may be a much more pared down and simplistic one. In the end, however, women know what they need to perform and they don't need a narcissistic perfect woman with a perfect life to give them permission to live as they have to.

But the most egregious fault of Ms. Fuller's account of her impeccable life and her belief that we can all have that same perfect life if we just go for it all is that few of us have nearly the resources she does. Few of us make the money she does; few of us have the wherewithal to spend an hour at the gym every morning while our fairytale husbands feed and dress the children; few of us have the luxury of having taxis ferry us to work so we can use that "free" time to put on our make-up; few of us have her flawless children who apparently never get into trouble, never have extracurricular activities that require being in four different places at one time, never need a ride to friends' homes nor time alone with Mom to talk; and I don't know a single person who has the desire to cook and sit down to a full dinner at 10:30 or 11:00 at night "after the children are asleep". The reality is that a majority of us working mothers do not have such flawless husbands or are single and receive little or no financial or emotional support from the fathers of our children. Ms. Fuller's life and circumstances are unique to her and to her alone. She is not everywoman.

What are also glaringly absent in Ms. Fuller's account is a housekeeper, a nanny, and a babysitter. She states that until her younger daughter got leukemia 2 years ago, her husband also worked full-time and that "one of them always tried to get home by 7:00 pm". Does she mean for us to believe her children were unattended from after-school until a parent got home? Did they never have sports practices, ballet or music lessons to get to? Did they never have to be picked up after school? Were they left to their own devices on non-school days? What about the summers? Who cleaned her house and did the laundry and bought the food and other household essentials? Who shopped for the children's clothes and school supplies? Who attended the school plays and recitals? Who stayed home to wait for tardy repair and delivery people? Who mowed the lawn? Who helped the children with homework questions or took them to museums or the movies or the park? The omission of these essential childcare and home responsibilities from her account leave the reader with only two conclusions: Ms. Fuller is really two people, one who stays home to manage her personal realm and one who is the most successful magazine editor-in-chief ever. Or this book is essentially fiction.

Says Bonnie Fuller. Her advice is kiss your boss's behind, and you will receive promotions and raises (i.e., have no scruples to "get ahead" - scruples are never considered or even mentioned). If you are pregnant, always say you feel "great" even if you're dying, because that's what she did, at look at her now. Do not worry about your life outside work, your spiritual life, what you are really meant to do in this world. Just push your way around in the workplace, gather a crew of like-minded co-workers, and the pie is yours for the taking! Because hey, she took it, so can you!

Years ago, I used to always read Cosmopolitan, then I noticed it wasn't the same magazine it used to be. It used to have a really good fiction section, real experience articles, a good medical column, plus cutely written articles about makeovers, wardrobe, etc. Then it changed. No fiction, no real experience articles, but lots of in-your-face stuff about sex, somehow worked into every article. The women writing and written about were nasty and mean-spirited. It was depressing and discouraging to me as a human being. Then I noticed it was Bonnie Fuller at the helm, making her much vaunted (by her) changes. I decided to no longer waste my money on this trash, even in hopes someone would wake up and go back to the old format. Star I also used to read, as pure escapism. Now it's nothing but advertising for makeup, clothes, pictures of celebrities, and hardly any articles. There are plenty of fashion magazines already, without ruining my escapist pleasure, don't you think? I do, so, no money for Star from me anymore.

The book is a bragfest by Ms. Fuller of all the changes she wrought in whatever magazine she hopped to next. All for the best, claims she, and anyone who naysayed her, Ms. Fuller axed (which she claims she didn't enjoy, but she had to be true to her "vision"). She kept the ones who told her whatever she wanted to hear, and that's what you, as a career woman, should do as well. There's also a chapter containing a long list of what you should keep handy in your office in case of an emergency - no, not flashlights or batteries: pantyhose, a black top, a spare purse, a thong, and feminine hygiene supplies to name but a few.

It appears this book was quickly written (with large print and lots of extra space between the lines) for a quick buck. But I read it at the bookstore (didn't take long), so no dollars for you, Fuller.

This book represents one of the things that is wrong with publishing -- a person gets a book deal because she has a "platform" and can pepper her back cover with quotes from her important cronies (Donald Trump, Bobbi Brown, etc). But Ms. Fuller's self-help book reads like a tedious, name-dropping memoir. She goes on to list the people that gave her breaks over the course of her career (I'm surprised the book didn't have an index of names!)

This is a trite read that has a certain "Let them eat cake!" attitude toward the average working mother. When Ms. Fuller talks about having 4 kids over the course of her stellar magazine career, she remarks proudly that she didn't slow down a bit, and that she returned to work a few weeks after the births of her babies, as she was able to set up a crib at the office. Her advice is, "Whatever works for you!" But Ms. Fuller has seemed to have forgotten, in her ivory Manhattan magazine tower, that most women are not able to do this. What's more, I think that most parenting experts (Ms. Fuller does not have that credential) would say that what babies really need during the first few months of life is to bond with their mothers--to have uninterrupted time to develop this all-important relationship. If Ms. Fuller really wants to champion the cause of working mothers, she should use her mouthpiece (and her influential friends) to fight for longer maternity leaves.

