Customer Reviews

The Kids Are All Right: A Memoir

5 star:		(51)
4 star:		(36)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(9)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

My acid test for reading is dependent on one thing: CAN IT KEEP MY ATTENTION FOR 20 MINUTES. If I can get through the first 20 minutes, in all probablity the book will be at least 3* worthy. That said, this book is definitely 5+*.
A very rough synopsis for this book might begin: This is the story of the trials and tribulations of 4 children from an affluent suburb of NYC preceding the deaths of their ruggedly handsome father and their soap opera star mother. It takes the reader through their individual battles to survive after they are separated physically and how they prevail and are brought together again.
On the basis of my mini-review one might assume that this is a pretty melodramatic or sacharine sweet story mimicing the 1957 heartbreaker movie ALL MINE TO GIVE. One might also assume that the now adult kids have been cruelly traumatized by all the events beyond their control. Does this sound like a potential movie for TV? It should, but it isn't all maudlin and sappy.
As for family, this one may not be exactly traditional and certainly might be disturbing to some readers. However, it is an interesting family and these 'kids' do manage to turn out o.k.
The 5* rating is based in part upon the process used to tell this story. All 4 Welsh siblings have contributed to this memoir and their story is told from separate and distinct points of view. It is imbued with a fair amount of humor and a dash of sadness and it is in a certain sense their coming-of-age story. In spite of their physical separations from one another and a lot of rough patches while growing up, what really impressed me was how they managed to come together as a family again.
The writing style was definitely a plus for me. It was very casual/conversational. I felt that rather than just reading this, I was in a room with them and they were recounting the events that lead them to this point in their lives.
Interestingly enough, the soap opera diva mama was a real person. As a kid I used to watch soap operas with my grandma and was well-familiar with her. While the 'kids' might describe her as glamorous, my take on her tv persona was regal. However, I had no idea what had become of her. So it was with a lot of interest that I got a look at this lady through the eyes of her family and that certainly went a long way into buying into this memoir. However, ultimately it was the story and style which grabbed my attention immediately.
I don't always recommend books, but this one is a serious keeper.

This is easily the best book I've read all year. I couldn't put it down and read it in two days despite a busy schedule. I laughed and I cried, and I can't remember the last time I was so moved by a story. The concept was amazing: four siblings recount life as it was before and after their patriarch's death. The writing is spectacular, and four clear voices emerge: Amanda, the rebellious elder child who seeks escape but tries to hold things together in her own way. Liz, the uber-responsible substitute mother who has a secret life. Danny: the happy-go-lucky charmer who turns hardcore delinquent. Diana, the lovable, youngest and most vulnerable family member who is literally separated from the Welches for a time in the turmoil and aftermath of their mother's death. This book underscores how vulnerable we all are, especially as children, and what family means not only in terms of emotional and spiritual identity, but also the tangibles of life: food, clothing, shelter, money. What can go awry when oversight fails, when four children are basically left to fend for themselves? The book doesn't shy away from painful realities:the struggles the family faced as new roles were created by necessity, the rage, self-medication, and resentments that people face without a safety net. The chapters on the slow decline of their valiant mother are real and painful. Tell the truth, and people will listen. The caveat that the truth is subjective at the introduction makes the story all the more compelling. The Welches are more than all right. They are survivors with a wicked sense of humor, and you will be rooting for them from beginning to end. They have succeeded in making their parents shine with life and vitality even though these charismatic figures left the stage far too early. The stark, bitter, brutal truths told in this tale are unforgettable because it so clearly reflects reality. The good, the bad, and everything in between...Life! Scars remain, but they march forward.

