Customer Reviews

I Kissed Dating Goodbye : The Study Guide

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

If I could have, I would have given the book 2 1/2 stars. There are many points in this book that I agree with: you should not date someone with selfish intentions; dating can isolate you from your friends and family; unhealthy romantic relationships can cause you to shun opportunities that would otherwise help you to become a stronger man or woman of God; dating teaches people that "romance" is the most important aspect of a relationship. Regardless of whether or not people who have read this book have been inspired to give up dating, it has taught many people how to keep their relationships balanced and what really matters when evaluating a future husband or wife. What I do not like about this book is how unrealistic it is. Harris tells his male readers to observe women in group situations and be friends with them before moving to another level. Sorry, but life does not work that way. What if you meet someone at the post office or while sitting next to him or her on a plane, and you realize that you would like to get to know that person better? Would you not ask that person on a date because you haven't been able to "observe?" Harris also says that dating provides an artificial environment for evaluating a guy or girl's potential as a husband or wife because you're most concerned with how the other person looks and how fun he or she is. But don't friends in groups also make those judgements? The author neglects to discuss the possible pitfalls of being friends with someone first and then courting (as though that system is perfect) while bashing dating. He also seems to believe that God works in very obvious ways. His life may be like that, but mine sure isn't. Although my feelings about this book are mixed, I do look forward to reading the book that he is now writing with his wife.

I started this book not really knowing what I was getting myself in to. Don't get me wrong the first few chapters are where not so exciting, but once I got to Part two I started applying what I read in my personal dating relationship. I learned how to be a good listener, how to not just take, but to give as well. I also learned that love needs to be committed, sincere, selfless, and responsible. These Four words describe what every dating relationship should be like. There are times when people think they are in love and have sex before marrage. If she gets pregnant the man needs to take responsiblity for his actions. Whether you are a christian or not this book will give you so many ways to extend and help you make the most out of your dating relationship. Yes, this book is by a christian author and yes there are bible verses in it, but I feel that this book has helped me in my walk with God. A parting thought, No matter who you are God has a plan and everything will come in time. If I got only one thing out of this book it was that no matter how slow I think life is going God will show me the right path. For every door that is closed a window is opened to a new and better place and all you need to do is open your mind.

I know that it is hard for many people to agree with the radical approach that Joshua states for building relationships. My question would be why play with fire. He is right. It is better to be extreme in the way one approaches a relationship and know that they are in NO DOUBT being righteous before God. Not with I think that I am right so therefor I am right but looking in the Bible they find that they are wrong (Proverbs 14:12). I suggest reading the book all the way through and not just stopping because one don't agree with something. I plan to use what Joshua suggests along with many more radical things I learned through the Bible. Good luck I know that in the end one will have a better relationship. I have seen it happen many times with the methods used that Joshua explains. Many happy marriages :-)

This book was recommended to me (and her parents) by a 15 year old young lady who has more wisdom concerning dating than any youth director I had growing up. Josh Harris has written the definitive book on Christian male/female relationships. I only wish I had read the book before I got married (Josh was 3 years old then) so that I could have been better prepared for the lifelong commitment I was making. An unusual gift for the practical application of Biblical truths with the right heart attitude marks Mr Harris's style. Readable and convicting.

I'm still in the process of reading this book, I'm almost finished. But what I've read really changed the way I look at dating. It's not everything I thought it was cut out to be. This book offers a great alternative to the world's version of dating. It's Awesome!!

I would not rate the "Study Guide" as highly as I would either the original book ("I Kissed Dating Goodbye") or its sequel ("Boy Meets Girl"). The "Study Guide" is designed as a review and lesson guide for IKDG, and frequently refers back to the main book. Both IKDG and BMG can be studied on their own.

However, the team of authors, Joshua and Shannon Harris along with Nicole Mahaney, illustrates some of the points Harris wants to teach us, his audience. Even Shannon Harris' name is a beautiful picture of one key point: Forsaking dating before a suitable prospect for marriage appears is not the end of the road for one's social life. Joshua and Shannon were married by the time BMG hit the presses.

Perhaps Mahaney illustrates another point, that it is best to have a team of trusted friends to give a peer review to our social habits, and to help us on major projects such as the "Study Guide." A successful Chistian marriage should not start with a secret elopement to get away from parents and other authorities. Instead, it is a collaboration with those authorities and concerned relatives.

Maybe kissing "dating" goodbye requires an overly precise definition of "dating." "Dating" is acting in a way not normal for us, in order to impress one person at a chosen point in time. It is the antithesis to the sort of love that Christ has for us, one that is built upon sacrifice, one that will stick it out through thick and thin, two people accepting each other for who they can be in Christ and how they can minister to others together. The Christian social life also means developing a network of friends who can help you, and friends that you can help.

In my case, I had given up on my social life until I had read these books. I was content simply to have friends in a non-intimate way. Now, in addition to my network of other friends, I have clear markers to point out the path I should take until I find a "help meet" for me.

This series of publications points out a straight and sure road through the social life. They are a "must read" for all singles whether or not they have been married before. But I would suggest that those who buy this book order the two longer books (IKDG and BMG) at the same time, if they do not own copies already.

I would also like to thank Sheila Stevenson of Herndon, Virginia, for her prompt service in sending me a copy of IKDG through the Marketplace.

To those people who think this book is bad, I ask you to think again. I am a typical christian teenager. I have dated and it hasn't turned out to be anything significant, so I really enoyed this book. It gave me options. He's not saying that we shouldn't be friends with guys (or guys with girls) he's saying to not put specific attention on one person of the opposite sex, which I find to be true. We need to treat eachother as brothers and sisters in Christ and as nothing more, until we're ready for marriage, THEN we can pursue relationships to find the right person. His book should be helpful to anyone who is looking for an alternative to dating and being able to understand what it is we are doing. I think that this book has helped me a lot, but I guess I won't know until I get married, if I do!

What some people who disagree with this book may not understand is that true love is always patient. Not kissing until your wedding day? Even if you *are* going to wait several years, if you feel that is best for you--that is good. Having been kissed before in a relationship that crashed, I know how intense my regret was that I had given this guy my kisses. Why waste your kisses until you're sure? Much applause, Mr. Harris. Your advice needs to be heard. God can be trusted to do what is best in His own timing.

This book is excellent! And as for the entry from the man who said that he [Joshua Harris] thinks dating is evil, I wish to correct that. He does not think that dating is a sin. He thinks that some sin as A RESULT of dating, but that dating, in itself, is not a sin. He strives for purity, and tell me, what is so evil about that? He offers an alternative to dating and encourages young people to wait for the one, rather than give themselves into relationships that they'll regret once they've found "the one" and they're married.

Pushing sixty, I have "been there, done that" and how I wish I had been as wise as this young man! For most of us, it's "too soon alt, too late schmart." Read and heed. Dating is not necessary. It is not even advisable. You won't miss anything! You'll gain in the long run. We need to break out of our culture's mindset that the purpose of life is to have fun. Pursuing pleasure only drives it away. See C.S. Lewis. My only reservation about this book is whether the ones who need it most will buy into it. The negative comments above reinforce my impression, that Harris has the real goods, but will fail to convince many readers.