Customer Reviews

Joys and Sorrows of Living with Adult Autism

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Big Bertha Evans sheds a new light on autism in this book about her husband, Brian. It is written in simple terms - I got the distinct impression Big Bertha is one of those people who writes precisely as she speaks. Thanks to the photo on the back of the book, I had a good mental image of the author, and could imagine her simply sitting at my kitchen table with a cup of coffee, pouring out her heart regarding the ups and downs of life with the husband she so obviously adores.

Many people are familiar with autism only at its lowest functioning level, if at all. There are, however, autistic people who carry on somewhat normal lives - holding down jobs, having families, and appearing at first glance to be healthy adults. They are "high-functioning" autistics. Only upon close interaction with the individual is it obvious that they have a problem.

Such is the case with Brian Evans. He looks normal. He's intelligent. He has a wife, and until a physical disability prevented it, he attempted to hold down a job - several of them - even though learning new things was difficult and frustrating for him.

He has an extreme intolerance for pain, and Bertha's accounts of his experiences with nurses and doctors who did not understand what they were dealing with is heartbreaking. Brian needs the same assurance a child would when undergoing any kind of medical procedure, in particular anything requiring a needle. While it doesn't come naturally for medical personnel to extend the same empathy to a big, apparently strong and healthy man that they would to a little boy, that is exactly what Brian requires. In many ways, he has the mind of a very small child. His deep-seated need for someone to hold his hand, stroke his head and/or give him a hug has caused the couple many problems, especially where female medical personnel are concerned.

Joys and Sorrows of Living with Adult Autism is an eye-opener; a tear-jerker; a heartbreaker. Yet it is a sweet account of two people who love each other, and enjoy life. From camping trips to walking trails, from shopping at free stores and dollar stores to decorating for Christmas year round, Bertha and Brian's lives manifest their devotion to one another and to God.

No one, having read this book, will ever again look at autism in the same way.

Bertha Evans' Joys and Sorrows of Living with Adult Autism made me realize how much of life's everyday gifts that we take for granted. Bertha and her husband Brian have a big heart for making life pleasurable for themselves despite the deprivations they have been handed by nature and circumstances. Brian's early encounters with the girls and boys that badly teased him would ring a bell to most men in terms of their early growing up periods - except that in Brian's case, these were directed to someone who is autistic. It is really sad to read about the unpleasant treatments that Brian received from some of the nurses - the nurses who were unsympathetic to his fear of needles. It takes someone who has a nurse as a relative to full appreciate the part that TLC (tender loving care) plays in helping patients cope with their ordeals.
All in all, I found this book very fascinating. I gave it 5 stars for a story very well told and I highly recommend it as a story that the world needs to hear about - especially for those who think they have had it all bad in life.
Jim Ojiaku

Surviving the Iron Curtain: A Microscopic View of What Life Was Like Inside a War-Torn Region

You will be instantly drawn into this heartwarming story by Big Bertha Evans about her life with her husband, Brian. It has opened my eyes to how special an autistic person is and how they need to be treated. The love and faith experienced by this special couple is inspiring, in spite of all the problems they each have faced in their lives. Everyone can benefit from reading this book, and especially all nurses and those in medical school should read it to help them understand the best way to relate to an autistic person. It can make a tremendous difference in that person's life when shown love, gentleness and compassion, as one would give to a small child. You will feel so much sadness for Brian in his mistreatment by those who don't understand, and also great joy in those who do take the time to care for him with empathy, especially his loving wife. This is a story you won't want to miss reading.

Review: Joys and Sorrows of Living with Adult Autism
by Big Bertha Evans
Published by PublishAmerica

Big Bertha Evans approaches life and her writing with much joy and enthusiam. She is quick to offer praises for the blessings that have shone through her difficult life, and her faith shines throughout her first published book. She tells a fascinating true story about two very unique individuals who are able to love and support the other in ways that
perfectly meet their needs.

Big Bertha writes in a casual and conversational manner that expresses her character and bountiful spirit. Some parts of this book were wonderfully touching and enthralling. The couple's courtship, their adjustment to married life, and the hiking adventures were all well-told. Big Bertha has a gift for making a simple tale draw the reader in in those cases.

There is a lack of books on the market about the daily life of autistic adults. This book offers one perspective that may interest those curious about the subject.

