Customer Reviews

Just Don't Marry One: Interracial Dating, Marriage, and Parenting

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book is not a full account of inter-racial love. Rather this book is only for white women who love black men, which makes it a very slanted account. Probably it is a good resource for this specific circumstance. Unfortunately this book does not examine all the white men who date black women or Mexican women. In these circumstances the children are not as affected by stigma and do not have the same issues of children of white women and black men. Thus this book didn't help answer my questions and probably wont help any men with their issues surrounding inter-racial dating.

Seth J. Frantzman

This should be a required read for counselors, pastors, and persons considering interracial marriage, as well as their families. It will serve to explode myths, help both biological and adoptive parents, and heal racial divisions.

I liked this book because reading it was like seeing my life on paper. Although having your "mail read" can be an uncomfortable experience--the book raised issues I'd rather forget, or not deal with at all--the confrontation was necessary. Never have I had my frustrations more clearly articulated, my wounds so carefully bound, or my prejudices so carefully confronted and corrected. I laughed out loud while being given excellent advice on how to respond to the curious, and I wept with a Native American brother as his layers of anger were peeled away...I appreciated the authors just calling prejudice what it is so that we all can DEAL with it, and move on to live more meaningful lives.

I have "my" copy and my "loan" copy because this book will serve as an important resource to help me answer my children's questions as well as the questions of those in our circle of influence. I consider it to be one of the most useful additions to my personal library.

This is a great collection of essays from various people with all different points of view on interracial relationships. They all have one thing in common, which is a Biblical, Christian perspective. It focuses more on strictly interracial relationships, rather than general intercultural ones. It includes historical information, personal stories, and stories of interracial couples in the Bible.

*****
An addition to my original review. This book is not only for black man/white woman relationships, as the picture on the cover shows. The authors come from a variety of ethnicities, and write about their own experiences. Most of them are Americans and married to Americans, but their differing cultures still affect their relationship.

George and Sherelyn Yancey - the editors, also each the author of a chapter. He is an African American, she is a European American

Craig S. Keener - a European American married to a woman from the Congo

A. Charles Ware - an African American married to a European American

Ken Ham - a biologist writing not about inter-cultural marriage but about all people being related through Adam

Sundee Tucker Frazier - a biracial woman, providing the perspective of the children of mixed marriages (African American father, European American mother)

David Tatlock - a European American married to an African American

Art and Debbie Lucero - a triracial Mexican man (with European, African, and Native American ancestors) and a biracial American woman (European American father and Japanese American mother)

Randy Woodley - biracial (European American and Native American) married to a biracial woman (also European/Native American)

Bob and Jean Chin - Chinese American man and European American woman

Olga Soler - multiracial American woman (Taino Indian, Sephardic Jew, African, French, Moor) giving advice to European Americans who would want to marry a multiracial person

Michael and Joni Emerson - both European Americans discussing the topic "What if Our Children Date Interracially?"

Fred Prinzing - a European American man whose son married an African American

Deborah Johnson - an Asian American married to an African American

As other reviewers have said, this book is written from a Christian perspective, and therefore, if you aren't Christian, you can skip the first half. For those of us who are Christians, the first half does a good job pointing out that the Bible does not have anything against interracial dating (Ruth and Boaz were an interracial couple). Also helps deal with Christian family members against your relationship, especially parents; goes fairly in-depth into the issue of "Honor thy Father and Mother" (haven't we all heard THAT one.) That being said I highly recommend the second half to anyone. It was thought provoking, funny at times, and really good to hear from people that will have the same racial identity as my children will some day. I highly recommend this book.

After reading a recent book on intercultural marriage, I found myself longing for `deeper mentors' who weren't just addressing introductory issues to an interracial or intercultural marriage, but the long term questions of life together. I read the first section of the book, "Foundations for Christian Leaders" years ago, and while I found examinations of biblical foundations, counseling tips, racial misconceptions, and historical examinations of interracial marriages helpful, it only spoke to my mind, not my soul, so I put it down and just picked it up again last week. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that section 2 "Support for interracial couples and multiracial families" addressed much of what I'd been looking for.

In this section, a variety of well-seasoned veterans speak to issues multiracial individuals and interracial couples face. With wisdom, graciousness, and honesty, they openly discuss biracial children, family issues, combining cultures, and racial reconciliation. The authors in this section all do an excellent job of examining the many questions that arise with interracial and inter-cultural relationships. While the book focuses primarily on interracial relationships, I interchange this term with inter-cultural b/c it also address this dynamic as well. Clearly, the most thorough experience covered is black-white marriage, but I found much that translated to our experience even though we're not a black-white couple.

An appendix includes a thorough list of websites, books, support groups, organizations, and research articles for multiracial individuals and families.

"Just Don't Marry One" is a courageous book. It combines professional insight with personal testimony to affirm interracial relationships and to create a reference work to equip professionals. It can serve as a primer for couples and for pastors, counselors, and spiritual friends.

Reviewer: Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., is the author of Beyond the Suffering: Embracing the Legacy of African American Soul Care and Spiritual Direction , Soul Physicians, Spiritual Friends.

Just Don't Marry One is also about transracial adoptions and biracials. This book claims the lighter the skin color the higher the price of female slaves. That's false skilled female slaves were worth the most. What wasn't mentioned in the book is reverse colorism (hatred of light skin biracials/blacks). I'm a light skin black and I had lived in Philadelphia (ninth-poorest U.S.city,black majority)for many years. There's a lot of reverse colorism in Philly. In Philly many dark skin black young adults don't date light skin biracials/blacks. Sometimes brown skin blacks date them. I have lived in cities that weren't like this. There are few light skin biracial/black and dark skin black young adult couples in Philly.

This is a very helpful book for anyone involved in or considering interracial dating from a Christian perspective. There are several essays from different points of view.

This book is not so much about interracial relationships as Christian prejudices, doctrine and rhetoric. Not interesting to non-Christians. Also, the topic of interracial marriage is only a "charged" issue if you are in fact from a prejudiced background, religion, culture, or area (and not everyone is).

Very good book for interracial dating advice by the way if your looking for an interracial relationship your may want to try Matchinterracial or some of the other sites that cater to interracial dating