Customer Reviews

The Kabbalah of Envy: Transforming Hatred, Anger, and Other Negative Emotions

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This book by Rabbi Nilton Bonder is a most fascinating and enlightening read indeed on the subject of envy. I bought and read this book a few years ago, and I recently came across it again in my collection of books and reaquainted myself with it by rereading it once more. Turned out to be as fresh and interesting the second time around as it was in the first.

Ok on to what the book is actually about. In the Kabbalah of Envy the author explores the devasting effects of Envy, one of the 7 deadly sins. In wonderful anecdotes and stories Rabbi Bonder, illustrates just how envy pollutes the heart and clouds one's mind and soul.

From his own words Rabbi Bonder quotes:
"Envy, is a vampire who feeds not on his own vitality but on that of others." Like anger, gossip, and negative emotions, it "pollutes the heart." He gives words of wisdom and practical advice and spiritual exercises one can follow to purge and free yourself from the yoke of this terrible emotion, or at least to help lessen it's effects on your life and the effects of one's own envy in relation to those around him or her.

This is a great book in learning about, and trying to cope with a emotion that can be twice as much destructive as pure hate alone and is responsible for so much discord and discontent in this world of ours it's not funny. You will be suprised to see yourself in many of the stories included here. The trick is not to be guilty or aghast about it, the trick is to do SOMETHING about it. A awesome book for one to help one's own self and hopefully others. You may never look at things the same again after this amazing book.

This book continues in the long tradition of debate, storytelling, and conceptual discussions regarding how humans interact in the world, and how a "Jewish" perspective can be used in various situations that we all come across (I use the italics because as those who know Judaism, there is never one "right" answer and many aspects are up for lively debate!) The root of many of our troubles and enmity with others, according to Rabbi Bonder, is "envy" within our own souls is manifested as hatred, anger, gossip, slander, etc. The good thing about the book is that Rabbi Bonder does not tell us that these emotions are "wrong" per se but that if we take responsibility for our actions/energy from a spiritual stance, we must re-examine them. Appropriate use of anger, reproach, etc are discussed- how by all means it should be avoided with skillful interpersonal skills showing respect for another, but that sometimes anger and reproach are unavoidable. The book makes liberal use of stories, debates, and examples from sages, historical figures in Judaism, and real-life examples from today. Thought-provoking and intriguing.

Although this book was often a little too abstract for me, it was nevertheless not completely useless. For example, I especially liked Bonder's treatment of difference. On the one hand, he emphasizes the value of being able to honor the differences that are part of nature. But at the same time, Bonder notes, rancor can arise from "a lack of sensitivity when expressing our differences in others"- a betrayal of harsh truths, or a tactless overemphasis on difference.

Just whizzing through, looking to buy another copy, I want to leave words of thanks to the authors and encouragement to all who are considering acquiring it.