In the meantime, my advice would be to save your $25.00 and go for a slower, simpler, and saner lifestyle--the very opposite of what this book celebrates.

Okay. I came to this site because it was a link from NRP's website.
I read the reviews. Tell me again, why I would want to read a book about a woman who thinks she's livin' the dream, but in reality it's a nightmare. Having it all, wow, what a novel concept. Unless you've been living in a cave, the people who seem to have had it all are imploding with a nauseating regularity. They end up in rehab or dead.
The comments about the author making sure she or her husband were home by 7p.m. to be with their very ill daughter were pretty revolting. Wow, what a sacrifice. I guess you had the driver take her to chemo, huh? Even if the book has other funny spots, I don't feel that it would ever rise beyond the bad taste in my mouth from that little tidbit of information.

What can I say? The book seemed really intriguing from the cover. Two pages in, I was becoming increasingly irritated that this book seemed like nothing more than an outlet for her ego. She mentions SEVERAL times by page 3 that she's brought a few magazines to the top, has a bunch of kids, etc.

Personally, I would have preferred it if she had considered her target audience. Mentioning how successful she is in a way that makes it sound condescending does not really help her readers; it seems more like she's rubbing it in their faces.

On another note, did she consider personality types? I personally don't want to be away from home for 16+ hours a day. She didn't seem to consider mentioning how to become successful while still having a life outside of work.

For a woman who claims to have it all, I doubt she has time for a bubble bath.

I'd prefer to read Sports Illustrated. I hate sports, by the way.

I have been a big fan of editor-in-chief Bonnie Fuller since picking up a copy of YM at the age of 10. She's talented and at the time understood what her target market wants in terms of magazine format. Sure, many of Bonnie's magazines have a lot of superficiality but she compensates that with various articles with depth and heart. Therefore, when I picked up a copy of this book, I expected more depth with this 'how to guide' to much too much. Unfortunately, Bonnie falls flat.

I admire how Bonnie picks herself up during tragic times and move on and grow. Yes, Bonnie did achieve self maximization with a career, family, and interest. However, her consistent drive to have children at an elder age (which created children with many health consequences), career (which she manipulates her assistants and staff and endangers her own child by working on the day of her child's birth) and success (sure you have a million dollar contract but your Husband misses you!) seems very selfish and not "joyful." Indeed, her life is much too much. To an regular person, simplicity and contentment is joyful enough.

Bonnie Fuller provides some good basic advice that should not be forgotten:

1) Never talk about your personal life at work

2) Don't whine to your boss about your health problems

3) If you are pregnant, say everything is fine and don't discuss your morning sickness

4) The importance of networking to get your next job.

5) Good shoes are important as well as your overall appearance

6) Don't date a guy who won't commit or you are wasting your time.

Among the totally exaggerated are:

1) Negotiate to bring your baby and nanny along for biz trips: eh, unless you're a big shot CEO, I doubt any employer would pay for that.

2) Bringing your newborn to the office: I work in an open environment where the President has an open office desk. I think the closed door word environment has decreased so how can you bring your crying baby?

3) Bonnie is a millionaire, I'm not. She can go to the gym and then taxi to work. I have to take the subway + streetcar. Not everyone can afford the luxury of a cab.

Overall, this is a fun read and I would recommend to anyone.

She thinks we are morons writing in that chipper "I'm always happy, never hurts, I'm a twinky" voice. I mean really? Who cares about all the jibberish she spews out about being the perfect peon in life! It would have been soooo much more interesting if she had actually written a real biography of her life and success and rise in the field. What does she have to hide? Too bad... cause this book stinks.

Her advice was trite indicating more a lack of life experience than malevolence. Even so, this book was all about promoting herself and rationalizing her own life, and not about what the title sells it to be. I think the real audience for this book are women who have too full lives and are looking for some little piece of validation...you won't get it from this book. It falls flat of it's promise.

In response to the last reviewer- there actually WAS an index of names. Fuller does spend a lot of time name dropping and very little time offering actual advice. I found myself skimming the second half of this boring book.

That being said, Bonnie Fuller has done wonderful things for women's magazines. I loved Glamour before she took over and adored it even more after her innovative changes. I had read YM when she had creative control there and made it a truly wonderful teen magazine back in the early 90s.

I had hoped for the fun, yet preactical, advice of my favorite magazine column- The Glamour List or something similar. This book failed to offer any real or useful ideas. Bonnie tells us what she did etc, but this lacks any substance.