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Keeping Your Child in Mind: Overcoming Defiance, Tantrums, and Other Everyday Behavior Problems by Seeing the World through Your Child's Eyes (A Merloyd Lawrence Book) Paperback – August 30, 2011


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Keeping Your Child in Mind: Overcoming Defiance, Tantrums, and Other Everyday Behavior Problems by Seeing the World through Your Child's Eyes (A Merloyd Lawrence Book) + The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind + How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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Product Details

  • Series: A Merloyd Lawrence Book
  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books (August 30, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 073821485X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0738214856
  • Product Dimensions: 5.6 x 0.6 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #641,459 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Publishers Weekly, 8/1/11
“Readers seeking a comprehensive approach to child-rearing will welcome this thoughtful book.”

Kirkus Review, 9/15/11
“Would be especially useful for new parents in search of holistic guidance. A panoply of hypothetical situations offering broad-based solutions.”

Bookviews, September 2011
“The book looks at various ages and stages of development, imparting excellent advice that will make the job of parenting much easier.”

Salt Lake City Desert News, 9/11/11
“Engaging and enlightening, Keeping Your Child in Mind is a book worth reading and rereading for any parent who is looking for understanding, support and a loving method that will bring out the best in a child. It is a breath of fresh air that parents may not have known they needed.”

Infodad.com, 9/15/11
“Valuable…Gold couples an understanding of recent scientific and medical research with insights into parent-child relationships gleaned from her own work … Connectedness is the point here… Gold’s examples of families with which her approach has worked are helpful.”

San Francisco Book Review, 10/5/11
“Gold supports her recommendations using easy-to-understand situations, examples and solutions gathered from her interactions with her clients and referring to current research in child development.”

Examiner.com, 9/29/11
“Gold’s book is a powerful way to bring decades of developmental research and attachment theory to everyday parenting situations.  It gives all parents the insight needed to understand the emotions that undermine best intentions and explains why there isn’t “one right way” in parenting…Keeping Your Child in Mind can offer relief to parents frustrated by frustrated by day-to-day parenting or help change a self-defeating parenting pattern. It holds the key to enjoying your child again and creating a satisfying family life.”
 
Mid-Ohio Valley Parents Magazine, October 2011
“Give[s] parents a lot to think about.”
 
Cleveland Psychoanalytic Center (website), 10/9/11
“Highly readable.”
 
Library Journal, 10/20/11
“Parents of older children with behavioral problems who are opposed to medication will find this advice useful…attachment-parenting proponents will applaud her approach.”
 
PensivePediatrician.com, 10/23/11
“Provides incredible insights for parents and anyone who works with children: teachers, doctors, daycare providers or counselors.”

PsychCentral.com, 11/14/11
“Rather than have a parenting book for each individual phase, Dr. Gold provides a single resource that can be applied to all stages…Worth your time!”

Midwest Book Review, November 2011
“From infants to teens, this offers different approaches to nurturing and building relationships with a child and is a pick for any parenting library.”

ParenThots.com (Malaysia), 7/9/12
“A timely book…A useful guide. It provides suggestions to unlocking some treasures by ‘being’ with our kids and slowing down to enjoy the flowers, with the life in our care.”

About the Author

Claudia Gold, MD, practices behavioral pediatrics in Great Barrington, Massachusetts, and writes a column on children’s mental health for the Boston Globe. Trained in psychoanalytic theory, she has presented her work widely to parents and professionals.

More About the Author

Claudia M. Gold, M.D., is a pediatrician with a longstanding interest in addressing children's mental health needs in a preventive model. She has over 20 years experience practicing both general and behavioral pediatrics, and currently runs the Early Childhood Social Emotional Health Program at Newton Wellesley Hospital. She is on the faculty of the Berkshire Psychoanalytic Institute and the Brazelton Institute. She is a graduate of the University of Massachusetts Boston Infant-Parent Mental Health Post-Graduate Certificate Program. She writes regularly for her blog, Child in Mind, on the Boston.com website.

