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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Shaq can do it all., December 15, 2004
Shaq is truly God's gift to the world. He can sing, he can act, he can toss free throws. Let's face it, the man can do it all.
Kazaam is a movie unlike any other. Now some would say that Shaq's acting is so wooden he could play Pinnochio, but I argue with that. Shaq was playing a genie, a magical, rapping, abracadabra, hocus-pocus genie. The hippest, illest, defest, genie you ever laid eyes on. It is not for us to rate this film, it is for us to thank Shaq for taking the time to make this movie.
Now some would say that he can't even act his way through a 30 second commercial for Nestle Crunch or Burger King. I argue the point again. Shaq has the intelligence and mastery of the English language that we mortals can only hope to achieve. He is the reigning king of entertainment.
Others will also say that the man is slightly retarded and that if not for his great height, he would be lucky to ride the back of a garbage truck in Chicago as a sanitation engineer. I say those people have a real attitude problem.
Shaq can do it all. I am looking forward to his opera album, his cooking show, his line of BVD briefs, and last but certainly not least, I am looking forward to Shaq teaming up with Ice-T. Shaq will take over lead guitar duties for the reformed Body Count. Of course I hope his Broadway run doesn't interfere with the world tour.
Rock on Shaq, it's your world. We only breathe your air.
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12 of 16 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Can't stand Ka-zaam!!!!!, January 1, 2005
Jesus forgave us. Jesus forgave us all. He was unmercifully staked to a crucifix and left to slowly die, only to rise again and have to bare witness to the up chuck of a film entitled Kazaam. He gave us all a second chance and unfortunately director, Paul Michael Glaser used his second chance to create this blasphemous work of the devil. Well let me tell you, Jesus is mad at us once again and I don't think he will ever forgive us this time.
Kazaam depicts NBA star Shaquille O'Neal rapping??? and acting??? in scantily clad genie attire. Shaqs acting??? makes a drain-o enema actually seem like a pleasurable experience. It even makes his free throw ability shine in comparison. I'm still dumbfounded how someone that made such timeless greats as "Shaq diesel" and my all time favorite game "Shaq-Fu" could bomb so bad on a movie with a script as awing as this one.
You can pick up a previewed VHS copy here on Amazon.com for $0.85. I find it funny that a blank VHS tape will run you $1.00. I saved myself some money by buying a few copies of Kazaam instead of blank tapes and used them to record "Small Wonder" reruns. This is the only reason one should purchase Kazaam. If anyone is thinking of buying a copy and actually viewing it, don't! You would be better off using that $0.85 to buy a hand full of rusty nails and chewing them for the approximate running time of 1hr 45mins. Thrust me your time and money will be much better spent this way.
I gave this film??? 1 out of 5 stars only because Amazon.com doesn't allow you to give 0 stars. I wish I could rate this 0 stars. In fact I wish I could take away stars from some of the other reviewers. Hey, maybe Mr. Kazaam can help me out here.
Mr. Kazaam grant me these three wishes:
1. Give this movie 0 stars
2. Don't allow Shaq to ever act/rap again
3. Erase this movie from my memory banks for it has scard me for life.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
a thoroughly unpleasant experience, August 17, 2002
the casting of shaq as a rapping genie was silly enough, the story is completely hackneyed and false, and not even enjoyable in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way. the coup de grace however, is the horrid little chipmunk-faced boy (francis capra) we are meant to identify with. all he does is act bratty and sulk about how no one understands him, but his character is completely unlikeable. the only relief in this film is when he falls down an elevator shaft and for a few, sweet seconds, he seems to be dead. unfortunately he gets up.
and now we get to see it on dvd!
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