Just Kidding [Hardcover]

Trudy Ludwig (Author), Adam Gustavson (Illustrator)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2006 | Age Level: 8 and up | Grade Level: 3 and up

A rare look at emotional bullying among boys from the best-selling author of My Secret Bully.D.J.'s friend Vince has a habit of teasing D.J. and then saying, Just kidding!" as if it will make everything okay. It doesn't, but D.J. is afraid that if he protests, his friends will think he can't take a joke. With the help of his father, brother, and an understanding teacher, D.J. progresses from feeling helpless to taking positive action, undermining the power of two seemingly harmless words. Trudy Ludwig takes another look at relational aggression, the use of relationships to manipulate and hurt others, this time from the boy's point of view.Back matter includes discussion questions, a "dos and don'ts of teasing" list, and a resource guide for parents and teachers.Endorsed by Full Esteem Ahead, The Hands & Words Are Not For Hurting Project, and The Ophelia Project.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Grade 1-5–This companion to My Secret Bully (Tricycle, 2005) addresses the topic of teasing. D.J. is tired of Vince's mean-spirited comments at school. Vince knows which buttons to push, using the I was just kidding defense when he goes too far. Unsure how to handle the situation, D.J. talks with his father and his teacher and learns a few strategies to help him deal with putdowns. Most importantly, he realizes that he isn't the problem and that he hasn't done anything to deserve Vince's taunts. This frank and plausible story will help youngsters to distinguish between good-natured teasing and the destructive variety, empowering them by providing options they can use when faced with bullying. Realistic acrylic paintings beautifully capture the text's mood and action. Gustavson is adept at revealing the subtle emotions of his characters, and both D.J. and Vince will strike a familiar chord with readers. A foreword by a bullying-prevention consultant outlines four points that educators and parents need to impart to victims of this behavior. Also provided are conversation starters for further discussion, a list of pertinent organizations and Web sites, and suggested reading for both adults and children. This useful resource is an important addition to school and public libraries.–Carol L. MacKay, Forestburg School Library, Alberta, Canada
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

K-Gr. 3. Waiting to be chosen for a pickup game of basketball, D. J. hears Vince challenge Cody to a game of Rock Paper Scissors: "Loser gets D. J." It's not the first time Vince has crossed the line, but D. J. can't figure out how to respond. With a helpful suggestion from his dad and support from a teacher, D. J. begins to handle his problem. The story offers a realistic portrayal of a bully who uses words in hurtful ways but avoids punishment. It also offers hope that children can break the pattern, at least if the adults around them are aware of the problem, competent to deal with it, and supportive of the children involved. The book concludes with a list of "Teasing Dos and Don'ts" for kids. In addition, a detailed foreword offers suggestions to parents and teachers trying to help children in this situation. The well-composed illustrations, apparently acrylic paintings, offer sensitive portrayals of children in realistic settings. Pair this with Becky Ray McCain's Nobody Knew What to Do (2001). Carolyn Phelan
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 8 and up
  
• Hardcover: 32 pages
• Publisher: Tricycle Press (April 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1582461635
• ISBN-13: 978-1582461632
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 0.3 x 10.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #14,364 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #14 in Books > Children's Books > Social Situations > Bullies

More About the Author

Trudy Ludwig
Making a Difference in Kids' Lives, One Book at a Time(R)

Trudy is a nationally acclaimed speaker and an award-winning author who specializes in writing children's books that explore the colorful and sometimes confusing world of children's social interactions. She has received rave reviews nationwide from educators, experts, organizations, and parents for her passion and compassion in addressing peer aggression and friendship issues. Trudy presents at schools and conferences around the country and has been profiled on national and regional television, radio, and newsprint.

Trudy's books have received Mom's Choice Gold Awards, Moonbeam Children's Books Gold Award, and are included in the Cooperative Children's Book Center's "Best of the Year" selection, NCSS-CBC Notable Social Studies Books for Young People selection, and the National Crime Prevention Council's "Circle of Respect" book club selection. She has been featured on ABC's Good Morning America; PBS's Keeping Kids Healthy, and Sesame Street Workshop's Expert Panel video series on bullying.

"Because the social world of today's children is very complex and difficult to navigate, I try to include in my stories the wisdom and insights of young readers so that my books resonate with the authenticity of their life experiences and views," she says. "I also have the added pleasure of tapping into my own inner child--letting her laugh, cry, and simply breathe."

For more information about Trudy, her books, school visits, conference keynotes, and workshop presentations, please visit www.trudyludwig.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Teaching Tool!, September 7, 2006

By 

Sandra McLeod Humphrey "Children's Author and... (Minnetonka, MN United States) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Just Kidding (Hardcover)

This is a great book for both the home and the classroom. The story itself is realistic and poignant and makes the distinction between "tattling" and "reporting." When D.J. is teased unmercifully by Vince, D.J.'s life becomes miserable and he begins to feel like a "loser." Fortunately, he finds support from both his family and his teacher, and they help him develop some coping skills which not only enable him to deal constructively with the bully but also enable him to support his friends when they are the objects of the bully's attacks. The Foreward by Stan Davis, founder of www.stopbullyingnow.com, provides a valuable overview of the issue of bullying as well as suggestions about how to help family members deal with the problem. This is a valuable resource for both the home and the classroom. Highly Recommended!

