Customer Reviews

Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park [VHS]

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I think it helps if you're a KISS fan to enjoy this movie as much as I do, but I loaned it to a friend who was never into them at all and it became a cult favorite of his which he quotes to this day. This 1978 masterpiece was directed by Gordon Hessler who did tv shows like Hawaii 5-0, Kung Fu, and Wonder Woman and I think the influence is apparent. Also, the film is produced by Hanna-Barbera (as in Yogi Bear & the Flintstones) and that influence is extremely present!

The plot! involves KISS playing live at Magic Mountain where there is lots of cool things going on like a Peter Criss look a like contest! Anthony Zerbe (Omega Man, First Deadly Sin) plays the mentally unstable Abner Devereaux (the Phantom), creator of all the rides at the park and also the machanical apes. Anyway, he starts losing it when some biker dorks mess with his ride so he sends them to his haunted house to get sucked down these big pipes and....wo! My brain stings...hang on. Ok, so Abner ends up losing his job and he totally flips out and creates a little microchip thing that fits behind the ear and turns whoever is wearing it into a mindless robot. He's also jealous of KISS, not to mention hates their music so he creates a duplicate KISS to destroy the original KISS. Whew!

Watching KISS try to act is endless fun. Gene has a few lines like "Starchild!" and other times just opens his mouth and a prerecorded animal growl comes out! Paul says stuff like "Easy Catman, these guys are serious." and shoots a laser beam out his eye so he can listen to what people are saying far away. Ace says "Ack" and can teleport the whole band out of sticky situations (like when be attacked by samurais or cat people in disco suits, stuff like that.). I never found out what Peter's power was but I know his real voice isn't in the film, its a famous cartoon voice like Aquaman or something. He does have some great lines like "without them we'd be ordinary human beings." This is in response to a question about their talisman, which are these little glowing objects they keep in a little briefcase in their apartment. They get their powers from these things you see. Anyway lots of KISS tunes and scenes that are pricelessly cheesy and unintentionally (I think) hilarious. Like when the cops go to question KISS about a Gene look alike bashing up property in the park and all 4 of them are sitting on high lifeguard stools at their pool dressed in their normal black leather and also silver hooded robes sweating their butts off! This scene always gets me. "Rock and rollers don't bathe."

I found this at a dept. store for cheap on VHS and now I wish I would've bought more copies because it's very out of print. I hope it comes to DVD someday but KISS aren't very proud of it so they probably want it to be buried. However, since KISS will usually sell anything for a buck including a big coffin with their autographs on it, maybe their greed will make them put this timeless cheezeball from 1978 on special edition DVD with interviews about why they hate it! I love this movie! "Rip & Destroy!"

I saw this movie on TV once, Way Back When. I didn't understand it then, and I still don't now, but one thing's for sure; this movie *must* be released on DVD! It's a cult classic, right up there with "Plan 9 From Outer Space" in its' (unintentional) badness. KISS fans, unite; petition the band to get this movie released on Special Edition DVD--featuring a "making of" documentary, of course!!! 'Nuff said.

In the late 1970s KISS was at the absolute height of their popularity and KISS mania was running rampant. Their merchandising machine was sheer genius (until it got a bit out of hand later), which meant that we all wore KISS concert shirts, bought all their records, View-Master reels, comic books and anything else we could get our hands on.

So it seemed a logical idea for the band to capitalize on their success by starring in their own feature film. I, along with millions of other members of the KISS Army, sat transfixed on October 28, 1978, to watch the fabulous foursome for 96 minutes in KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park on NBC.

The plot was pretty simple: the band (starring as themselves) discovers a mad scientist amusement park owner's scheme to turn humans into cybernetic park attractions. The guys caught on when he kidnapped them and built evil KISS cyborg clones that he planned to use to enslave thousands of folks at a KISS concert, which coincidentally would take place at the very same park. But KISS isn't any ordinary band - they've got magical powers that they can summon with their ancient talismans, which they use to escape and foil the evil genius's plan. The climax of the film is a showdown between KISS and their evil robot counterparts.

Not unlike the band, the movie has a comic book feel, which makes complete sense since it was produced by Hanna-Barbera, the folks who gave the world The Jetsons and other cartoons. It was filmed at California's Magic Mountain amusement park and contains some cool footage of the band in concert and in action, with 'Shout it Out Loud,' 'Rock and Roll All Night,' and a great version of 'I Stole Your Love.' While it was a made-for-TV movie, the film actually did enjoy a theatrical release in Europe.

There's no question that all the members of KISS are great musicians and even greater showmen. But they sure can't act. Mostly level headed Paul Stanley gets the bulk of the lines, while Gene Simmons gets to growl and frighten people. Ace Frehley is for all intents and purposes incoherent with his heavy Brooklyn accent and penchant for making weird bird-like noises. And while we get to see and hear Peter Criss sing 'Beth' accompanied by acoustic guitar, we never get to hear him actually speak any lines. His voice was dubbed by someone else because he never bothered to show up after filming for relooping.

Amusing flaws aside, the film is a real trip if you're a KISS fan or if you like 70s nostalgia. There's nothing else like it.

this movie is so cheesy! but everyone in the house loves it! Even my three year old. I know that is not what they intended when they made it, but it is great!

