Keys to the Kingdom [Paperback]

Alison A. Armstrong (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 2003

Los Angeles—For five hundred years, the women in Claudia Lambert’s family have studied men and passed their wisdom from mother to daughter. Disdainful of men, Claudia’s daughter has refused her inheritance and now Claudia’s greatest fear is that she will die without sharing the "keys to the kingdom." Acting on her husband’s suggestion, Claudia thinks Karen Trevini might prove a worthy student. Sharing her esoteric knowledge poses a risk, but the opportunity to save Karen’s 19-year marriage convinces Claudia to take this chance.

During a series of afternoon meetings at her home in Pasadena, CA, Claudia begins to teach Karen the "keys" to understanding men and creating intimate, equal partnerships with them. Their time spent together leads to a unique exchange of information that transforms Karen’s relationship to all men, and changes her husband Mike’s life forever.

"Claudia, Karen and their husbands, Burt and Mike, bring to life what I have learned over the past 12 years studying men," remarks Alison A. Armstrong, researcher, educator, and creator of the nationally led Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women® workshop. "The keys within this novel are surprisingly simple to use and profoundly alter relationships between spouses, lovers, friends, co-workers, parents and their children. This book was written in novel form because I believe people learn more while being entertained by stories."

What are the Keys to the Kingdom? Claudia starts by teaching Karen about the Stages of Development, which explain how men’s identities are shaped and expressed in predictable stages from infancy through seniority. These stages, called Pages, Knights, Princes and Kings, make sense of the changing motivations, needs and capacities that affect every part of men’s lives, including how they relate to work, friendships and family. Karen discovers that the source of the constant bickering in her relationship is that Mike is in "the Tunnel", a profoundly challenging transition between Prince and King. The imminent arrival of Mike as her "King" fuels her determination to learn the "keys to the kingdom."

As Karen explores the Stages of Development – and how to work with them to get her own needs met – she also learns, among a treasure trove of information, how to listen to men for more intimacy, the key that adds surprising excitement to a stale sex life, the generosity in receiving gifts, and how to nurture the power of her own femininity.

The first in a series of three books meant to cover the encyclopedia of information Armstrong has gathered and teaches in the workshops of PAX Programs Incorporated, which Armstrong co-founded. Keys to the Kingdom uses the perspectives of its four main characters to allow the reader to experience her information from the point of view of both men and women. Part romance, part mystery, part life-altering education, the reader will cry and chuckle their way to better relationships.

Many people are surprised to learn that Armstrong had the concept for her fictional series before developing the Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women workshop.

An important novel for our times, Keys to the Kingdom is sure to encourage understanding between men and women and enhance the relationships of every reader. Included at the end of this novel is the first chapter of The Transformation of a Frog Farmer, the next book in the series.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

We are still celebrating the release of the Alison Armstrong's newest book. According to John Gray, "By using the knowledge and skills gently taught in this book, peace between women and men will be more easily attained."

BJ Gallagher, author of Everything I need to know I learned from Other Women says, "The principals woven throughout Keys to the Kingdom have the power to transform your relationships with men - ALL men! Read, reflect, reframe...and be prepared for miracles with men."

From the Author

"It’s been my goal since 1993 to write this novel and it’s the hundreds of amazing men I have studied who have inspired me to complete it," says Armstrong. "It’s written for all people who are hungry for information and insights into joyful, satisfying relationships between men and women. I encourage the reader to pause, to reflect, to absorb, and to use each of the keys to the kingdom available in this tale."

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 216 pages
• Publisher: PAX Programs Incorporated (October 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0974143502
• ISBN-13: 978-0974143507
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #38,325 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

42 of 42 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Not Just For Women, August 23, 2005

By 

Phronesus (Oklahoma City, OK USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Keys to the Kingdom (Paperback)

The fictional storyline was only moderately interesting, but it served very well to demonstrate the wisdom of the book. Telling stories is an age-old way of teaching, and it happens twice with this book: Once for the character Karen Trevini who learns through the stories and lessons from the lovable "grandmother figure" Claudia Lambert, and once again for the reader by simply reading this book.

