Amazon.com Review
In working families, mothers are still responsible for 70 percent of the household chores. What gives? While it's no longer unusual to see a father toting his kid around in a Baby Bjorn, it's still cause for celebration to witness a guy holding a toilet brush. To prevent bitterness from such unequal workloads from boiling over, mom Karen Bouris proposes a remedy in the form of an "Equal Parenting Agreement," or EPA, a written checklist of assigned responsibilities designed to keep every family member happy. She leaves no detail out, with slots for scheduling the kids' doctor appointments, breadwinning, making sure the life-insurance policy is up to date, and, yes, cleaning the toilets. She and her husband arranged their own EPA that ultimately meant he would work fewer hours at his job, and she would work more. It's no simple process, with questions and exercises designed to determine your parenting priorities ("how will you help your children feel loved?"), and even your "Family Standard of Cleanliness." Some readers may be turned off by the touchy-feely terms, such as "intentional steps" and "Mother Martyr" or the sheer number of exercises, which are likely a byproduct of her time spent in couples' counseling. But there's no denying that the process of creating an EPA--using Bouris's recommended process of self- analysis and negotiation--is bound to at least open up the lines of communication, and at most make it a lot more pleasant to keep the house running.
--Erica Jorgensen
From Publishers Weekly
Women seeking to establish equal partnerships with their husbands in their domestic and professional lives should appreciate Bouris's (The First Time) "blueprint for enacting change." Primarily based on extensive personal interviews, the guide depicts a diverse set of viewpoints that encompass everything from the guilt and anger that can be felt by full-time working moms who also bear the brunt of house and child-care responsibilities, to the sacrifices and rewards that men can find when they undertake the role of house husband. Systematically addressing major aspects of life (e.g., self, children, work and love), the author wisely organizes each chapter so that it can be read as a self-contained essay: a boon to time-constrained readers. While exercises like signing an intention statement to love and respect your partner come off a little stilted at first glance, Bouris's concrete tips for issues such as financially safeguarding stay-at-home parents, valuing personal dreams and goals, and negotiating housework are both valuable and helpful.
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