This movie was not handled well. When you think of a movie staring KISS, sure THATS a great idea, but it seems no one had the initiative to really put it together. It starts slow, and keeps going slow, untill you want to turn it off, and then... there they are! KISS! That in itself is the most interesting part of the movie. If it were anyone else as the stars, it would not have made it onto the TV, let alone onto VHS. No one should blame KISS for this film failure. It just wasn't put together well. The plot was hazy, the jokes were off, and it kind of reminded me of watching an old batman movie while under the influence. Still, I will watch it again, and recomend that you do too, if you enjoy those old oudated movies with special effects from the 80's, that make something thats not supposed to be a comedy funny! I about laughed my a** off watching some of the goofy antics, and the androids that were so clearly men sticking thier heads through holes cut in tables. This is a film for die hard KISS fans that love the guys, and wanna have a good laugh. DO NOT BUY THIS MOVIE IF YOU DO NOT L*O*V*E KISS! It will make no sense, and will probably land you a visit to the shrink,
KISS FOREVER!!!

Well, being the consummate Kiss fan that I am and probably always will be, where do I begin with "Kiss Meets The Phantom"? I guess I have to do it in a "then & now" sort of way, so here goes:

Halloween, 1978: Your humble reviewer, a then 13-year old pimply-faced youth is practically Super-Glued to his chair directly in front of the family TV waiting for his idols to come on. After what seemed like an eternity, the movie finally started and there they were...KISS!!! My parents sat behind me pretending not to care at the crazy rock & roll spectacle unfolding on the TV screen in front of their son's very impressionable eyes, but secretly wished that they could be watching an episode of "Taxi". But NOT THIS NIGHT...the TV belonged to ME and KISS!!! At the time, I couldn't get enough of it...this movie was like the beginning and ending of it all, and two hours later, I thought I'd just witnessed the greatest movie ever made and that KISS were the ultimate superheroes.


Almost Halloween, 2004: Your humble reviewer, a now pock-marked, wrinkled, bloated mass of horse flesh staring age 40 directly in the face is practically Super-Glued in front of his computer struggling to remember exactly what he'd witnessed some 26 years ago (among other things...) Yes, I have to agree with the masses that in hindsight, this movie is very campy, unintentionally hilarious and corny, but man, what a lot of FUN!! I think I have more fun watching it now than I did back then!

I think even a great actor like Anthony Zerbe knew what he was getting himself into at the time, but he showed just how versatile and professional he is and played the part to the hilt; he made you believe that his character really was demented and evil! Kiss on the other hand, well...um...let's just say they were who and what they were and leave it at that.

But let's not forget the immortal "Chopper" and his girlfriend in the film...what a wonderful biker trash couple they were!

Oh where do we begin with this? KISS was at the height of their popularity in the late 70's when this came out. Star Wars and KISS was all that kids my age cared about. KISS was on lunchboxes, comic books, bubblegum cards, toy guitars, action figures, etc etc etc. Phantom of the Park was a made for TV movie that was played on network television one time. On Halloween night, 1978. Well being 7 years old and a huge KISS fan I stayed home from trick or treating to see my heros...P>This movie is so goofy, that the band itself is too embarrassed to mention it in interviews... The acting is terrible, Ace and Peter have no interest in this abortion of a film (and with good reason). Paul hams up every line he has and basicly acts like a jive turkey with miscues and untimely lines. We see the things to come too of Gene's brief 80's acting career.

The stuntmen made to be KISS are pathetic, Gene's double is a 300 pound guy going up on a wire. Paul's double is complete with double chins, Ace's double is a kungfu funky black dude, and Peter's is about 40 years old.

The special effects are sad, the plot is ridiculous, and the one liners fall flat... In the entire KISStory, this is the 'dark, sad, what the heck were we thinking' chapter.

All in all a great movie to watch when you think your own life is pathetic...

There is only about 30 minutes worth of actual KISS members in the film, but there is some outstanding live in-concert film from the show at Magic Mountain in the spring of 1978. Some of the show is the actual live recording, not dubbed music. This is the made for TV movie that came out on Halloween of 1978.

I believe this video is out of print, so grab it if you can find it somewhere. A must for any diehard KISS fan.

I don't know where that dude think he saying about camp. Funny? There was nothing funny about this flick. It the only time on tape that Gene Simmons real voice gets captured on the tape! That's what he sound like! It also shows off Aces sense of humor and Paul is a good actor. I was nervous when the robots said rip and destroy! Don't worry. Kiss saves the day and plays rock and roll all nite. If you never heard Kiss play that song there is your chance they rock on it!

Oh wow, where to begin? I remember this from the 70s when it was on TV and thought it was pretty nifty then. I decided to pick this up because my son is fascinated with KISS and thought this would be a blast for him to see. He loves it. He is six.

This movie combines all the depth and suspense of a bad Scooby Doo episode with the wooden acting of an Adult movie. Mix in some special effects worthy of Ed Wood and pacing more suitable to a Pintner play and you have a work of stunted genius.

This movie is like watching a car wreck. A slow, poorly paced, badly acted car wreck that takes forever to get where it is going (KISS doesn't show up for 30 minutes!).

There are clips on YouTube where you can see the stilted acting, cheap effects and laughable dialogue but you really need to own this.

My favorite bits are watching KISS "act", the poorly staged fight scenes with obvious stunt doubles (they don't even try to conceal their faces!), the cheesy werewolf robots and complete lack of suspense at the denouement.

Oh, and the super cheesy disco funk background music during the fight scenes should be released as its own soundtrack.

I would give almost anything to see this movie given the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. Until that day, you just gotta enjoy this on its own.

Somewhere, Ed Wood is beaming.