Customer Reviews

Kiss of the Vampire

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

I was mildly excited to see this movie when I rented it. As a vampire and overall horror movie fan, I believed this would be an enjoyable vampire horror fest type of B movie. Boy was I in for a surprise. The movie is about a vampire who falls for a human, then decides he wants to be cured of vampyrism so he can share his life with this woman. Well, this woman is not very attractive, making me wonder why a vampire would want to give up immortality and sex with one of his sexier vampire friends to be with this much older looking girl who he has absolutely NO chemistry with.

As for the vampires, if you like a bunch of people with fangs on standing around growling like jaguars and not really doing anything, this movie is for you. They can't fight, jump, or move. They just stand there with their arms up like if they're trying to climb an imaginary wall. Then there are the fight scenes, which are not very well choreographed, having people stand around waiting to get hit while the vampire performs a roundhouse kick that takes about 2 hours to connect.

The acting is horrible, and my first warning came early, when the heroine's dad is punched by her drunk fiancee. He gets punched and falls down the steps without a hint of concern from his daughter and wife, who just stand there. Theres also the poor man's "antonio banderas" who you will recognize if you see this film. Oh yeah, theres a midget who comes out dressed as an undertaker, I could keep going and going...

Just when I thought things could not possibly get worse, there was the "space scene". I could not believe what I was watching... I told my wife about this scene and she was so bewildered that I had to show her. All of a sudden you see the planet Earth and the heads of various dead characters floating around in space all pissed off because they will be stuck there for eternity or something like that.

Anyway, if you feel like a good laugh and have 2 hours to spend, or if you're stoned and want to laugh hysterically, this movie is for you. If you want to see a good movie, avoid at all costs. Why anyone would greenlight an attrocious movie like this is beyond me. The only good thing about it were some of the locations.

This movie was horrendous. I could not believe how horrible the acting was, how predictable the plot was and how down right dumb the movie was. I say was..as I'm destroying my copy rather than try to sell it to someone else. I wouldn't want to put someone else through the pain. The vampires in it were idiotic..there was absolutely NO character development. Someone in a different review mentioned how it should not be compared to Underworld because of the difference in budgets. Well, the difference in budgets is not the problem. The writing, acting, directing and producing are the problem. I don't care about the special effects..but come on...this was ridiculous. Vampires that sound like lions and stand around roaring. There was no chemistry between the love interests..oh how I could go on. It just plain bit...excuse the pun. I would rate it negative 5 stars if I could, as it actually took away from my intelligence rather than being enjoyable or showing me something new.

Don't buy. But if you must see this...please please rent it. You'll thank yourself in a couple hours..if you make it that far.

It was awful. I expected it to be. The only reason I paid money for it is because I was born and raised in the town it was filmed in. (Hamilton, Ohio)

The plot really didn't make all that much sense to me. I watched half of it and really didn't get it. Really cheesy too. Don't really think there was nudity in it, but I only watched half of it.

If you like bad movies, this ones for you. I bought this movie for the simple fact that it was filmed in my hometown. It was cool seeing places that I know but this has to be one of the worst vampire movies I've seen. The special effects aren't good, and the acting isn't either. They even used one of the cities politicians in a role. Don't waste your money.

Please dont waste your time, the first 5 minutes are the only good part in the movie, the rest is like the 1st black and white dracula.... boring

Atrocious. This is one of the few films I'd bother reviewing, if only to help someone else avoid it. Just don't bother.

Seriously....everyone featured in the film, their careers are basically over. The acting was so bad it was comical. The only one that did a halfway reasonable job was the one midget who has been in a whole bunch of similar films (example, Bordello of Blood). This is the type of movie that would be made fun of on Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

I really enjoyed this bloody movie!! It was riviting and suspenseful and a thriller. The opening scene is so intense and just keeps getting better.

This is a vampire movie with the interesting twist of the illuminati pulling the strings. Daniel Goddard is excellent (and hot). It might be vampire-light for some vampire fans, but it is all the more watchable for less hard core fans of the genre.