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He's Just Not Your Type (and that's a good thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It Paperback


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He's Just Not Your Type (and that's a good thing): How to Find Love Where You Least Expect It + It's Okay to Sleep With Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale Books (April 27, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1605296732
  • ISBN-13: 978-1605296739
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #937,796 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Tired of trying to figure out if a relationship is right for you? Dating columnist Syrtash serves her solutions with a large dose of encouragement: "The man you are looking for is also looking for you." Though when it comes to substantial suggestions for improving your dating life that don't involve the pursuit of your "NT," or nontype, Syrtash is largely MIA. Women, she says, are too focused on their type even when their dating history suggests this type might not actually work for them. For instance, when Lahna looked beyond her type she fell in love - with a six-hundred pound man. Syrtash's formula for change ("Consciousness/Faith/Action") might sound easy, but remember, "When you are with the right match it will not be a thought, but a feeling." The author suggests ignoring what your parents, friends, or colleagues have to say about your love life, encouraging readers to "Date men you would date if nobody was looking," in a perky primer that offers few specifics to weary women actually on the lookout for Mr. Right.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"In terms of love and relationships, Andrea Syrtash has "been there" and "done that" and has mastered the dating game; in part by throwing away the rules and proving it's not a game at all, but rather a journey that needs to be undertaken with exuberance, honesty and an appetite for the unexpected. Her voice is fresh, funny and relatable and the advice in He's Just Not Your Type is spot-on. I've already given my copy to my single cousin!"
--Ian Kerner, bestselling author of She Comes First and Be Honest, You're Not That Into Him Either
 
“Andrea Syrtash offers some of the most practical approaches to dating that I've ever seen. She takes the guess work out of it and teaches you how to lead with your heart. When I read her advice, "Date the person not the potential" it made me smile. Get her book today....and you'll be smiling too!”
--Lisa Nichols, bestselling author of No Matter What and featured teacher in The Secret

"As someone who married her nontype, I can confidently say that Andrea nailed the process of how to mindfully date men who recognize and encourage you to be the best version of yourself - and never (okay, rarely) look back on the chumps who came before."
–Kristina Grish, author of The Joy of Text and Boy Vey!

“Written from a place of deep caring and experience, Syrtash points out that what we think we want, and what’s really good for us are often two different things. If this wise book doesn’t jolt you out of your old, broken dating patterns, nothing else will.”
--Evan Marc Katz, dating coach and author of Why You’re Still Single: Things Your Friends Would Tell You If You Promised Not to Get Mad
 
"Confused by your "bad luck"in dating? Then you're lucky to have found this book! Syrtash explains in a fun and entertaining way how you developed your dating patterns - then inspires you to think differently - snagging you different (and happier!) dating results!"
--Karen Salmansohn, author Prince Harming Syndrome

“Finally, real love lessons for single women without any “rules”! Kudos to Andrea for teaching us right from wrong and how not to settle for Mr. Maybe.” 
--Sherri Langburt, Founder, SingleEdition.com

More About the Author

I have the best job in the world. I get to think about, write about and help people find (and stay in) LOVE. One of my favorite parts of my work is connecting with people and learning about their experiences.

I'm passionate about helping people live authentically -- in life and in love. My brand of self-help is light and accessible; and my hope is that my relationship advice offers readers a new perspective that inspires them to try something different.

Short bio:

Andrea Syrtash is a dating & relationship expert, life coach, author and on-air personality. She has contributed to over a dozen relationship-advice books and is the editor of "How to Survive the Real World" and "How to Survive Your In-Laws". She is the author of "He's Just Not Your Type (And That's a Good Thing)", which was released in May 2010. Her new book, "Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband)", will be published by Rodale in September 2011.

Andrea is an advice columnist and contributor to numerous popular sites including OPRAH.com, Yahoo! and The Huffington Post; and she is the on-air host of 'On Dating', produced by NBC Digital Studios. She has shared relationship advice in various media outlets including on The Today Show, The CBS Early Show, ABC News, VH1 and TV Land; and has been featured in magazines including Glamour, Cosmopolitan, People Style Watch and Women's Health, among others. She frequently speaks at conferences and events around the country.


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Thanks for visiting this page! For more, please visit: www.andreasyrtash.com

Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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I hope Andrea Syrtash's wise words lead to many more outcomes as happy as ours!
Jack Lechner
She has a light, breezy style that is very easy to read while providing useful information that anyone in the dating world can use...a good read with useful advice!
Pee Gee
"He's Just Not Your Type and That's a Good Thing" is a great read for those who feel stuck in a dating rut.
Ilana Arazie

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Regis Schilken on May 4, 2010
Format: Paperback
Syrtash's book, He's Just Not Your Type, is a positive approach to dating that will help you feel more confident about your dating life. There are two very important points she drives home to her readers.

