64 of 65 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Revolutionary book for me, February 2, 2008
This review is from: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills (Hardcover)
This book has changed the lives of me and my children permanently. I only wish Alan Kazdin hadn't taken so long to write it! He was very busy doing good work, though, and obviously taking good notes so that he could pass it on to all of us.
We have been using Kazdin's Method for 2 weeks now and I am amazed by the results. Our morning routine of getting ready for school and out the door needed a serious overhaul. We hit rockbottom one morning that ended in a lot of yelling and I knew I needed to do something drastically different. My 2 boys(6 and 9) are now out of bed right when their alarm goes off at 6:30 am, dressed and downstairs for breakfast even before I can get it ready. They then get up promptly from the table, brush teeth and hair and have their backpacks ready to go for the carpool a full 15 mins. before they need to be. My 6-yr. old came down one morning and said, "You know Mommy, now we have so much extra time that I think we should make our beds before we go too." I was nearly too stunned to talk! They do all of this so that they can get points and bonus points to go to the library, stay up an extra 15 mins., get a small gift certificate ($5) for a store, etc. Kazdin makes sure you get the all important details right, however, before you implement such a program. You have to get it all right or it won't work! But it isn't hard and I really enjoy using the program and helping the kids cash in their rewards.
This book can help with some serious defiance/behavior issues, but I wish that it was aimed more at just general parenting too. I think all parents can use ideas when the going gets tough. I know that's when I'm at my worst. Now I feel prepared. It is important to note that Kazdin mentions what to do in situations where the behavior is severe but doesn't happen very often (low-rate behavior). I have tried his method for that also with absolute success. I'm so impressed and wish that he could find a way to implement this in a school setting for "problem kids" with behaviors that need to change.
I can't say enough good things about this book and Alan Kazdin. He will change the way children are raised and disciplined and all with very positive results.
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43 of 44 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Finally!, February 18, 2008
This review is from: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills (Hardcover)
My first child is an "easy" child, but my second child MORE than makes up for it. I have struggled for years to try to "tame" her somehow. I've read dozens of parenting books and even tried the "supernanny" methods, and NOTHING has worked on my child. Timeouts, losing priveleges, even taking everything out of her room, yelling, spanking, you name it we've tried it, nothing has had any effect on her behavior at all. I am so relieved to finally find a parenting book that explains why none of those methods, and why punishment in general do not work to change behavior (except temporarily). This book explains what does work, and he lays it all out in excruciating detail so you basically can't go wrong. When I got this book in the mail, I sat down and read it in one evening - it is a very easy read and has lots of good example stories. I had to go back to some sections when I actually began to implement the method to look up certain details, but the book is very well organized so it was easy to find what I was looking for. The main thing about his method is positive reinforcement - yes everybody knows that - but this book explains how to do positive reinforcement correctly so that it actually works! I wish I had read this book years ago because it has made me and my family so much happier. I highly, highly recommend this book.
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33 of 35 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I use this in my practice..., January 24, 2009
This review is from: The Kazdin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child: With No Pills, No Therapy, No Contest of Wills (Hardcover)
Alan Kazdin is one of a half-dozen psychologists who have devoted their lives to research and treatment of problem children. This book has been a godsend to dozens of parents I see in my clinical practice. In fact, I buy it in quantity, stock it in my office, and sell it to them AT COST so they can refer to it at home. I have gotten very good feedback.
Who WOULD benefit from this book? The answer is in the title: parents of DEFIANT children. These are children who are cognitively normal, not involved in crime or criminal threat groups, and not addicted to drugs, yet are defiant, argumentative, disobedient, and generally tiresome around the house. For the millions of parents who have ended up with children they just don't like, this book contains the best parenting advice available.
Some children have special problems, such as autistic-spectrum disorders, ADHD, sensory integration disorder, and the like. The bottom line is, any child who does not respond positively to the program in this book (fully implemented, not attempted halfway or half-heartedly) should be taken for a psychological evaluation to determine what factors play into the discipline problems other than parenting practices. For example, ADHD can't be parented away, but if it is PROPERLY medicated, then the remaining behavior problems can be parented away using the principles in this book or similar books.
For children with attention problems I recommend and use Russell Barkley's books on the defiant child and defiant teen, as Barkley has specialized in working with this population. For children with conduct disorder, there's almost no hope of success unless the parents work with a psychologist who is trained in the behavior protocols designed specifically for conduct-disordered children -- and even these may be insufficient. A parent with a complex problem such as this should never just buy a book and try to treat the problem at home, any more than they would buy a home surgical guide and take out their own child's appendix.
Bottom line: if your child is driving you nuts, but has no obvious really serious problems (no probation record, can pay attention in class, and such), this book is an excellent resource. Buy it, read it, and apply it. If it doesn't work, find a psychologist who specializes in behavior problems in children, who knows Barkley's and Kazdin's work, and who is familiar with diagnosis and treatment of a variety of childhood disorders -- NOT a psychologist who will do play therapy or just talk to the kid, but one who follows specific treatment protocols for serious behavior problems. If you can't find one, either go through the website for the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy, or the American Board for Clinical and Child Psychology, www.clinicalchildpsychology.com. They will help you find someone who specializes in this challenging domain.
And good luck with your children.
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