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I Killed: True Stories of the Road from America's Top Comics [Kindle Edition]

Ritch Shydner , Mark Schiff
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (55 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.00
Kindle Price: $9.99
You Save: $5.01 (33%)
Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

In a hilarious look at real life on the comedy circuit, some of America's most famous comics share their own stories of life on the road, gigs gone wrong, and unexpected, zany moments, with contributions by Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, Mike Myers, Bill Maher, Joan Rivers, Jeff Foxworthy, and others.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Some of the funniest—and most outrageous—stories a comedian has don't get told onstage. They're passed around after hours and derive from the bizarre intersection of travel, intoxicants and the colorful characters on the fringes of the comedy world. (A little poverty can't hurt—the best stories from "top comics" often come from the early days.) In this collection, Ron Shock tells of being goaded by outlaw comic Bill Hicks into dropping acid before a show, infuriating the audience and escaping just in time. Jay Leno recounts how he accidentally left a groupie tied to her bed overnight—and she loved it. Black comic Alonzo Bodden recalls ripping into a redneck from the stage and having audience members tell him later that his target ran the local Klan. Shydner, early in his career, performed regularly at a variety of bars around Washington, D.C., and found himself opening for a riled-up audience eager to see the Ramones. He suffered through a "beer shower," and one of the Ramones thought that was his act: human beer sponge. Jerry Seinfeld, in his foreword, calls comedy "one of the Great Jobs"; this volume makes for excellent bathroom reading—and that's a compliment. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Product Details

  • File Size: 510 KB
  • Print Length: 290 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 030738229X
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype; Reprint edition (January 21, 2009)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0024NP5DI
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #329,961 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
18 of 18 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Really fun read October 3, 2006
The Publishers' Weekly review on this page says this book is fantastic "bathroom reading." I guess they mean that it's perfect for people who don't always have time to sit down and read for an hour or two at a stretch. Because the stories in here are so short, it's easy to read for ten minutes, get a few complete stories and good chuckles, and then put the book down for next time. There are well over a hundred stories in here so if you read the book this way it'll last you for a while!

The feeling of the book is a bit like the documentary The Aristocrats-- you get the feeling that the comics are not "performing" but just sitting back and exchanging their favorite crazy stories. Not all the stories are hilarious, but most of them are very entertaining and there are some that will stick in my mind for a LONG time. Some of the stuff these guys confess to is great--Chris Rock talking about call girls, Tom Arnold about murdering goldfish, many, many stories of one-night stands and drug use. I think my favorite story has to be Doug Stanhope's one about the 5-dollar streetwalker who turns out to have a couple of surprises hidden away. I also loved the one about the comic's mother and Rodney Dangerfield.

This is also a good book for anyone interested in the history of comedy--along with all the contemporary stuff, there are lots of stories about legendary comedy greats like Rodney Dangerfield, Johnny Carson, Richard Pryor, Andy Kaufman (Bob Zmuda contributes a great story about the Tony Clifton character).

This book doesn't go for the gross-out humor nearly as much as The Aristocrats did, but because it shows comics talking how they REALLY talk, it is definitely PG-13 or R-rated. But if you don't need your humor to be squeaky, sit-com clean (I certainly dont) then you will really get a kick out of this book.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Warning Label October 4, 2006
A warning label should be posted on this book: Please allocate 4-6 hours of time before opening this book. You will not be able to put it down. I truly enjoyed this compilation of stories from the comedy trenches.

It will give me a lot more fodder for the next time I talk with these stand up road warriors. Buy it, and enjoy it.

Rik Anthony

National Host

All Star Radio Networks
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Will Not Be Able To Put It Down!!!!! October 22, 2006
As soon as I started reading this book, I could not put it down. I quickly was engrossed in story after story of interesting anecdotes as to a comic's true life on the road. There are definitely some chuckles in this very entertaining book, but the reader will quickly be deeply engrossed in the faceted sides of comedy, and to the totally unknown non-glamorous side of being a stand-up comic. If I ever had illusions of being a comedian and basking in the applause and endearments of the audience, these illusions have disappeared. This is definitely not a life for the sensitive personality. By the middle of the book I felt as if I knew all of the comedians personally, and I could comprehend their varied experiences and anguishes of being on the road.

I can easily visualize this book as a weekly television series of comedian's experiences on the road.

I am sure that there are many more stories which the authors have up their sleeves, and I anxiously await book 2 which I would call "I Killed Again".