I loved this book and read it straight through in one sitting -- 5 straight hours until 3am and could not put it down. Near the end I cried in particular for the injustices inflicted on Diana Welch as she struggles to come back to the family with whom she always knew she belonged. I absolutely loved the round robin of chapters switching between these four very different people and thought it was the perfect way to convey this very raw, sad, and honest portrayal of a real family -- two flawed but loving parents - not so great on dealing with reality in the first place -- who then make a series of choices, sending their children down a path that ends with the kids on their own or spread to different homes at such tender ages. That not a single note of this story comes off as over-privileged or whiny or even angry at their parents (or even all that angry at the woman who adopted and mistreated Diana) is a testament to how great the Welch kids did turn out, despite it all. Reading it as a parent of two kids, it takes my breath away too.
The writing in all sections is just flawless and perfectly toned to the different kids. You would never mistake a Dan section for a Diana one, or Liz's voice for Amanda's. And the two authors make that very tricky narrative device seem effortless. It is very clear-eyed and matter of fact, but heartbreaking at the same time. I just loved the way this story was told, so much so that I cannot imagine it being done as well any other way.
In some ways the things that happen to them are quite ordinary - wealthy suburban kids dabbling in drinking and drugs and sex, and issues of self-esteem and identity, screwing up in school, talking back and acting out - none of that is really new. But what is different here is the lens through which all they had to deal with life is so singular and lonely. Liz was watching their mom die while becoming homecoming queen, stealing the family car to get groceries because her little sister needed to eat, rather than go joyriding with friends, Dan was lying in a closet pretending to disappear. They were just carrying on, but the burden they shouldered without their parents love and stewardship, even if that parenting was sometimes screwy and misguided, is just heartbreaking. I remember experiencing so many of the same emotions that these kids sometimes went through, but the difference was I had a safety net and still do - I could retreat into the protection and love of my family. They were on a highwire - and then they were on that wire alone.
I am not an avid reader of memoir as I think sometimes the shiftiness of narrative devices becomes just so obvious in "agenda-driven" personal writing (see Eggers, A Heartbreaking Work...). I like the magic of fiction to make narrators colorful and see how perspective shifts in the art of storytelling. What I loved about this book is that with the storytelling device of all four Welch kids gave it the resonance, humanity and even humor of great fiction; it made the voices so rich and compelling. This book is just gorgeously done. What a gem.

I have heard this book compared to The Glass Castle, which I adored, so naturally I picked this up. Unlike many reviewers here, I was not instantly enraptured by this book and I found myself drifting off while reading it on numerous different occasions. It isn't that this book is poorly written - it isn't. The weaving of four points of view to create one narrative actually works very well, though it sounds a bit gimmicky at first. The problem is that I couldn't find a reason why this book needed to be written. I'm a sucker for an extraordinary life story, I always wonder how I would survive and handle the same situation were I in it, but there was nothing very striking about this particular story.

Perhaps I am jaded by the other memoirs out there that are truly exceptional, but I kept asking myself: why is this story any different from the millions of other difficult childhoods that we all experience. At first it seemed as though the story of the father's death (Murder? Suicide? Accident?) would be an apex, but it wasn't. Then the arc of the Hollywood connections held a promise but ended up trailing off. Even the point of the story - siblings separated by death come together in the end and triumph - never really developed. Instead, the story walks a steady but uninspiring path, coming to an abrupt and unsatisfying ending. There might be a story or two inside of this book worth developing, but as a whole, this book failed to truly reach its potential.

I could not put this book down. This was a touching recollection of stories from the Welch family children. I found the story heart-warming at times and heart-wrenching at others. This is a story of a journey that none of us would want for ourselves or our children. After reading this book, many of us will vow to get our living trusts in order and make our wishes very clear.

The struggle to keep the kids in contact with each other and connected comes through at every turn. I was disturbed greatly by the older kids drug use and lifestyles. I kept wondering how different things could have been (but not necessarily- we'll never know) if their parents had been able to raise them. The youngest daughter is separated completely and yearns for her brother and sisters constantly.

Though this book is difficult at times, it is absolutely worth reading. It is raw and honest... told from each kid's viewpoint.

One last thought: This book really made me think about how difficult it is to bring a child into your home. While intentions may be good at the beginning, how does one handle a heartbroken teen who is on drugs and pulling your own kids into a lifestyle which is not in line with your own family values? This book raised many difficult questions for me. This would be an excellent book for discussion.

Why is it so hard to be honest? Is it pressure from the outside world? Guilt? Self-doubt? Whatever it might be, like the miracle of an eclipse, the four Welch siblings were able to align themselves, telling their stories in one complete book that flows as if it was written by one person. But each sibling--Diana, Dan, Liz, and Amanda--has a distinct voice and a distinct story to tell. Sometimes the stories agree; other times they contradict. This difference in memory serves two purposes, both of which reinforced my belief that there are still true stories that can be told, and sold, without Frey-sian embellishment. For one, these contradictions prove that each of us has our own version of a shared memory, based on how old we were, what kind of mental state we were in, so on and so forth. The second purpose the contradictions serve is that they validate this story. Why would the Welches choose to disagree with one another? Clearly, they wrote from a reflective place. And after finishing the book--300 pages in 3 nights; I could not put it down--I have the utmost respect for all four of them. When they reflected, they didn't hide behind surface events and emotions. They dived deep down to a place I have, fortunately, never had to go.

Why is it so hard to be honest? Not because of what others might think of us, but because of what we will, upon admission, finally know about ourselves. In "The Kids Are All Right," Diana, Dan, Liz, and Amanda tell a very personal story in a very personal way and I respect their efforts. I recommend their book.

Some bonds can never be broken. The four children of Ann Williams and Robert Welch have proved that in this stunning book. The most tragic of circumstances were visited on them when they were young.

