Customer Reviews

The Kindness of Children

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I don't know what I expected from this book. I thought it would be a series of stories about children being kind. It actually ended up as a free-flowing continuous stream-of-consciousness tale on the part of the author. It was partly on the children, and partly on the reaction of the author and other teachers towards the small kindnesses that children give to one another in diverse situations. Even though Paley tells us about the interesting story-telling learning which she instigates, the story-telling is less important to the book then the kindnesses of the children. The story-telling is the means by which the kindnesses continue, a means to acknowledge that kindness has occurred, and that children are responsible for solitary acts that can have ripple-like effects.

What I find incredibly interesting and wish that Paley had dealt with is that this behavior of small children prior to the fourth grade seems to be 'taught' out of children, by the adults in their lives. I may be wrong about this, but the national problems with bullying seem to occur right after third grade (which most educators and parents know is a major transitional point). Where is it that we are teaching our children not to be kind to others?

This book is sweet and extremely interesting. Paley brings up the possibility of an intelligence based not on intellect, but on an inner sense of being able to 'see' when another person is hurting. I would have liked more information...this book raises more questions then it provides the solutions for....

This book disputes the conventional wisdom "children can be so cruel" by focusing on the fact that children ALSO can be kind. Paley knows full well that children are not perfect -- she writes brilliantly about rejection in "You Can't Say You Can't Play" and addresses these issues in others of her books as well. This is an important book BECAUSE it is so commonplace to hear "children can be cruel" as if that is all that they can be.

That said, this is NOT Paley's best book. Having retired from teaching, she no longer has the day to day experience of the classroom to write about. I find those books richer.

While I understand how others could see this book as "saccharine, I cannot believe that these people really a) know Paley's body of work, or b) work with children. As a school librarian who has done most of my work with pre-K and K, as an avid reader of Paley's books, and as someone who DID suffer from the cruelty of other kids in my own childhood, I must say that I loved this book and found it touching and true. She does not ignore the bad in the world, and it is understandable that the book would be more focused on her own life, since she recently retired after decades of teaching. What Paley has witnessed, "the kindness of children," is a real thing. I feel sorry for those who cannot see this side of kids, and who think they are inherently UNkind. As always, Paley's work inspires me to try new things in my teaching and to look seriously at the small yet important interactions between children. Different from her other work, yes, but still wonderful.

This is the first book by Paley I have read, and now I'm hooked! I am touched by her sensitivity and her openness to the wonder of the world of children. I felt that I was right there with her at the "storytelling table." An added bonus was her valuable references to Jewish storytelling traditions and her many biblical references. Anyone who works with children, especially "at-risk" children, would benefit from this book. An intimate and expressive work.

As a daycare teacher, I have to respectfully disagree with the readers who claim Paley lives in a dream world. In my experience working with 2 to 6 year olds, ALL children are extremely kind and good! In fact, I am constantly blown away by how inherently good, kind and innocent they are. (And I wonder what on earth happens to us to make us change as we get older!) Yes, there are always fights, squabbles, cruel words, etc., in any daycare center or kindergarten, but these are a tiny, tiny portion of any day. Paley is a wonderful writer and she tells the truth!

As a kindergarten teacher, I enjoyed this book because she focuses upon an aspect of the curriculum I haven't given much attention - the dramatization of children's stories. I too have witnessed acts of supreme kindness by children, as well as cruelty. I wish she had given more details. I recommend this book as a "quick read."

While this is certainly not her best book that does not mean it is not a wonderful tale of Mrs. Paley's experience working with children. Like many of her other books, this is a narrative tale of individual events that have been strung together to show a common theme. In this book, Paley focuses upon her art of having children create their own imaginative stories that are then acted out by the other children in the class. She digs deeper though to watch how the children interact.

She tells of her observations and revelations that children are able to look past the minor defects and imperfections in a person's appearance or character and accept them for who they are. It is somewhere along our journey to adulthood that we lose that ability. Paley focuses upon the children and the actions that seem so remarkable to us that are so ordinary for them.

What this book lacks however is in-depth analysis of a group of children. This is not Paley's fault however. Since she has left teaching she does not have the time with a single group of children necessary to make such observations. It is still a wonderful introspective on the way adults and children differ in our social interactions.

Why 4 stars?: This book tells a nice and interesting tale of Paley's experiences with several classrooms around the world. She tells us of her observations of the why children are able to be unprejudiced and show true kindness to other children because they know no other way. Adults, on the other hand, seem to do it out of necessity. She reminds us that "The moral universe lies on the breath of schoolchildren." However, it would have been nicer to see some deeper analyses of groups and the individual episodes could have been strung together better. All in all, this is a nice and inspiring book for teachers and parents alike.

It's unclear why Paley would even want to publish a book that is so absurdly indifferent to the facts of life. Doesn't she care about her dubious reputation? Yes, children are capable of great acts of kindness, but you'd have to be living on Mars not to recognize that children are equally capable of cruelty. Paley's simplistic view is so saccharine and unhelpful that it defies explanation. Paley's primary interest, it seems, is to put her own self on stage--to be the heroine in the lives of the kids she cursorily encounters. She's pleased as punch with herself and can hardly stop marveling at her own genius, even goes so far as to wonder out loud whether she should reveal her true identity to a stranger she meets on the beach ... as if she were a rock star in disguise. Read Robert Coles' The Moral Intelligence of Children for a real look at how the best in our kids can be brought out and strengthened.

Paley must have been one of those kindergarten teachers who were off humming to themselves while her students were beating the tar out of their unfortunate "playmates." Children are not sweet little angels, most of them are utter horrors who have to be taught to be good and kind-sometimes it works, sometimes not. Paley's rose-tinted view of childhood, straight out of Little Lord Fauntleroy and Pollyanna, reads as amusing fiction for one who suffered at the hands of her "kind" schoolmates.