Customer Reviews

To Kindle a Soul: Ancient Wisdom for Modern Parents and Teachers

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Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen is also the author of two highly recommended books in defense of the historical Jewish faith: _Permission to Believe_ and _Permission to Receive_. But this extraordinary book may be his best to date.

In this thoroughly researched and very sensitively written volume, R. Kelemen is concerned to bring out the pedagogical insights that have long informed Jewish tradition -- which has survived for some three thousand years, so its insights on childrearing must be worth _something_, right?

The tone and approach are both well captured by the image on the cover; R. Kelemen writes with exquisite gentleness and is concerned above all with parenting by example. And in good traditional fashion (very much in accordance with the teachings of the Musar movement), he insists that there is no easy "technique" for learning to become a better parent; the thing to do is to work on becoming a better _person_.

So without presuming to present an exhaustive treatise, he takes the reader on a guided tour/overview of the traditional Jewish approach to parenthood: don't yell or spank, set an example. And -- as such a subject requires -- R. Kelemen makes his case with about twenty parts compassion for each part of stern correction.

But that stern correction is there, and this full-of-heart book also has a backbone of steel. In his closing chapter, for example, he takes on a topic that might at first glance seem out of place in a book on a three-thousand-year religious tradition: the hazards of television.

It's actually not out of place at all; as R. Kelemen reminds us, a group of very traditional Jewish scholars reported on these hazards some thirty years ago, and they are (or should be) of direct concern to parents everywhere. The entire approach is very much in the spirit of traditional strictures to watch what one allows into one's home and make sure it's spiritually uplifting.

TV, R. Kelemen argues, doesn't qualify -- and he cites the research to prove it. Even such apparently educational mainstays as "Sesame Street" have a grave downside, for example in their effects on attention span. Today, when kids are given Ritalin almost as readily as cold medicine, R. Kelemen deserves a close listen.

Some parents may disagree with some of R. Kelemen's conclusions. For that matter, I myself _might_ be willing to acknowledge that his case against TV looks too much at one side and not enough at the other. But on the other hand, it's surely important that the case be made as strongly as possible -- and I don't know of anywhere else it's made at all, let alone as thoroughly as it is here.

If you're a parent, get this book at once. There's plenty of excellent advice here, and it doesn't just apply to Jewish households.

Kelemen has written a wonderful guidebook for parents who want their kids to grow up physically and emotionally healthy, normal and happy. While he quotes hundreds of recent studies (footnotes section is lengthy), the book is easy to read, even a little bit at a time. The traditional Jewish angle on parenting is helpful (Jews have always been admired for the way they bring up their kids and teach their students), but the main thing is the good practical advice that comes out from the ancient principles.

Definitely worth it

This is an excellent text for someone looking for a single volume on the basics of parenting. He provides answers to all the hard questions, from bedtime to tantrums, etc. He also provides a simple system for understanding how to move our children from where they are behaviorally and cognitively to where they need to be. He cites a tremendous among of data verifying the effectiveness of his approach, although it is obvious to anyone with commonsense that his approach will work. I have been using his system for a few weeks, and so far I am VERY satisfied with the results. I have read other parenting books, but nothing has actually worked as well as this.

At long last we have the perfect union between profound wisdom and the best of modern day parenting. The lovely Mr. Keleman starts with the correct values and then gives us parenting behaviors that anyone can implement. The authour reveals the way to create a fullfilling family life. This books provides the tools necessary for those parents who want to raise children able to resist commercialism and physical, mental and spiritual malaise. The religion of TV idolatry has been exposed.

This is an amazing book. This book provides the support I have been looking for. I have never been able to successfully defend my position when questioned about why my husband and I are so restrictive about screen time and will not give our children Game Boys. There are plenty of research studies referenced in this book to more than adequately support our stand.

Additionally, I read the sleep requirements chapter to my 9 year old son... and he has been going right to sleep when it is his bed time. I think that the quote from the study that said, something like... Sleep deficiency makes you stupid... was what did it.

You will love this book.

This is a useful book for teenagers to read too! He talks about working on yourself and developing good habits - definately something we teenagers have to work on. I loved it and it helped me change a lot of areas in my life.

I work in education, and I know of 3 elementary schools and one high school that are changing their whole programs to match the prescriptions in this book. All four schools are requiring their teachers to read the book before school begins next September. I have also heard of about a half dozen parent-support groups based on the To-Kindle-a-Soul model that have sprouted up around the country. I'm using Kelemen's system at home and in my classroom, and, what can I say? It works! It works better than anything I have ever seen!

It's a crime for teachers and parents not to look over this book. And anyone who looks at it - whether their politics is Right or Left, and regardless of religious or non-religious orientation - will be blown away by what Kelemen has to say. He is so sensible, clear, and practical.

My friends and I see this as the beginning of a revolution.

The strength of the book is in articulating and supporting its view of the basics, such as enough sleep, good diet, nurturing and loving environment and yes, no TV (the last point perhaps would go right to the heart of a modern family). In this age of supercharging kids with advanced educational techniques, these staples of child raring are increasingly likely to get overlooked.

The advice about insuring your child's full night sleep struck a special chord with me. Indeed, most of us can only spend any meaningful time with the kids in the late evening after work, which means that the hour of their going to bed is likely to be pushed back. Another point that surprisingly rarely appears in parenting literature is that it is difficult to give what you do not have, so to raise our kids' aspirations we must first become better people ourselves.

The book does a great job supporting its advice with the data from modern medical and sociological research. By comparison, it does not go to the same lengths showing the links with the Jewish tradition.

Overall, it serves as a good reminder of what should be the basics of parenting, but what in practice becomes so difficult to sustain.

I found kelemen's book a change from the ordinary 'spend quality time with your kids stuff'.
Firstly it offers real practical advice. Secondly it's got a load of scientific evidence to back up the ideas presented (having said that, its the type of book your grandmother would have told you was common sense and everybody in her day knew all of it naturally). Thirdly the author brings in a lot of ancient wisdom, which i find very appealing.

Child Development is my field. I hold two masters degress in related fields - education and marriage, child and family counseling. This is the best book I have ever read on the subject of raising children.

The research has been done, so that a parent can know and understand the waking and sleeping health, including mental health, needs of their child. They can find the best methods to discipline their chldren. They will be more aware of the best ways to socialize them as well. Five stars to the best.