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The Kindness of Children [Paperback]

Vivian Gussin Paley (Author)
3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 2, 2000 067400390X 978-0674003903

Visiting a London nursery school, Vivian Paley observes the schoolchildren's reception of another visitor, a handicapped boy named Teddy, who is strapped into a wheelchair, wearing a helmet, and barely able to speak. A predicament arises, and the children's response--simple and immediate--offers Paley the purest evidence of kindness she has ever seen.

In subsequent encounters, "the Teddy story" draws forth other tales of impulsive goodness from Paley's listeners. Just so, it resonates through this book as one story leads to another--taking surprising turns, intersecting with the narrative unfolding before us, and illuminating the moral meanings that children may be learning to create among themselves.

Paley's journey takes us into the different worlds of urban London, Chicago, Oakland, and New York City, and to a close-knit small town in Michigan's Upper Peninsula. Her own story connects those of children from nursery school to high school, and circles back to her elderly mother, whose experiences as a frightened immigrant girl, helped through a strange school and a new language by another child, reappear in the story of a young Mexican American girl. Thus the book quietly brings together the moral life of the very young and the very old. With her characteristic unpretentious charm, Paley lets her listeners and storytellers take us down unexpected paths, where the meeting of story and real life make us wonder: Are children wiser about the nature of kindness than we think they are?


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The Kindness of Children + You Can't Say You Can't Play + A Child's Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play
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Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

The author of such inspirational books as The Boy Who Would Be a Helicopter and You Can't Say You Can't Play, focuses here on the power of stories to transform children's lives. Paley, a MacArthur Award-winning teacher, presents a series of intertwined tales. The first is Teddy's. On a visit to a British kindergarten, a profoundly disabled child named Teddy is offered a starring role in a classroom drama. "Pretend you're the puppy and you didn't learn to walk yet," Teddy's playmates urge. While the teachers focus on Teddy's disability, his classmates home in on his ability to participate in acting out their story. Back home in Chicago, and still moved by Teddy and his classmates, Paley repeats the story to her frail, 97-year-old mother, who lives in a nursing home. Paley's mother says the actions of Teddy's classmates remind her of the "mitzvah," or good deed, so honored in Judaism. She, in turn, shares Teddy's story with another nursing home resident, a retired teacher. They, too, connect through Teddy's story and begin their own friendship. Paley urges those who work with children to help them create and act out stories. In a classroom, "spontaneous storytellers create little homes for one another where everyone can imagine playing a role and no one is left out." Paley argues that when children listen to, act in, and record their stories, these actions transcend isolation and heal. "If... in the process of pretending to be someone or something else, children learn, even for a moment, to walk in another person's footsteps, could this be the supreme mitzvah of all?"
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Kirkus Reviews

Despite its vague, somewhat saccharine title, this short book is a subtle, psychologically and imaginatively rich guide to one of the important ways in which children learn how to be more fully human: namely, kindness. Paley, a former kindergarten teacher, a MacArthur Award recipient, and the prolific author of many books about children and education (The Girl with the Brown Crayon, 1997, etc.), describes how very young students transform themselves and one another by taking in, narrating, and sometimes dramatically acting out tales of kindness and other acts of goodness. The infant returns a smile; the schoolchild returns a story, she observes. Beginning with the true account of Teddy, a multi-handicapped boy in a London school who wears a padded helmet and is treated sensitively by a normal student, she delves into the matter of how children, at their best, find ways of reaching out to those in need, thus allowing themselves and their peers to grow morally. Yet her book is less about the kindness of children than about the imaginative and ethical power of narratives about goodness for young minds. Her writings allusivee.g., she makes reference to traditional Jewish teachings about kindnessand sometimes poetic. On occasion, the book suffers from hyperbole, as when Paley writes about childrens acts of goodness that rock the [moral] universe. Perhaps because she believes that children are often more kind to each other than unkind, Paley doesnt delve enough into the interplay between childrens propensities for kindness and for cruelty. This is unfortunate, especially since the single time she writes about a child who reports being hated and shunned by her peers is the volumes most interesting section. But in general, Paley instructively illustrates how the children with whom she interacts so well are making sense of all the unspoken messages articulated to them while theyre also creating little homes for one another where everyone can imagine playing and no one is left out. -- Copyright ©1999, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 144 pages
  • Publisher: Harvard University Press (October 2, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 067400390X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0674003903
  • Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 4.8 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #124,992 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Vivian Gussin Paley worked for nearly forty years as a preschool and kinder-garten teacher and is the author of thirteen books about young children, including, most recently, A Child's Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play.

 

Customer Reviews

9 Reviews
5 star:
 (1)
4 star:
 (6)
3 star:    (0)
2 star:    (0)
1 star:
 (2)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.4 out of 5 stars (9 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Sweet book, poignant stories about children..., August 20, 2001
I don't know what I expected from this book. I thought it would be a series of stories about children being kind. It actually ended up as a free-flowing continuous stream-of-consciousness tale on the part of the author. It was partly on the children, and partly on the reaction of the author and other teachers towards the small kindnesses that children give to one another in diverse situations. Even though Paley tells us about the interesting story-telling learning which she instigates, the story-telling is less important to the book then the kindnesses of the children. The story-telling is the means by which the kindnesses continue, a means to acknowledge that kindness has occurred, and that children are responsible for solitary acts that can have ripple-like effects.

What I find incredibly interesting and wish that Paley had dealt with is that this behavior of small children prior to the fourth grade seems to be 'taught' out of children, by the adults in their lives. I may be wrong about this, but the national problems with bullying seem to occur right after third grade (which most educators and parents know is a major transitional point). Where is it that we are teaching our children not to be kind to others?

This book is sweet and extremely interesting. Paley brings up the possibility of an intelligence based not on intellect, but on an inner sense of being able to 'see' when another person is hurting. I would have liked more information...this book raises more questions then it provides the solutions for....

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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Disputes the Conventional Wisdom, September 7, 2000
This book disputes the conventional wisdom "children can be so cruel" by focusing on the fact that children ALSO can be kind. Paley knows full well that children are not perfect -- she writes brilliantly about rejection in "You Can't Say You Can't Play" and addresses these issues in others of her books as well. This is an important book BECAUSE it is so commonplace to hear "children can be cruel" as if that is all that they can be.

That said, this is NOT Paley's best book. Having retired from teaching, she no longer has the day to day experience of the classroom to write about. I find those books richer.

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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars For those who already love Paley..., May 13, 1999
By A Customer
While I understand how others could see this book as "saccharine, I cannot believe that these people really a) know Paley's body of work, or b) work with children. As a school librarian who has done most of my work with pre-K and K, as an avid reader of Paley's books, and as someone who DID suffer from the cruelty of other kids in my own childhood, I must say that I loved this book and found it touching and true. She does not ignore the bad in the world, and it is understandable that the book would be more focused on her own life, since she recently retired after decades of teaching. What Paley has witnessed, "the kindness of children," is a real thing. I feel sorry for those who cannot see this side of kids, and who think they are inherently UNkind. As always, Paley's work inspires me to try new things in my teaching and to look seriously at the small yet important interactions between children. Different from her other work, yes, but still wonderful.
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