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Kiss My Book [Kindle Edition]

Jamie Michaels
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $7.99
Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

RUBY CRANE IS a rising star. At 15, she sold her first book, got a movie deal, scored the hottest guy in school, and became the most popular student at Frasier High. Now, as a soon-to-be junior and published author, she's ready to make waves in New York's literary world. But every star falls back to earth one day. Ruby's accused of plagiarism - on national television. And the worst part is that the proof of her literary lies is indisputable.

Her friends won't return her phone calls. Her boyfriend's gone AWOL. The media vultures are flying low, and they want answers. So Ruby does what any self-respecting headline would do. She disappears. And that's when her story really begins.

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

A lover of books, words, and libraries, Jamie Michaels was born and raised in New York City and can often be spotted reading in Central Park, on the subway, or pretty much anywhere.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

I Am Famous

My English teacher asked me for an autograph.

It was June 12, exactly two weeks before the end of the school year. The sixth-period bell had just rung and I was reaching into my bag for a notebook and a pen when a shadow fell across my corner of the grimy cafeteria table. Startled, I looked up. Then I blinked. Twice. Old Mrs. Gallagher was standing over me, stylishly dressed in one of her usual calf-length checkered dresses buttoned tightly at the neck. And she was smiling.

“Ruby, would you do me the honor?” she asked in a shockingly sugary tone.

I glanced down and saw that both of her arms were outstretched; her left hand held a black ballpoint pen, and in her right was a hardcover copy of my first novel, The Heart Stealer. It was a sobering sight, because the book had landed in stores only a few days earlier. I didn’t think anyone aside from the members of my immediate family had bought it. Yet. There had been a few ads in magazines and a mention of the book on one of the early-morning talk shows, but I wasn’t expecting instant recognition.

“Oh,” I replied. I think I even gasped. “I . . . uh . . . of course. Yes. Sure.”

“Take your time with the inscription,” she said gently. “I’m sure no one will mind if you get to your next class a little late today.”

I reached out and took the pen. I laid the book—my book, complete with a glossy cover and my name in bright block letters across the top—down on the table. I felt my cheeks blush. All around me, the cafeteria went silent. Students who would have otherwise bolted for the double doors were suddenly witnessing what had to be the freakiest incident in the history of Frasier High School: an English teacher asking a student for an autograph.

And not just any English teacher.

Mabel Marie Johnson-Gallagher was a cold, disapproving, PhD-from-Yale-toting literary snob. An elitist in every sense of the word, she preferred metaphors to music, poetry to perfume, and probably sentences to sex. She had a cat named Brontë. She wore her black hair in one of those smooth, oily, Emily Dickinson–style buns. She even scolded us in Shakespearean tongue.

Dost thou not remember / thine homework from yester eve? You gall me with hell!

In short, Mrs. Gallagher wasn’t a favorite among students because she had a tendency to make us feel brainless. I supposed it was just her style of teaching, though I had never forgiven her for writing ’Tis drivel and poop! across the bottom of one of my best essays in Comparative Litera- ture. And I never expected her to care about a commer- cial novel written by the sixteen-year-old who rarely spoke up in her classroom and would never swear in iambic pentameter.

I should have been flattered, but getting singled out by Mrs. Gallagher was a lot like winning a bowling tournament: all you had to show for it was a geeky grin and a bad pair of shoes.

Now she was staring at me with wide, expectant eyes.

I was frozen. An autograph? It wasn’t as easy as just scribbling my name across the page. People want more than that—especially when they’ve invested twenty-five bucks in a hardcover. And what kind of inscription was she expecting? She hadn’t exactly been nice to me for the past ten months. To Mrs. Gallagher, I thought, imagining my hand gliding across the page. Does this mean my writing isn’t drivel and poop? No, that wouldn’t work. Too edgy. Not even remotely Shakespearean. She still hadn’t submitted my final grade for the year, and I wasn’t taking any chances.

“I read that wonderful article on you in TeenGirl maga- zine,” she gushed. “There you were—right on page twenty-six! Oh, Ruby, I had no idea what tremendous news this book of yours is! And the fact that you’ll be making an appearance tonight at the American Literature Club—it’s just astounding.”

Her voice boomed across the cafeteria. My cheeks felt hotter. The article in TeenGirl wasn’t one of my favorites, because the picture of me had been taken before I’d lost those pesky eighteen pounds. As for the Literature Club . . . it was pretty astounding. The event I’d be attending in just a few hours was big and by invitation only. I’d be rubbing bookends with some of the greatest writers on the planet. A new inscription suddenly popped into my head: To Mrs. Gallagher, Read—don’t speak. Love, Ruby Crane.

“Was the article correct?” she continued. “Is The Heart Stealer going to be adapted into a movie next year?”

I felt the cafeteria crowds thickening behind me. It wasn’t really news to anyone—the whole school had known about my book’s being published since September—but now that it was so in their faces, I felt strange. Or maybe just a little pressured. Or completely strange and nervous and pressured. How about that? Strange. Nervous. Pressured. Yeah, that works. I hoped my insecurities weren’t showing. To Mrs. Gallagher, Have you ever been slammed in the head with a hardcover? Love, Ruby Crane. I held on to my smile and gave her a meek nod.

