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2.0 out of 5 stars
This is an awful film. Bollywood, I'm about to smack you upside the head., July 5, 2007
This review is from: Khullam Khulla Pyaar Karen (DVD)
I've been lucky so far. I got into Bollywood about a year and a half ago, and, so far, the ratio of truly good films versus bad films is something like 4 to 1, discounting the host of mediocre films which falls in between. The ones which truly appalled me were (yes, I'm gonna link them for you; misery loves company)
Jeans,
Awara Paagal Deewana, and
Ishq. And, now, KHULLAM KHULLA PYAAR KAREN.
The plot: In ordering his two combative gangster lieutenants to put a halt to their constant bickerings, a powerful underworld don goes one step further. He demands that their respective offsprings marry each other, thus forcing his lieutenants to become relations. But, when the son of one gangster gives a lift to a fast-talking, ex-travel agency worker named Raja (Govinda), it results in an automobile mishap. In the resulting fiasco, Raja is assumed to be the gangster's son, and Raja rolls with the misconception. Indeed, Raja finds himself in a position too advantageous to pass up, and, shortly after, the other gangster's daughter, Priti (Preity Zinta), falls in love with her "fiance." But, now, look who's coming home, limping and rumpled looking?
KHULLAM KHULLA PYAAR KAREN (which must be Hindi for "Just put down that dvd, Karen!") intended to be a romantic comedy, but, no. The romance falls flat on its face, the comedy is crude and lame. Preity Zinta, who could've been the movie's saving grace if given more of a role and if the movie's crap factor hadn't been so insurmountable, enters the scene 10 minutes into the screening and promptly gets sucked into all the migraine-inducing awfulness. She has absolutely zero chemistry with her male lead Govinda, which is an indictment on Govinda, because Preity's outgoing personality is such that she usually builds a good rapport with her love interest. But, this film being early in Preity's career, I don't hold it against her. I'm actually giving one extra star to this rotter because she's in it, even if minimally. I just wish I could travel back in time to give her some aspirin.
And now, Govinda. It's hard enough to envision this slightly chubby buffoon in a romantic lead role as it is, but it doesn't help that he's also mind-blowingly grating in his performance. Govinda's character professes to be inordinately lucky and is something of a scam artist. Some folks can pull off a sly, rascally, and obnoxious role like this and still be engaging. But not so, Govinda. He plays such shameful tricks on people throughout the film and exudes such an air of smugness that he never did get on my good side. Govinda is annoying in his glibness, unconvincing in his romancing, and disconcerting in his tendency to literally disappear in the middle of a scene (I'm not kidding, he goes *poof* like magic). He's ridiculous. Late in the film, I actually started rooting for his rival, the gangster's real son. Please, never, ever put Govinda into feature films again.
The other actors are negligible and add to the film's disobliging nature with their characters' scripted obtuseness. Two of the bit part players actually prove to be as irritating and over the top as Govinda. The film mistakenly places some of its comedic hopes on the dubious and limp Satish Kaushik as a thick-as-a-plank bodyguard-in-law and on Johnny Lever as a goon with a squinting problem. Too, the story is strewn with ineffectual gags involving a drunken road blackmailer, a blindfold to ward off ill fate, a wandering mole on someone's back, and the multiple tearing of shirts. The premise is nothing new and actually could've been interesting, if assigned the right director, cast, and script. But, as it is, it plays like a bad amateur skit. When a character returns from the distant Himalayas, it really does seem as if he'd just stepped off from backstage. Being a stubborn cuss, I did manage to watch the entire film, but in four separate installments as I could only stomach only so much for so long. Thanks solely to Preity Zinta's presence, I powered thru. But, now, my blood pressure's up to an alarming level.
Lest I accidentally put this unholy crapfest in my dvd player again, I decided to discard the dvd case and use the disc as a coaster. My drink slid off it. This film really is useless.
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