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7 Kinds of Ordinary Catastrophes Hardcover – April 5, 2011

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From School Library Journal

Grade 8–10—Brainy and brassy Gert Garibaldi, high school sophomore, is still navigating the ups and downs of life in this sequel to One Butt Cheek at a Time (Delacorte, 2007). Punctuated with frank rants (some more crass than others), the narrative proves her to be a witty, intelligent, and insecure teen trying to figure out who she is (while getting it all on paper). Along the way she feels the pressure of SATs and SEX, though she's more ready for one than the other. Dumped by a boyfriend whose (lack of) kissing skills leaves Gert questioning her sexuality, she supports her closest friends, Clarice and Maggie, and, of course, the sometimes-neglectful-but-still-best-friend Adam, whose romance with Tim struggles under the weight of unsupportive parents and homophobic classmates. Gert gets hired (peddling doughnuts sounded easy) and tired (running around for the new soccer team, attempting to catch crush Lucas's eye). In the midst of a family crisis, she rises to the occasion, demonstrating growth and a responsible side. With her snarkiness and verve (but with more depth and less nonsense), Gert will appeal to older fans of Louise Rennison's Georgia Nicholson (HarperCollins). Sexual situations, creative swearing, and underage drinking are included. Reading the earlier title isn't necessary but new readers might be compelled to do so. The ending suggests a third installment, and fans of the first two books will likely clamor for it.—Danielle Serra, Cliffside Park Public Library, NJ
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


Praise for One Butt Cheek at a Time:

“Readers will be cheering [Gert] along as she learns to follow her instincts instead of her illusions. A shot in the arm of an otherwise tiresomely formulaic genre.”—School Library Journal

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Delacorte Press (April 5, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385734328
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385734325
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 1.1 x 8.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 1.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,077,492 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Hello bibliophiles,

Thanks for finding me here on Amazon. I'm thrilled to say I've moved into the hybrid author category and now am also publishing books directly to Kindle. I've always loved Christmas romances so this year I wrote my own. WISH is available directly to Kindle so be sure to check it out.

I delve into taboos with my stories--PIECES OF ME looks at the connections formed by pediatric organ donation, A MATTER OF DAYS is my ode to survivalists, the Meridian books deal with dying and death, and my Gert books take on human sexuality and "good girls." All are wrapped up in stories I hope have readers entertained and turning those pages.

When I'm writing there's always a candle going--with the correct scent for the book of course! The wrong candle can make me nauseous so I'm often in candle stores sniffing and snorting and thinking about projects! A MATTER OF DAYS candle was "dirt" and came from a great shop in Indiana. MERIDIAN was pine and fire, SPEED OF LIGHT grape bubblegum. ONE BUTT CHEEK AT A TIME required hazelnut coffee and that held true for the second in that series FROM BUTT TO BOOTY. My middle grade novel from Penguin coming out summer 2016 has been scented of fresh tomato!

Like the character of Auntie in MERIDIAN, I quilt. You can see photos of completed projects on my websites. I'm most proud of the quilts I've made and sent to The Freedom Quilt Project which matches quilts with families who've had a service person killed in action.

I have lots of animals: a dog, cats, a rooster named Hunk and a flock of hens who wander our property in Puget Sound. I like watching the nature channel out the windows and have fed wild birds for years.

I read 20 or more books concurrently. Everything is game for me--I never know when a character or book will need a certain piece of information so I read obscure to the popular, fiction and non, YA and adult. I change books the way other people change the channel. If you're interested in what I like visit my personal website and check out the best of page where I list books I'm reading and my thoughts.

I'm addicted to trashy reality television--I'm sure you've wondered who the people are who watch those VH1 and MTV love shows--that'll be me! I adore sour candy like Sour Patch Kids, Gummy Worms, and hard jawbreakers. I'm always listening to loud music--be it pop, international hits, classical, musical or metal. There's a soundtrack/playlist for each of my projects and it helps me get into the writing zone faster to have the right music going.

I'm grateful for the awards my books have received but nothing beats a heartfelt message from a reader who found comfort, solace, joy, perspective or something else personal in one of my stories. PIECES OF ME received a Kirkus star, Kirkus Award Nominee, and incredible blurbs from some of my favorite authors. A MATTER OF DAYS is a Lonestar Book in Texas, a finalist for the Truman award, Cybil Award nominee. MERIDIAN was an Arkansas state book award winner.

I love connecting with readers--find me on Facebook, twitter @writeamberkizer, my official website:

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

By Bahamamama on August 20, 2015
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
It's a horrible book. I was shocked that its recommended for kids/teens.
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