It was devastating enough to lose their adored father in a car accident. But before that shock had time to wear off, they were dealt another horrendous blow. When their mother was diagnosed with cancer, just a month after becoming a widow, it seemed their world was truly crumbling.

Ann Williams, a beautiful soap opera actress, was a woman of uncommon strength. She fought her cancer with a vengeance, and did her best to provide for her children, even in the midst of tremendous financial pressures. To her credit, before she died, she managed to leave them with a trust fund that would help fund their educations.

Somehow, these resilient kids made it. Through the dark times of confusion, despair, and grief, they kept on, putting one foot in front of the other. The most wrenching aspects of their existence come as they deal with their mother's death and the aftermath, as they are farmed out to various families, and start dealing with the harsh realties of their new lives.

Amanda, the oldest, on the day her mother died, was presented with a checkbook to start paying the bills, by the family lawyer.

The three youngest children, Liz, 16, Dan, 14, and Diana, 8, have a tough adjustment as they find themselves in strange surroundings. Liz goes to the Stewarts, the parents of her friend, Daisy. At school, Liz is steered into a `Children who Lost Their Parents" group by a social worker, which only adds to her feelings of being "different".

Dan ends up with a college friend of his father's, who Dan barely knew.

Diana's life will be spent with the Chamberlain's. She is to become a big sister to Margaret and William, yet she never quite fits in.

The use of their separate voices and different recollections of events is very effective. The brutal honesty and deep emotion here, honors this story of the love between parents and siblings.

The fact that these kids come through intact, and (eventually) back together, is a testament to their loving parents, the roots and values they instilled, and to the bonds that bind family together. A great story, that is full of hope. Very highly recommended.

The personal memoir is a favorite genre of mine and THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is right up there among my favorites in this category.

I like this book very much for several reasons, one being the technique of using four narratives and their individual perspectives to speak collectively as one voice, in this case a family of four orphaned children. It is a technique I have enjoyed often in fiction and find it also works successfully and well in the telling of the Welch family story.

Although the eldest sister Amanda and the only brother Dan do not contribute as much volume in the way of the narratives as sisters Liz and Diana do, there is still a wonderful cohesiveness which draws the reader into the tragedies and triumphs of this remarkable family.

Their story is told with intense honesty, creating an intimate effect which allows the reader to really relate to the Welch "kids". I think too that the many 80's references (as to music for one example) are a particularly nice touch which also helps many readers like myself really connect with the kids and get pulled more closely into their world, to see as they see, to hear as they hear, to feel as they feel.

Theirs is a story of loss ~ the loss of their much adored, dashing father in a mysterious and even suspicious fatal car crash; the loss of their security and a lifestyle of wealth and privilege following his death; the loss of their beautiful, beloved mother, first to her grief in the death of her husband and then to her long and tortuous battle with cancer; finally the loss of all that is left of the loving family ~ each other.

It is a story of pain and heartache, of depression and despair, of alienation and abandonment. Yet it is also a story of self-determination and strength of character, perseverance and family loyalty. Above all it is a story about love. I found it very moving in the telling, deeply touching and heart wrenching at times, yet humorous and light at others. That the Welch kids not only manage to individually survive their tragedies and difficulties but triumph over them as a loving, tightly bonded family makes their story highly readable and all the more endearing. I think the title they chose for this memoir is perfect.

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is indeed a deeply moving celebration of family, one I am very eager to recommend.

Enter the unpredictable world of the unsinkable Welch children. Losing one's father suddenly can unhinge anyone's world. The Welch children barely had time to catch their breath after their father's death before they started losing their mother slowly to cancer.

This is a simultaneously frightening and triumphant book. As a parent it is scary watching the children descend into the abyss as they tried find their way in the world. And what a relief it is to watch them emerge better and stronger in spite of trials and missteps of youth.

The Welch children lived a lifetime in their childhood alone. And never once do you hear them whine or complain. I respect their determination and amazing inability to feel sorry for themselves.

I also find it to be a somewhat cautionary tale, although I'm sure they didn't intend it to be. I kept thinking, "Parents everywhere, be VERY careful who you select as guardians for your children (should the worst actually happen)."

This was an excellent read. I could not put it down.

I normally read several books at one time-moving between the different stories as I feel suites me at the moment. But, once I started "The Kids are All Right", I couldn't put it down! I read it at every opportunity,carried it with me in the car, in case I had any waiting time. I loved it!
This could have been my family, except my parents are alive and married, except I have all sisters and we were never jerked around by life as children or adults. But, I could still identify with the characters and their stores. I especially liked that each child told it's own side of the situation as it was happening, allowing the reader to feel each individual thought and feeling as it was happening. I loved it!