After reading this incredibly heartwarming story of Bertha and Brian, I have come to the conclusion that Brian is most definitely a gift to the world. Their story, at times, will make you angry at the misunderstandings that our world has of people with Autism, and will make you smile at the sweet things that this wonderful, God-fearing couple will do for each other. It was truly a blessing to read this book, and I will most definitely recommend this book to anyone that I come in contact with. Bertha and Brian, may God continue to bless you in every way possible! Big, huge hugs, Brian!

Inspirational and heartwarming, this book was like reading a private journal. As a person with a nursing background, I found Ms. Evans book very educational on a subject not many know much about. It's a sad thing that empathy is so often in short supply in our modern society. Knowing little or nothing about dealing with people with Adult Autism or any other disorder is no excuse for having a lack of empathy for the patients you are charged with caring for. Ms. Evans demonstrates this by showing the cruelty dealt her husband by those in the medical profession, as well as the warm and loving care given by others. The author gives an inside look at both the frustration and joys of living and loving a person with Adult Autism. Her husband, Brian is a gentle, loving soul and in reading this book, I could feel the author's love for him in every word. I especially enjoyed the photos and loved Brian's painting of "Granny's House." I recommend this book for anyone wanting to know more about Adult Autism and for anyone in the medical field.

"Joys and Sorrows of Adult Autism" gives some informative information about the daily lives of two people who are caught in the midst of trying to live normal lives, while at the same time dealing with autism. Bertha has tried to explain some of the short comings her husband Brian has to deal with daily in a one-on-one basis with people who do not understand his autism. The fears are real, as are the anxieties and frustrations of how other people view him, or treat him as a person with a disability. Bertha has done a good job of showing some of the indifferent attitudes that other people have shown towards her husband because they didn't understand the disabilty, and quite frankly didn't seem to want to know more about it. Brian seems to have found the one person to have in his life who not only tries to understand him in every way, but also wants to try and protect him from the negative attitudes of those who do not understand his disabilities. We should all be so lucky!

This book is a very heartwarming and touching story of love and devotion. It makes you see a side of adult autism you hadn't previously thought about. I found the book to be very informative and inspiring. Keep up the good work, Bertha!!

Big Bertha Evans is aptly called Big Bertha because of her big heart. After a traumatic divorce and an accident, she swears off men until she meets Brian. They have a record -short courtship of only 4 days before Brian proposed to her. Big Bertha and Brian got married on December 22, 2000.

The writing is simple, clear and direct. One gets the feeling that Big Bertha is writing for Brian's benefit in terms that are direct and logical. Brian, who has autism tends to take things literally and often lets his emotions rule in social settings. For example, he hugged each one of the nurses who treated him for cystitis. To their credit, the nurses responded in kind.

It is heartwarming to see the growing body of literature about adults who have autism. Big Bertha's book is a most welcome addition to the growing pantheon of autism literature.

I like the way Big Bertha describes Brian's behavior and how autism has had an impact, both positive and negative on his life. Many people with milder forms of autism including Asperger's Syndrome marry, are employed and can, to a certain extent pass for neurotypical (NT). Brian appears to fall somewhere along the middle of the autism/Asperger's spectrum. His interpretations of human interactions and his boylike sponteneity during occasions that call for a more subdued response paint the picture of a person who has autism.

Brian soldiers on. He is obviously a bright man and has been blessed with a loving wife and has held down jobs. Like Big Bertha, he has survived an accident. Navigating along social terrain is difficult and confusing for him. His high sensitivity to pain make physical exams all the more traumatic, especially the ones his urology team ran.

Brian understandably found the urological examinations traumatic and painful and his verbalizations were not too different from those of a child. Big Bertha was able to reassure Brian much as one would a child and until they found the right doctor and medical team, was the only one who could accomplish this.

This is a box of Kleenex book. The thought of these two gentle souls who found each other and who daily praise the Grace of God will make readers feel as if they are soaring on Eagles' Wings. In fact, George Harrison's classic "Love Comes to Everyone" and the hymn "On Eagles' Wings" could easily be the soundtrack of this book. Big Bertha and Brian walk many happy trails on camping trips and shopping sprees. Theirs is a commitment to God and to each other.

The author, Big Bertha Evans, claims in this book that she is not a writer, and it shows--you will not find the most beautifully composed language in "Joys and Sorrows." But the simple, straightforward narration can be refreshing. More importantly, the author gives an intimate account of what it's like to deal with adult autism everyday. The book's content is something many people can learn from.