“Oh! How wonderful!” She did a little jump, as if a jolt of electricity had shot up from the carpet and zapped her in the butt. The bun on the back of her head bounced. “And just to think how young you are!” she continued. “You have a brilliant literary career ahead of you, Ruby. And . . . and who knows? Maybe even an acting career! Will they let you star in the movie?”

I held the smile in place. To Mrs. Gallagher, Hast thou gone totally freaking berserk?

“Oh, you would be so wonderful in the movie!” she said, clapping her hands.

Someone two tables away let out a chuckle. It was likely one of the mean, golden-haired cheerleaders who hated me for becoming famous, for burning through the dark web of sophomore-year obscurity like a forest fire.

I had experienced a lot of that in the past few months—snickers, sneers, eyes rolling whenever someone mentioned my book. I’d entered Frasier High School a nameless freshman, then risen through the socially envied crowd at breakneck speed. There were a lot of people—girls, mostly—who didn’t like it, who viewed me as an unworthy shadow intruding on their world. It took me a while to understand why they felt that way.

Product Details

  • File Size: 231 KB
  • Print Length: 290 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0385734999
  • Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers (September 11, 2007)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B000W7KNJE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,246,378 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Courtesy of Teens Read Too September 25, 2007
Ruby Crane just can't believe her good luck. Just by writing a somewhat autobiographical book has caused Ruby to shoot right into instant stardom. You just have to know you're famous when even your teacher asks for your autograph. But being the author of a novel doesn't just get you famous: for Ruby it got Jordan Lush, the guy that every girl in her school dreams about, to be her boyfriend; popularity; a movie deal, of course; and the chance to be on a bestsellers list.

All this good luck has to go sour sometime. For Ruby it came pretty quick. Her novel "The Heart Stealer," about a lonely freshman girl who just so happens to end up with the cutest guy in school, becomes evidence that Ruby Crane plagiarized.

Samantha Golding, the very popular news reporter, took it upon herself to tell the whole world how Ruby's book is quite similar to author Adella Morgan's book "My Broken Soul," making sure to have all the passages that were alike on hand. And before she knows it, Ruby is making headline news in every heard of publication, all for the worst reasons possible. Not only has her reputation been ruined but now no one wants to even be around Ruby, since her star status is gone down the drain.

So the only thing for Ruby to do is to go incognito. And before she knows it, Ruby is on her way into a totally new world, in a town where she can definitely get in touch with nature, away from the crowded and busy streets -- and start over. And along the way, Ruby will meet those who truly care for her, like her Aunt Finn, and a boy that doesn't care if she's famous or not.

Starting over may not be easy, but discovering yourself and learning how to fight back just makes it all worthwhile.
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3.0 out of 5 stars Kiss My Book, A BookBandit Blog Review August 10, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Ruby Crane's life is about to start. Last year she was a mere freshman. But this year, she's a newly published author. Or to the popular crowd - a rising star with a book and movie deal.

As if life couldn't get any better Ruby's scheduled to speak at the Literature Society, a prestigious society that only top-notch authors are invited to. Expecting it to be the night of her life, Ruby's not worried about a thing.

That is, until celebrity reporter Samantha Golding asks her the one question every author fears most: "Ruby, why did you plagiarized your first book?"

With a ruined career and a damaged ego, Ruby retreats to Aunt Finney's in Whispering Springs, NY. Ruby's run away from everything, but did she run far enough? Or will her problems rear their ugly heads?

Kiss My Book, written by author Jamie Michaels, is a quick realistic read that readers will find both charming and funny.

Kiss My Book's main plot is based on something I love - books! Jamie Michael's writing is simple, clever, and engaging. She easily weaves famous book quotes and titles into the text.

Beyond good writing, Michael's characters are real - so real they're flawed. Admittedly, I was not a fan of Ruby's. I found her to be pretentious and often whiney. But as the book progressed, Ruby did as well. Sure she doesn't know who she is, or who she wants to be, but she's fifteen. By the time the book wrapped up, Ruby quickly became a character that my inner fifteen year old could relate to.

Beyond characters, Kiss My Book was, above all things, unique. Never before have I read a book about books! If you love books, you'll more than like this book! From the small town charm and wit to the budding romance, readers will find something between the pages that they will surely love.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Good not great May 26, 2013
By PaigeM.
I sort of had my doubts about this book within the first chapter but I'm so glad I kept reading! I could totally relate to this book, being a book lover myself. The central character, Ruby, voiced a lot of thoughts that I had myself about getting lost in the stories of books, and just general literature for teens.
The story itself was completely adorable! I love the little town of Whispering Oaks because on vacations I've driven through small towns (Forks, Washington was what really came to mind when I read this. Don't look at me like that! I did like Twilight, for a short amount of time, a LONG time ago. The town itself is adorable, except for the fact that it looks nothing like in the movies.) so I didn't have that hard of a time imagining what life would be like for Ruby.
I loved all the other characters too and they helped move the story along at a great pace. (And of course there were those characters that you just love to hate!)
There were a few different plots going on and one of them I didn't really appreciate how rushed it was concluded at the end. It was so rushed that I almost thought the author had forgotten about it, but then tied it up neatly at the end. I did like the overall conclusion!
I also like how Ruby had to deal with the accusations of her work being plagiarized and at the end of the story she came out a better, stronger character. In the beginning she was a little weak for me but I really loved her development! Overall, a really good book!
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