Just A Mom (An Advocate Book) [Hardcover]

Betty Degeneres (Author)

Book Description

Series: An Advocate Book | Publication Date: November 1, 2000

In her first book, Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey, Betty DeGeneres revealed the struggles of her own life and those of her famous daughter, TV and film actor Ellen DeGeneres. While most people knew the all-too-public saga of Ellen's professional and private coming-out odyssey, many did not know the hardship and triumphs that Betty went through trying to be the best possible mom to her daughter during what turned out to be one of the most historic events in gay and lesbian history. The lessons learned from that journey sent Betty into a whole new chapter of her own life. After Ellen came out, Betty became the official spokeswoman for the Human Rights Campaign (the first non-gay person to assume this position). Today she continues traveling the country far and wide in that role, talking to gay men and lesbians and their families and friends about the fear, rejection, abandonment, love, and acceptance they've experienced. At the end of Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey, Betty invited readers to send letters and communications to her with questions and stories about their own battles as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, or straight human beings caught up in the fight for equal rights. The response was overwhelming. It frightened her. What could she possibly bring to all these moving, heroic, tragic, funny tales? After the initial shock subsided, Betty realized the answer: She could give of herself. After all, that's what she'd been doing for years. For Ellen, for Anne Heche, for her son Vance, for the thousands of people she'd met on the road. To all of them she's simply offered what she knows best: her own supportive, kind, nurturing, strong life experiences and ever-evolving understanding as Just a Mom.

Betty DeGeneres is the author of Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journeyand mother of comedian Ellen DeGeneres. She is currently the spokesperson for the HRC Coming Out Project and an active member of PFLAG. She now lends her expertise to PlanetOut as an advice columnist on issues of coming out and acceptance.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

To her surprise, Betty DeGeneres, once a quiet housewife and mother, has become a gentle, consistent, and rational voice in the gay liberation movement. In Just a Mom, she speaks for all the ordinary Americans whose children have turned out "different" and whose first concern is that they will suffer pain and rejection in life. It is natural, DeGeneres points out, to harbor some disappointment or anger at a gay child, and she guides parents toward appropriate resources and organizations, like the Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). With warmth and conviction, DeGeneres expands on her memoir Love, Ellen to address some of the questions she has been asked as a spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign, such as "Did I make my child gay?" and "How can I protect my child?" She makes some practical suggestions on how to handle homophobia and threats at school, and how to help build self-esteem in a child whose peers may ridicule him. And she argues on the enormous personal and societal benefits of coming out of the closet. But this is not so much a practical guide to keeping a child safe or combating hatred as a simple, homey, and reassuring recitation of what we all know--or should know: good parenting means unconditional love and support. --Regina Marler

From Publishers Weekly

At the end of her first book (Love, Ellen: A Mother/Daughter Journey), the mother of comedian Ellen DeGeneres invited readers to send her questions, comments and letters. This much slimmer volume collects that correspondence and offers DeGeneres senior, the spokeswoman for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming-Out Day Project, a chance to issue nurturing, practical advice and affirmations, and to gently dismantle myths, stereotypes and fears. Never at a loss for a book to recommend, a Web site to visit or an organization to join, DeGeneres is for many gay people an ideal mother. But parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered individuals will probably benefit most from her "straight talk" on coming out, antigay legislation, homophobia, teen suicides and "real" family values. As a peer, DeGeneres is able to address issues, concerns and questions that parents face when their children come out. But DeGeneres is not all soft sound bites. Comparing discrimination now to 22 years ago, when her comedian/actress daughter came out to her, she finds that "today the prejudice is meaner, nastierDa vindictiveness rooted in hatred, not ignorance. It's hard to believe that most of this homophobic venom emanates from churches." The book's chatty style and loose structure makes for easy digestion in short intervals, although some readers may be miffed by the now outdated references to Ellen's former partner, Anne Heche. (N0v.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 188 pages
• Publisher: Alyson Books (November 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1555836135
• ISBN-13: 978-1555836139
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,170,726 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book filled with excellent advice, October 11, 2001

By 

Bonnie Shimko (Plattsburgh, NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Just a Mom (Paperback)

"Just a Mom" was a tremendous help to me when I was struggling to overcome my ignorance about my daughter's homosexuality. I highly recommend it to anyone who has a gay loved one.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Definitely More Than "Just A Mom", November 5, 2000

By 

Stephanie Preston (Orlando, FL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Just A Mom (An Advocate Book) (Hardcover)

For any gay child, reading more from Betty DeGeneres confirms that we want to adopt her as our own Mom. More personal disclosure than her first effort. The unfortunate breakup between Ellen and Anne makes the timing of this release a bit awkward though. For any parent who is struggling to deal with their child's sexual orientation, this is a must-read book.

3.0 out of 5 stars A good book for parents dealing with gay children., February 5, 2009

By 

Marni L. Lange - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Just a Mom (Paperback)

Easy to read. Not too long. Good for parents who are struggling with a gay child.