22 of 28 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Key to boredom, August 1, 2008
This review is from: Key to Conspiracy (Gillian Key, ParaDoc, Book 2) (Paperback)
Talia Gryphon has the dubious honor of penning one of the worst urban fantasy books in recent memory, "Key To Conflict." Butch Mary Sues, effeminate vampires, ghastly sex scenes, and a random mishmash of fantasy cliches.
But while "Key to Conspiracy" doesn't actually leave me wanting to claw my eyes out, Gryphon's second novel is still a particularly wretched self-insert fantasy, hampered by an irritating lead, ghastly writing and an appallingly slow pace. To make matters worse, Gryphon pads out the "main" storyline with a string of sideplots that contribute nothing except a much higher page count.
As the book starts, Anita Blake... sorry, Gillian Key accompanies her Team (capitalized, note!) of a Grael Elf, a few humans, some weres and a vampire to Russia. to stop a ring of child-smuggling werecreature pedophiles. Their leaders: Boris and Natasha, along with their pet weremoose. I swear I am making none of this up, as much as I wish I were.
Then Gillian is called to England to handle a house known for its supernaturally-induced deaths, and uncovers a truly horrifying entity there. And in France, they're attacked by a Loup-Garou -- who is actually a suicidal nobleman whose Fey wife is seeking a cure for his curse. Unfortunately, Gillian has attracted the attention of Jack the Ripper, and Jack intends to kill her no matter where she is.
Finally the troupe tramps back to Transylvania. Since more than two-thirds of the book has gone by with no sex, Gillian and her not-exactly-boyfriend Aleksei do the deed. And on the sidelines, they decide to summon the ghost Dante for an upcoming conference, to create a peace treaty between all Paramortals. And no, I don't know why after thousands of years, only Gillian could convince all these people to put aside their differences in... about five minutes.
If there was ever a book that felt like it was made up along the way, it's "Key to Conspiracy." Gryphon basically strings together a bunch of short stories into one novel, with little to connect them except that Gillian the Uber-Superwoman saves the day every time. And even when she gets back to the "main" plot, it's obvious she has no idea what should happen next.
It would be pretty bad even if Gryphon could write... which she can't. Key plot points (the vampire "plant") and characters like Jack are dropped when the location changes -- including a foreshadowed Phantom of the Opera cameo that comes to nothing. The entire last quarter of the book revolves around a very brief meeting, with no disagreements or conflict whatsoever. Bing, bang, it's all done and over with -- and no real reason why it couldn't have happened millennia ago.
But even a real plot couldn't save this disaster. Gryphon's writing is silly at best (hello, wereminotaur!) and absurd at worst, such as describing Trocar's "crystalline brow." And when Gillian's little gang rolls around to Transylvania, Gryphon opens the floodgates on appalling sex scenes and TMI-laden dialogue, with such charming elements as Aleksei's "healing saliva." You can guess what's going on in THAT scene.
Her dialogue is no better ("I tell you what you're going to do. You're going to help rally all the agonized spirits in the area for some group therapy!"). And Gryphon seems to have something of a voice fetish, since every attractive male is described as "giving voice."
Perhaps the most nauseating element of this book is a fawning homage to Laurell K. Hamilton's "Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter" series. It's hard to be objective when someone is that worshipful of their reigning influence.
Obviously the worst character is Mary Sue herself, also known as Gillian. She's butch, nasty, verbally and physically abusive, considers thirty to be geriatric, whines endlessly and gripes about everybody. But don't worry, because none of that matters -- she's also beautiful, sexy, adorable, and all the men desire her not-so-secretly.
The other characters are no better -- the supposedly hardened female Marines act like giggly schoolgirls, the vampires are all sexy and remote (yet adoring to Gillian) and the fey are all beautiful and charming. The only remotely interesting character is Trocar the Dark Elf, but his personality is stunted by his drooling tendency to refer to Gillian as "Gillyflower" and "Petal."
"Key to Conspiracy" is a deceptive title, as there is little conspiracy here. Also little interesting action, little characterization, and little internal logic. It can only get worse from here on.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Mixed Feelings, May 2, 2008
This review is from: Key to Conspiracy (Gillian Key, ParaDoc, Book 2) (Paperback)
I had mixed feelings reading this the second book in the series. I enjoyed the first book. It was a respectable first book for a new author. I almost didn't finish the second one..
My biggest problem is that while I enjoyed all the writing/scenes in the book. The book as a whole didn't really flow. The first 2/3 of the book are stand alone short story's that were weakly tied together to flesh out the book. Some of those stories, notably the first one were not even fleshed out. It was more like a sketch or description of a story than the story itself.
The last 1/3 of the book all of a sudden tightened up and flowed. It tied back into the character development and plot lines from the first book. I enjoyed that part a lot.
If your looking for a series of mostly well written but weakly connected short stories then you should like this. If your looking for a well flowing book like the first one you will be disappointed.
I'm going to ding the publisher for some of this bad review as they shouldn't have allowed it to go to print in its current form. I expect better from a major publishing house like Ace.
I won't be buying the next book until I have seen someone else's reviews though.
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