Most helpful positive review
309 of 314 people found the following review helpful
on February 2, 2000
Reading parenting books is practically a secret addiction of mine -- I read about one a month, sometimes more, and have read dozens since my son was born. Barbara Coloroso's Kids Are Worth It!(a great book) has held first place on my favorites list for the last three years, but Mary Kurcinka just knocked her off with Kids, Parents and Power Struggles. This is the best parenting book I've ever read and I highly, highly recommend it. I think the title was a little misleading -- the book wasn't as much about power struggles as it was about learning how to help your kids handle their emotions appropriately. It's also heavily oriented (not surprisingly, from the author of Raising Your Spirited Child) toward understanding your individual child -- his or her needs, temperament,and personality and how those factors affect behavior. The content is great. And the delivery is also wonderful. Kurcinka's writing style is clear, informative, thoughtful -- and fun!
I first reviewed this book nine years ago. I said at the time that I was addicted to parenting books. After this book, my addiction ended. I think it was because I felt like I had the tools I needed. I haven't read a parenting book in years.
So my son is a teenager now. He's not an adult, so I can't really say that I'm done raising him--who knows what the next few years might bring? But as I look around me at the other teenagers we know and at their relationships with their parents and their behaviors, and then look at my son, I am beyond grateful for Ms. Kurcinka and what she taught me about being a parent.
My teenager is--a teenager. He has his moments when the hormones take control and he's rude or hostile. But then he apologizes. He understands his emotions, he knows when he's behaved badly, he knows how to communicate about his feelings, how to express his limits politely and acknowledge when he was wrong. He needs reminders to do his chores, but then he does them without complaint, without even the eye-rolling that every other teenager seems to have mastered. He gets loud and boisterous, because hey, he's a teenage boy, and they do that--but I can literally just widen my eyes at him and he knows that I want him to take it down a notch. He is amazing with his younger cousins, responsible and careful and tolerant and attentive, and really, the best babysitter that anyone could want--and how many people can say that about their teenage boys? I said to his grandmother one day recently, I wonder what he'll be like as an adult? and she said one word, AWESOME. I don't think that's 100% this book--Kids Are Worth It! was great, too, and certainly it took a lot of work on my part to become the parent that KPPS suggests it's worth being...but having made the journey, I am grateful every day that I learned what I did from this book. And if you're looking for help, give it a try.