32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is NOT Funny! This is a Very Serious Matter!, January 14, 2007

By 

BeatleBangs1964 (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Just Kidding (Hardcover)

Trudy Ludwig is a genius and understands the deleterious effect of teasing and peer cruelty and bullying. Bullying is not limited to children. In some cases, teachers, bosses and co-workers have also been involved in bullying tactics. Many companies provide handbooks of unacceptable behavior, among which is often included "blocking somebody's path; verbal or physical coercion of any person on these premises or during the usual course of business...zero tolerance policy."

D.J., a tween (8-12 years) faces his nemesis Vince, who hounds, heckles and harasses him. Whenever D.J. complains that Vince is verbally drawing blood, the latter gives him the stock comment of he's just kidding and can't D.J. take a joke. I have known adults do this to children and believe me, that does NOT engender good feelings nor teach humor. When adults do this to children, it makes children feel like they have no recourse and that "sense of humor" means endure somebody having fun at their expense. It teaches deceit, e.g. going along and pretending to find it funny; avoiding dressing downs and questioning the existence of their OWN senses of humor when all the while resentment and erosion of esteem is building.

However, peer teasing escalates to physical violence as is shown in this story. Vince steps up his verbal abuse of D.J. and humiliates him in front of their teammates. That is bad enough, but when he starts hitting D.J. on the bus, D.J. knows he has to take his concerns to someone who can help.

D.J.'s dad gives him bad advice when he says D.J. can't fight back verbally or physically to Vince. We all know that ignoring bullies often steps up their harassment campaign. Luckily, the boy's father takes D.J.'s concerns to his teacher, who wisely includes the school counselor.

I've been targeted by bullies and I've seen this time and again. I was told to "deal with it;" "s/he's only kidding;" "can't you take a joke;" "where's your sense of humor" and I even had teachers do this. In one case, a teacher wrote that a child was "happier than ever" because the child stopped verbally objecting to the teacher's snide personal comments, cloaked in the guise of "humor." Whenever that child objected, the child was upbraided for not having a sense of humor and how important it is to laugh at oneself. Horse feathers! The child was NOT happier than ever; this was a child with Asperger's who was "giving the desired response" so as to avoid disfavor and further repercussions, all of which was disclosed during later interviews.

That is what NOT to do when a child is being hounded by bullies. No child should be taught to be a silent, emotional masochist and accept this kind of treatment from anyone. There is NO excuse for it and it is paramount to defend one's own child instead of making excuses for Other People's Children. In recent years, I have seen adults on talk shows describe how heckling and harmful peers have impacted their current lives and hurt their esteem.

I recommend this book along with MY SECRET BULLY and SORRY. No parent or educator should be without these three gems of wisdom.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful to parents and children!, October 4, 2006

By 

Armchair Interviews (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Just Kidding (Hardcover)

In Just Kidding, author Trudy Ludwig addresses the painful topic of teasing and peer exclusion.

How does a child handle teasing when the laughter stops and hurt feelings begin? This is exactly what D.J. must face when his friend Vince takes teasing too far. First it begins with Vince calling D.J. a loser, but then escalates the teasing by making fun of D.J. in front of their soccer teammates. The final straw comeswhen Vince moves from verbal taunting to physical harassment on the school bus. Feeling angry and frustrated, D.J. turns to his dad for help.

With coaching from his dad and brother, D.J. learns to diffuse Vince's attacks with humor and non-rebuttal. His dad reminds him that, "You can't say or do anything mean back to the teaser." But when those skills don't work, D.J.'s dad addresses the problem with his teacher, which ultimately causes Vince to meet with the school counselor in order to address the problem of bullying his classmates.

As a mother I've seen and heard the taunts that children use against one another. Too many times I've heard parents tell their crying child to "deal with it" or to "just ignore whoever is bothering you", but that advice doesn't lend itself to resolving the issue at hand. In fact, more times than not, children who tease, only increase their taunts when they're ignored.

As parents and educators, it is important that we listen to the children in our lives and step in to protect them when others are abusive and purposefully hurtful. There is never an excuse for bullying and our children should not be taught to ignore or tolerate this behavior from others.

If you want an excellent book that addresses this sticky topic, I highly recommend Just Kidding. This straightforward story will open the door to the world of teasing, enabling parents and teachers to help put a stop to this negative behavior.

Armchair Interviews says: The skill sets shared in this book will help empower our children to interact with each other in a fun, caring and compassionate manner