Customer Reviews

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If you want some ideas about how to see the world from your children's eyes, this book can help pave the way.
Kathy Slattengren
This is well written, grounded in recent research and theory, and offers support to parents in way that is accessible and hands-on.
Susan Stone
It is also a humane book, for it empowers both parent and child in a manner that helps both to become complete functional adults.
Daniel P. Murray

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Nonfiction on May 16, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is hands down one of the best parenting books I have read. It is fantastic for parents with a history of trauma but really excellent for any parent. I loved it because partly because it was a fast read--when I need parenting advice I want it to be presented concisely. Like all parents I am busy and if I need help I want to get it quickly. So big points for being well written and giving useful examples that illustrated points quickly. Beyond this I loved that it very clearly showed how to approach your relationship with your child in ways that facilitate your child's learning self-regulation. The ideas presented in the book are evidence based which is refreshing. It does briefly advocate CIO so if you are dealing with infant sleep issues and you don't like CIO maybe skip this or save it for the useful bits about older kids. Best of all I saw immediate results in my own family. I am really grateful to the author.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Celine Zoppelt on June 16, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I "read" this book first on audible, then I bought a few more hard copies to give to friends. The insights shared in this book would be helpful for any person, at any age, at any developmental level. Dr. Gold presents a unique way to view the behaviors of children which sets the stage for more mature parenting. It is always a good thing to open the eyes of our hearts and minds to try to understand others, and I believe that Dr. Gold has done an excellent job in doing just that.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Daniel P. Murray on August 26, 2014
Format: Paperback
This is the best book on parenting I’ve seen, and my only regret is that our adult children did not have the opportunity to benefit from the wisdom it contains. It is a wise book solidly based on the ideas of child rearing of Erikson and Winnicott and contemporary cognitive science. It is also a humane book, for it empowers both parent and child in a manner that helps both to become complete functional adults. Lastly, it is an inviting read that provides a wealth of parenting insights in an easy-to-absorb format. It is a book that deserves to be read by a much larger audience, those who, whatever their age, aspire to understand and partner with others. I am a science educator who works with teachers and students, from primary through college level, with the goal of building learning communities. I have found this book invaluable for the insights it has given me about how to listen to, and empathize with people. Keeping Your Child in Mind has become our gift of choice to prospective parents, and to others with whom I work. I highly recommend it to all.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Jeannie M. Larsen on August 27, 2014
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I ordered this book after reading Dr. Gold's very insightful columns for the Boston Globe. This book is excellent. I too am a practicing pediatrician, like the author, and her book provides a really important summary of the relevant neuroscience regarding optimal child development while also offering really insightful case examples from her practice. Her book's emphasis on the importance of the parent-child relationship is really important and provides a welcome counterpoint to the current over-medicalization of common childhood behavior problems and the over-reliance on prescription drugs for their treatment. I really appreciated how so many different ideas were woven together to give a really clear picture of why it is so important to "keep your child in mind". I can't recommend this book highly enough!
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Format: Paperback
If childhood is essentially what makes us who and what we are, if it is what shapes how we live our lives, how we treat each other, how we view the world and thus how we shape both the present and the future, then more than ever for both personal and planetary reasons, parenting is a doubly awesome responsibility -- a task for which Dr Gold’s broad experience sensitively offers comfort and reassurance.

Incorporating current understanding of brain development and the crucial role the quality of attachment plays in making every child feel seen and safe and secure, with accessible and enlightening guidelines she lovingly tackles the inevitable realities of the all-too-often, stressful and challenging daily ups and downs of what it truly takes to keep a child in mind.

This book is a gem and one every family should have a copy of. As much for an individual child today as for those of the future it would behoove us all to connect the dots and between the value our society gives to the nature of mothering at one end of the spectrum and humanity’s impact on Mother Nature at the other.
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Format: Paperback
This is a wonderful book, particularly for those moments when your empathy is stretched and you're really struggling to imagine where in the world your child might be coming from. As good a reference as there is-- a sophisticated yet accessible integration of helpful ways of thinking applicable across developmental stages, infancy to adolescence. Also, there's a great chapter on how to think about helping a struggling child out "beyond medications" which is a sorely needed voice in our quick-fix times. Makes a great shower gift...
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Format: Paperback
Keeping the Child in Mind demonstrates brilliantly how a wise clinician employs developmental theory in practice with children and families. Gold's writing about emotion and the developing social mind breathes fresh air into theories of the masters, whose language is often intimidating for students. Keeping the Child mind manages to keep students' and parents' minds in mind. I recommend it as a required text for social work practice courses.

Jim Canning, LICSW, Ph.D. Social Work Professor
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