Written entirely from a woman's perspective, this book uses a model describing the phases that every man naturally goes through in his life, and also describes the motivation for these phases. By "not" taking a perfectly good Prince and turning him into a Frog, it helps women to understand men better, as the perhaps strange but ultimately loving creatures they are based on each life phase a man must pass through. It also gives the male reader a way to understand more about himself and the phase of life he is currently in.

But it does not stop there. It also explains by example of the storyline how men tend to think differently than women about things. For women, it is invaluable to know as a tool to understanding relations with men, and for men it is a positive affirmation for the tendencies that come so naturally.

Let me tell you about my favorite example in the book. To me as a man, it was perfectly clear and obvious. It made me wonder why anyone would need to learn it, until I realized some basic differences between men and women. For example, when you ask a man a question, there may be pauses and silences before the true answer comes out. This is only because he is not finished processing the answer to completion. From several books I've read, women's brains are "generally" more efficient in emotional and linguistic processing than men's brains are. It actually takes longer for a man to process such things. So rather than interrupting and changing his course of thought because you want the answers "now, now, now" (which incidentally could make a man think you aren't really interested in his answer), simply remain silent for a while and listen to all he has to say. Your patience -- and silence -- is usually well rewarded with a complete answer that for once, tells you what a man could be thinking. He only needed the time to figure it out for himself.

I do indeed recommend this book. As a man, I have been able to correlate the concepts presented in the book with actual areas of my life's progress. The author Alison A. Armstrong is clearly knowledgeable and wonderfully talented; and for once, a book has been written for both men and women alike, such that no one is offended and everyone learns something valuable.

30 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Toward A Happy Medium, July 11, 2004

By 

Juliette A. Ochieng (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Keys to the Kingdom (Paperback)

Often, when a movement develops and takes hold in a society--to correct a social malady-that movement has a tendency to swing too far in the other direction. In my opinion, such is the case with feminism. Developed to prioritize the unmet needs of women at large, its principles and its programs served to meet those needs. This was (and is) a praiseworthy goal. However, something happened on the way to that goal: the needs of men at large often went unheeded or even denigrated. Just as in the case of the opposite, both parties were unsatisfied.

Alison Armstrong's "Keys to the Kingdom" is part of a new movement: a laudable attempt to swing the pendulum back the other way, toward a happy middle ground.

How does the twenty-first century American woman live in peace with her husband? By accepting three things that many of our foremothers realized almost instinctively: 1) men and women develop in ways that are fundamentally different from each other, 2) stemming from those differences, men and women have different expectations from each other, and 3) neither is happy living life with each other unless those expectations are met to a reasonable degree.

In her novel, Armstrong ably demonstrates these facts of life. Her protagonist, Karen, has been married to Mike for several years but is becoming distressed by the lack of ability to communicate between the two. An older woman, Claudia, comes into her life and helps her to understand the "secrets" about men; those that have been handed down matrilineally in Claudia's family. Claudia teaches Karen that her husband's needs are just as important as her own, that they change as a man ages.

The most enlightening part of the novel (for me) had Claudia explaining to Karen of the stages of develop for men. After reading these parts, I began to apply the characteristics of the stages to the men in my own life and found that they fit nearly to a tee. Behavior that I had previously found inexplicably--viewed through my female sensibilities--began to make sense.

Armstrong is to be commended. She has done a great service for both men and women: increased their chances of being happy.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars DEAD ON ACCURATE, November 27, 2006

By 

Richard Iazzetta "Truth-seeker" (Oak Park, Ca United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Keys to the Kingdom (Paperback)

A few weeks ago, my wife told me that she thought I was "thoughtless." I was really surprised at that statement as I feel I go out of my way to try and make her happy and to make her life easier. I found this book and could not believe how accurate it was about how men think. And while there were times during the reading that i was thinking that it feels like it was all about "men," in fact, the suggestions will greatly help women.

I fully recommend this book to anybody tring to understand how most men think.