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55 of 57 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Be warned, June 5, 2007
This review is from: Key to Conflict (Gillian Key, ParaDoc, Book 1) (Mass Market Paperback)
I don't like to give negative reviews to first novels that are trying hard, but this book was too aggravating for me to recommend. I expected it to be a fantasy/romance crossover book, with a strong heroine and (most likely) a love interest or two. What I got was an obnoxious TSTL heroine who had too many different love interests after her.
The main character was rude, irrational, and sometimes just mean. She started out her psychology sessions by telling the guy to sit down and shut up, then told them how to get over it (whatever the problem). So I didn't like the main character. But the supporting characters, who were mostly fine, each had an even greater flaw: each of them liked her, for some reason. Oh, it was told to the reader why she was so neat, but she certainly didn't come across that way.
I'd like to say these are simply flaws in a new writer, but unfortunately these flaws ruined the book for me. It's going straight to the library pile. I'll try the author's next one, though. Maybe she'll get better.
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93 of 100 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
-1 Star... Don't waste your time with this one, At least, don't buy it., June 3, 2007
This review is from: Key to Conflict (Gillian Key, ParaDoc, Book 1) (Mass Market Paperback)
You probably have read a book that was terrible to start with, but you kept reading it because you hate to give up on the book, or because you hope it will get better. Well, this book was like that for me. In fact, I dislike this book intensely for many reasons.
First, the writing was more telling, than showing, way too detailed (believe it or not) and frankly aggravating. Everything is explained to the reader, which I think is frowned upon in Freshman Creative Writing classes.
The main character was supposed to be a USMC Officer, which came off completely unconvincing. I found myself actively disliking her and her behavior. She was undisciplined, rude and her judgement was terrible, which wouldn't be expected in an Officer with significant alleged combat leadership experience. She also paired up sexually with two brothers (essentially) and a ghost throughout the course of the book, and I found that objectionable.
I completely understand the concept of fantasy and suspension of disbelief, but this book was ridiculous. What sort of therapist was she? The kind that inspired vapid, "Oh, she's so smart, and solved all my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder problems in basically one session," and simultaneously inspires erections in every single male she encounters, even those who dislike her. The words used to describe the main character were petite, delicate, and beautiful, and everyone wants to protect her, or spank her, which I also found aggravating.
I have to admit the image that comes to my mind when thinking about a female Marine do not match those descriptors. I have all the respect in the world for real Marines, but I don't think this irritating character would have made it through Boot.
And what is it about every single character being extraordinarily beautiful, gorgeous, lovely, etcetera? The only person who wasn't beautiful was Jack the Ripper (non-essential spoiler). And when talking about the pairings of all the characters with (multiple) sex partners as well as "Mates", it was arousal/lust/anger at first sight and beyond that, there was basically no character development.
I'm frankly mad that I wasted my time with this book, and I urge you to believe me. I love romance novels, and I love sci-fi/fantasy (as this was billed), but this was a terrible story covered in a massive amount of extraneous words (over which I found myself skipping).
Needless to say, this author is definitely on my skip list.
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37 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Inept, Insane, Incredibly Funny! Not a Good Thing., July 29, 2007
This review is from: Key to Conflict (Gillian Key, ParaDoc, Book 1) (Mass Market Paperback)
Every once in a while there is a book that is so gleeful in its ineptness and so unrepentant in its insanity, it manages to lift itself off the absolute bottom of the barrel and becomes an entertaining laugh riot. That is Key to Conflict's saving grace and why it gets a two star instead of one star. Objectively, this may just be the worst book I've ever read. However, its crazy plot and lousy writing style also manage to make it one of the funniest. I haven't laughed this hard since Triggerfish Twist, and that was supposed to be a funny book.
Gillian Key is a total Mary Sue. She's only twenty-six but she's a decorated marine who has fought all over the world, a PhD, world famous vampire therapist for the undead, and mind-blowing great lover. Let's not even try to figure out how she has time to do all this stuff. Unfortunately, intelligent and sensible human being is not among her list of titles. Gillian is also a rude, violent, stupid human being. She constantly goes around insulting people and starting fights. For some reason, everyone thinks she's just the bees knees for it. That she has sass and vitality when its just rank stupidity. For example, during a super important peace summit between the humans and vampires, girl idiot here received a necklace from one of the vampire delegates and she decided to stab him in the face with it.
Gillian finds herself in the Carpathian mountains to give therapy to one Count Aleksei Rachlav. He suffers from fangxiety! Her idea of therapy seems to be to fire off insults while her patient tells her his life story and lust after him in her head. Back to the lousy writing style, during their first session the perspective shifts back and forth between them like five times in three pages and they muse over the main theme of "I want you, baby." Get used to this ping-pong ball style of narration, because the author bounces between subjects and character point of views with no rhyme or reason. In one scene, Gillian is being choked to death and in the middle of that it goes from the subject of Satanists to Gillian's upbringing before going back to the throat crushing. Then there's the prose. The horrible purple prose. Before the first chapter is over, Gillian's personal area is described as being "turgid with a sensual perfume".
Quite a bit of time is spent on describing Gillian's happy bits because if she doesn't actually have sex with a character, he certainly wants to do it with her. The sex scenes are comedy gold. The Count has a brother. Gillian punches him in the face, he spanks her butt, she throws him down a hill, and then they get it on as if they were champion contortionists. Gillian's other patient is a ghost who can temporarily made himself solid. The ghost starts sneaking in her room to give her some Midnight Delight. The ghost is invisible while he does this, and Gillian's other lover walks into the room and gets in bed with her with the same idea. I thought for a moment that the ghost was going to get some surprise sodomy. I nearly died laughing.
Back to the crazy plot, Count Dracula wants to kill all humans basically. He's such an evil dude that instead of killing Gillian, he sends evil minions to jump out of her car and yell "Boo!" The Rachlav brothers and Gillian decide to fight back against his evil scheme because vampires are really all about peace, love, and justice. They enlist the help of the most powerful vampires. These guys are almost god-like in power and they want to help, really, but they just can't kill Dracula because.... well, for reasons that don't make sense in any place outside of bizarro world. If they did swat the bad guys like flies Gillian couldn't wave a gun around, cap a few guys in the kneecaps, and play super Marine!
In the end nothing is resolved, not the situation resulting from Gillain wanting hanky-panky with both Rachlav brothers and Dracula is still on the loose. There's just some vague promise that they'll get that villian next time. My spidey senses are tingling in warning that Talia Gryphon plans to inflict a sequel upon the reading public. The sad thing is that I'd probably buy it just to laugh at the literary trainwreck again.
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