Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining Power [Paperback]

Rhona Mahony (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0465085946 | ISBN-13: 978-0465085941 | Publication Date: May 17, 1996

Why do so many smart, career-oriented, even ardently feminist women end up with nearly sole responsibility for running their households and raising their children? Why does it happen even in couples who had promised to share that work equally? Kidding Ourselves traces the decisions that women and men make—usually unwittingly—before and after marriage, and especially after the birth of a child, that lead inevitably to an old-fashioned division of labor at home. It also explains why change is necessary. As long as nearly all men devote themselves first and foremost to paying work, they will on average outearn women, who reduce their hours and travel in their paying job once they have a child. With this groundbreaking book, Rhona Mahony suggests practical ways to bring men into child raising and end the unfair burden of women’s second shift.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Lawyer and freelance journalist Mahony argues that women will attain high-skill, high-wage, high-status jobs only after the unequal gender division of labor in the home has melted away. Both a stimulating feminist critique and an empowering handbook for those seeking real, practical equality between women and men, this highly accessible book uses game theory and case histories of marriages to show how women can change the balance of power through negotiating strategies to persuade their men to do more housework and accept parenting responsibilities. Mahony also uses cross-cultural studies of fathers in traditional cultures (Malaysia, Trobriand Islands, etc.) and of babies raised by men in two-parent families in Sweden, Australia, the U.S. and Israel in support of her thesis that men can be just as tender and competent parents as women.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

An empowering book that shows how, despite their advances in the workplace, women still end up assuming nearly all the responsibility for home and children--and provides time-tested tools and strategies to bring about change. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Basic Books (May 17, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0465085946
• ISBN-13: 978-0465085941
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.7 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,833,269 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good book to make you think - whether you agree or not, November 14, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining Power (Paperback)

This starts a dialogue on some of the issues facing dual earner couples. Clearly geared toward the 35-45 year old crowd. Younger women may feel alienated by some of the assumptions that she makes. A great place to start looking at some of the issues yourself, whether or not you agree with her final analysis.

For those brought up in a milieu that expected women to do primary parenting, this will be shocking and controversial. She argues that a main issue is whether or not women will let men take care of children. Whether you agree or not with the outcome - she brings up questions that we all should be asking ourselves about the nature of "fairness" and "gender equality vs equity" - as well as who is really holding back women now?

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The thinking woman's baby shower gift, September 20, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, and Bargaining Power (Paperback)

This is a stellar book and will especially resonate with women who have studied economics, law or negotiation. Mahony uses common frameworks (for instance, BATNA - best alternative to no agreement) to analyze the day to day choices parents make. She comes up with some powerful suggestions for change. Don't "marry up" if you want a career, marry someone who will not make as many professional demands on your family life -- maybe someone who makes less money. There's a radical idea for most professional women. Buy this for your feminist MBA friends.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very informative, with good advice, November 7, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Kidding Ourselves: Breadwinning, Babies, And Bargaining Power (Hardcover)

It's too bad that this book is out of print and
(to judge by the few reviews) apparently not widely-read.
It provides what are perhaps the first and only
published guidelines for working toward economic and
political parity in marriages where there is a
part-time or full-time stay-at-home mom. Buy this
book first, before you read all the other books
on transitioning fronm workplace to home.