1) If you feel unsuccessful about finding mister right at this point in your life, that means you have successfully avoided settling down with mister wrong to become just another divorce statistic. This is a positive!

2) But, if you feel negative toward dating, it is time to take positive steps toward your own acceptance behavior, with men whom you may not consider your exact type.

He's Just Not Your Type provides exercises that can help you generate a realistic outlook on your world as a whole. Of primary importance is eliminating the words "should" and "can't" from your spoken language, but even more important, from your MENTAL vocabulary. These two words she calls "gremlins." He's Just Not Your Type would have you use cognitive therapy on a regular basis to change negative thinking.

To do this, you write down a list of negatives that you regularly say to yourself and to others. Next, you write down positive rebukes for each negative.

NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
____"I should be a better conversationalist."
____"I can't go on a blind date,"
____"I can't just leave this poor man."

POSITIVE REBUKES
____"I will be a better conversationalist by reading the editorial page of my daily newspaper so I'm informed about fascinating topics to discuss with my date.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Selena Liu on May 4, 2010
Format: Paperback
Four pages into this book, I started texting all of my friends who I thought needed to read this as much as I did. To be honest, when I first heard the title, I expected the book to be about settling. There is this natural defensive reaction when we are asked to look beyond our "types." How can we help what we are attracted to? But what I love about Andrea's perspective is that it is the exact OPPOSITE of settling. Her book is so hopeful. It is about actually finding HAPPINESS in dating and marriage. Instead of beating ourselves up over our "shoulds" (like I really "should" marry this guy), one of the simple ideas that I now ask myself since reading her book is, "Who would I rather be trapped in a foxhole with?"

So many of us date either the people we think we "should," as in the guy who looks great on paper, or... if we have a bit of a rebellious streak in us, the guy who we "shouldn't." What if we looked at dating in a different way? What if it's about who we love to be with? You think the title might be more about "thinking" our way through dating more sensibly (ie. settling again), but Andrea encourages us to "feel." How do we feel around this person? Do we feel more ourselves or do we become unrecognizable? (You crazy facebook stalkers know who you are.) She is not asking us to settle, she is actually encouraging us to do the very opposite. Find what REALLY makes us happy!

The other unexpected thing for me in reading this is how fun dating has been since. So many of us can become so negative about dating. But if you go into it with the attitude of, I wonder how I'm going to be around this "non-type"?
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Jamie Wilson VINE VOICE on April 29, 2010
Format: Paperback Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
This really is an eye-opener and crucial to help change your prespective. For years I couldn't understand why I attracted abusers who ultimately cheated when I knew I was seeking good guys. This book really took the blinders off and since reading it I have begun dating the most amazing man who is definitly not my type and I never would have looked twice at him before reading this book. This is nothing against him, he is amazing! Just wasn't my normal type, which is a great thing! He is everything I ever wanted and never realized because I was attracted to the wrong guys before. I highly recommend reading this if you're single at all!
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இ Fuzzy Wuzzy's Summary:
ѾѾѾѾ Recommended with warm fuzzies.

In this book, dating and relationship writer, Andrea Syrtash, combines two main concepts: 1) the Albert Einstein quote of "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results", and 2) offering advice on how to think outside the box, to go beyond your preconceived notions of what your future partner looks like, what she refers to as "Think Outside the Box(ers)". Even though this book is targeted towards women, as a guy, I found that much of this book's comments and advice could also be applicable for men since we guys often also rule out women who we think of as being "not my type" just because of fixed mindsets or idealizations.

The book starts off with some pep talk and questions and list-making exercises designed to make you introspect on who you are and what you want. "What are you passionate about?" "What are your values?" Your mate should fulfill four essential roles: Partner, Friend, Companion, Lover. Also, make a list of what you must have and what you cannot stand in a relationship.

She spends a chapter talking about the concept of a "Soul Mate". A section called "You Complete Me" totally resonated and aligned with my thoughts. Personally, I have always disliked the notion of two halves making a whole in relationships, that idea that you are looking for your other half in order to become one whole. We should be looking for someone who is already complete as a human being on his/her own and looking for an equal partner. And Andrea mentions this in the "You Complete Me" section of the "What Is A Soul Mate" chapter. Basically, you should already be complete and happy with your own life before you can be happy in a relationship.
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