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I Kissed Dating Goodbye Paperback – April 2, 2003

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I Kissed Dating Goodbye + Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship + Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is): Sexual Purity in a Lust-Saturated World
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 221 pages
  • Publisher: Multnomah Books; Updated edition (April 2, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590521358
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590521359
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.1 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (300 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #14,302 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Joshua Harris lives outside Washington, D.C., in Gaithersburg, Maryland, where he's a pastor at Covenant Life Church. His greatest passion is preaching the gospel and calling his generation to wholehearted devotion to God. Each January he leads a national conference for singles called New Attitude.

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Customer Reviews

This book definitely is a life changer and it changes your views in relationship in a great way.
I like the general theme of the book which is, only date when you are ready to get married, which I think most women instinctively do already.
Lily Beth
The book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris could be considered controversial for some today.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

294 of 312 people found the following review helpful By KF on September 6, 2004
Format: Paperback
I've never reviewed anything on Amazon.com before. But after reading this book and reviewing some of the comments, I had to say something.

First on the book... I think it is an amazing insight into dating in our culture. The book isn't as much about not dating as it is about realizing the opportunity you have as a single person to work for God. He's basically arguing that for the amount of time and energy we put into worrying about the person we just met at the bar last night, we have an even better opportunity to use that energy work for and bless God.

He's not saying anyone can't date. Rather, he's questioning the motivations we have behind dating and asking people to really be honest with themselves. One of the reviews posted here on Amazon said something to the effect that "Harris is wrong, I need to date to learn more about relationships and the opposite sex." Got news for you, this is the exact reason Harris says you shouldn't be dating. If you view dating in and of itself as a reason to improve your own "dating skills", you're using the other person in the relationship. In some of the reviews people are basically saying, "Hey, I need to date that way when I meet the right person I'll be ready!" Again, this is selfish and speaks to many of Harris's points about how we use people to refine our opinions of the opposite sex. It's as if we can take a peice of each person we've dated in the past and we'll combine them into the perfect spouse!

I think the reason this book sparks so much debate is because it really calls some people out in terms of their own dating lives.
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52 of 53 people found the following review helpful By canopy on June 20, 2008
Format: Paperback
First of all, when I first picked up this book, I couldn't believe that a twenty-something-year-old SINGLE guy wrote this book. It was a two-way shock. One, I couldn't believe that someone who was so young with little experience was bold enough to publish a book about dating and relationships. Then after reading this book, I was shocked again, but this time, at the wisdom this guy had at such a young age. But I know that many times age means nothing when it comes to wisdom.

Since there are so many interpretations about this book, I won't even attempt to defend this book. That would be Joshua's part. I'll share what I got out of this book, though.

This book didn't tell me to stop dating - I know, it's contrary to its title. What I learned from this book is to have a different approach and attitude about dating. Before the book, I thought that in order for me to find my life partner, I'd have to date around. The scenario would go like this: If there's a guy that I was interested in, I'd go on a date with him and if we liked each other, we'd enter into a more serious relationship and then see how we fit. If we're not a good fit, we end the relationship and then when I meet a new guy that would interest me, another dating cycle would begin.

Here's the book's approach to dating: When I find someone I'm interested in, rather than going on a date with him (so rather than jumping into a romantic relationship right away), I'd develop a good friendship with him first. If you think you can't get to know someone by just being their friend, you haven't experienced good friendship. The book explains that this is a healthier way to get to know someone (that is a potential spouse) without the 'romantic' pressure and confusion.
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128 of 151 people found the following review helpful By Liz on April 29, 2009
Format: Paperback
I don't usually review books but I thought I would review this one. You may not agree with me but please know that I write from the heart.

I first read this book about 6 years ago and really embraced the message. As I have gotten older however I realized that there were a few problems with this idea.

First, this approach is effective if you are still in college or a recent graduate, in an environment where there are alot of singles around you. In an environment where young singles hang out in groups, this idea makes sense. But as you get older, people don't do this. You must continue to go to God in prayer of course but you have to make an actual effort to meet other single people as you hit 30 and beyond.

I suggest Henry Cloud's "How to get a date worth keeping" for the people over 25. He suggests that you try to interact with as many people of the opposite sex as possible, with the help of a group of Christians who can help you avoid pitfals along the way. This approach helps you learn about the opposite sex but mostly learn about yourself and the issues you may bring to relationships.

Which leads me to the second reason - I believe that there are many single Christians over 30 in part because they are not comfortable interacting with the opposite sex in a romantic relationship or have personal issues that keep them from getting to that stage in the first place. Cloud's book will help to deal with those issues. It is written by a Christian who is a trained psychologist and he is one of the authors of the very popular "Boundaries" series. "I kissed dating goodbye" is written by a Christian who based the book on his own dating experience when he was very young.

I found that his book only encouraged me to hide from the opposite sex and as I got older, the suggestions became unfeasable. I encourage you to check out Cloud's approach instead.
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