The authors are to be congratulated.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Material from the Road February 16, 2007
I can manage saying something now and then to make someone else laugh. And I while I don't do much in the way of public performance, I don't have anything like stage fright. But I got shivers of anxiety when reading some of the stories in _I Killed: True Stories from the Road from America's Top Comics_ (Crown Publishers) by Ritch Shydner and Mark Schiff. There is a strong prospect of anxiety in anticipation of being shoved onto a stage with the assignment of getting laughs from a paying audience, perhaps an audience that would feel itself better entertained if you fell flat on your face, and is willing to take steps to make this happen. The anxiety is apparent in the title of the book, the comics' aggressive cry of success, of victory over an opposition seated on the other side of the footlights. Yet the anxiety feeds back into the humor; most of the stories here are better labeled "I Died", for they are not success stories at all. But the stories of failure here are resurrected into funny stories that are bound to get laughs this time around. These true stories (true, but no doubt colored in varying degrees by the tellers, scores of now-famous comics) are a wonderful record by practitioners of a very peculiar art form.

Many of these stories come as memories of the bad old days when the comics were just starting out and if the pay was forthcoming (it wasn't always) it was measly. Many stories here involve getting stiffed of a paycheck and perhaps therefore having to sneak back into the club late at night just to have a place to sleep. Plenty of the clubs you would not want to sleep in; Judy Tenuta remembers, "It's the winter of 1981 in Chicago, with maybe ten people in the audience, when a rat (the four-legged kind) runs across the stage.
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20 of 27 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars An X-Rated "All in a Day's Work" October 10, 2006
There is very little comic insight in this book. A collection of short tales of debauchery and wild drug use that road comics would tell each other, the book makes a normal person feel like a rube who bought a ticket to the freak show. (Yes, there is just a hint of envy in that last statement.) Some of the stories are funny, in a "Porky's" sort of ashamed-that-I'm-laughing way.

Having said that, there are some high points in the book: Heath Hyche's "The N-Word Wins"; Steven Alan Green's "Spartacus Finally Gets a Laugh"; Larry the Cable Guy's story about John Fox; Dennis Blair's "My Mom Loves George Carlin." If you think of comics sitting around a table at the Waffle House at 3:00 a.m., swapping stories, then you'll get the idea. That may be the book's weak spot: it's geared toward other comics.

The reason I gave I KILLED only three stars is because it didn't really satisfy. Emotionally, the reader goes back and forth from awe to disgust to sad to inspired. If they released the DVD of this book, with the comedians telling the stories, I'd probably buy it, because I believe that how you tell these stories is the key to making them more entertaining. It just barely worked as a book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars some are gross and some are not particularly funny but it is totally...
most of the stories are hysterical, some are gross and some are not particularly funny but it is totally worth getting!
Published 1 month ago by David Ackerman
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting but it should have been so much more.
Left me wanting more depth and stories.
Published 4 months ago by wndjmr
4.0 out of 5 stars Not what I expected
The book was well written but was not what I expected. It isn't the authors was all mine. Some of the stories were wildly hilarious, others were very touching. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars couldn't have loved it more
If you like comedy you will love this book. Great stories from a huge variety of comics. There were literally some laugh out loud moments.
Published 10 months ago by Patrick A. Coicou
5.0 out of 5 stars Americas Top Comic
Funny & honest read by a great comedian !! Great stories of the road and dead ends of the Comedians world !
Published 14 months ago by Ed Davis
5.0 out of 5 stars great book
I really liked the variety of stories presented in this volume. It certainly gives the impression that life on the comedy road is less then glamorous. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Michael H. Wellins
1.0 out of 5 stars Not funny at all!
These are probably true stories about their experiences on the road, but the stories are definitely not very funny at all!
Published 20 months ago by Jeannie
5.0 out of 5 stars Required reading for any fan of comedy.
Stories of almost every kind: from embarrassing to grim, from laugh-out-loud funny to inspirational. Gives more than every reason to not go on the road as a traveling comic. Read more
Published 21 months ago by S. Schott
5.0 out of 5 stars laugh so hard you'll cry
which makes it physically difficult to read momentarily. the look inside feature sold me on this book very quickly. Read more
Published on December 23, 2011 by Kirk W. Jorn
4.0 out of 5 stars Fun Read
This is a fun, interesting book to read. I will warn that I didn't find it to really be funny, if that's what you're looking for...but the road stories are very interesting. Read more
Published on October 15, 2011 by Thomas A. Brady
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