Customer Reviews

Kisser: A Stone Barrington Novel

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(13)
2 star:		(23)
1 star:		(41)

 

 

I've read (and own) every piece of fiction that Stuart Woods (SW) has ever written and I think he's been heading downhill at a alarming rate with each new book he publishes. If you read "Chiefs," one of his earliest books, you will see that he can write a decent, complicated plot line, that he also can keep enough tension in a plot to make you want to keep reading it. He DOESN'T have to resort to all the 15-year-old sexual behavior to pull off the story. He's got Stone Barrington acting like a drunk, 15 year old in this book.

I honestly can't figure out why I even buy this crap anymore. Stanford and others throw a little hint of sex in his books and it seems to be just about the right amount and done in a classy way but SW is writing adolescent filth in "Kisser." It does nothing to help the story line, it's not really believable and it's really distracting from a reader's point of view. His plot's are getting pretty weak, maybe that's why all the sex-talk. It seems like he's cranking out 3 or 4 new books a year now which might explain why sloppy editing is falling through the cracks and he forgetting the names of his own characters.

I'm really disappointed in this guy. He used to be a pretty good "action thriller" writer. He's got street criminals using bridge-table; high society vernacular usually found only in the Hamptons, he's still calling dope peddlers "dealers." It's 2010 for crying out loud! This is just another SW book that doesn't have enough of the author's "glue" to hold pieces together that don't fit together in the first place. I can't believe I'm the only one who's seen the decline in the quality of his writing. It's sad.

No action thriller here. You had a great run Stu, time to retire. Juvenile Fiction.

With all due respect, This is by far the worst book I have ever read from this author. There is so much wrong with it , but primarily that it got a starred review from pub. weekly.. That disturbs me the most as I thought they were impartial.. Perhaps not.
First off... The entire story revolves around Stone getting sex constantly. I mean constantly. there really is no other story.. a few bad guys, a few good cops (that he has sex with) an actress, he also has sex with, and another art gallery employee he has sex with. the plot is extremely thin.. if there is even one.. 2 bad guys.. drugs, a ponzi scheme.. wooo. thats about it. I paid 9.99 on the kindle to read this.. I would seriously not buy this book.. As he says in all his books.. buy it at a garage sale.. but only if youre really desperate. ITS THAT BAD.. AND AGAIN SHAME ON YOU PUBLISHERS WEEKLY FOR YOUR REVIEW.. I would like to know who EXACTLY wrote that piece of garbage.. Just want to make sure I never read or believe their reviews again. Sorry , Its that bad.
Lisa

After page 106 of this thin 288 page book I finally had to stop reading this very weak novel. I was more than 1/3 of the way through the book and nothing happened. It was just page after page of fine dining, how homes were furnished, Ralph Lauren furniture, Ritz Carlton style lodgings and upscale artwork and yes, some character development of 3-4 different woman. I still did not know who the story was about.

I find it hard to believe that Stuart Woods authored this book, but his picture is on the back cover. I can only imagine the publishing pressure to author 2+ books annually have drained the author's imagination. This is the same thing that I believe happened to John Grisham in recently released "Ford County". People, save your money. If you really think you need to read this book, at least, put it on hold at the local library.

After reading this book I really wondered if Stuart Woods wrote it. It seems so formulaic that any aspiring writer could have written it. I'm guessing that SW gave a writer the following instructions and set him loose:

Plot: Begin at Elaine's. Either Bill Eggers or a stranger asks Stone to do some trivial work, such as getting a signature or talking to someone. This usually involves Stone traveling somewhere. When he gets there he discovers that the subject isn't who he was told they were. Neither is the client. Problems develop locally, get solved quite easily, after which Stone comes away with a huge amount of money for doing practically nothing. The End.

Rules:

Stone is the most well-known and famous attorney in NY, in spite of never having had a high-profile client or case.

Stone's jobs are always on the level of a $10/hour junior detective. His huge fees are justified by the will, agreement, etc., specifying that the work must be done by a lawyer.

Use the annoying phrase "of council" about a dozen times every book. Sometimes describe what this means, i.e., doing work like domestic violence, DUIs, etc., for the firm. Under no circumstance is Stone to actually do work such as domestic violence, DUIs, etc.

Keep Dino's contributions on the level of a typical leading man's dumb, fat friend. Even though he's a Lieutenant in the Detective Bureau, Dino doesn't seem to know much about crime solving. Try to make him sound authoritative when he drops gems like, "I think you'll find that the rapist was probably a man."

Stone is the world's worst at managing money. Make sure you describe his lavish lifestyle in detail, i.e., talk about his plane, have him eat at Elaine's every meal, work his custom-made Mercedes into the book, require a client to be hidden at his house in Connecticut, then have his secretary complain a few times that she can't pay their small bills.

No matter where Stone travels, he can't swing a dead cat without hitting an ex-NYPD cop, and he knows every one of them.

Stone's mother was a painter - never let the readers forget it. And she is the only painter whose popularity is absolute - everyone loves her work.

The women Stone meets are single, beautiful, usually large-breasted, and rich. Every one of them wants to have sex with Stone, as soon as possible, and multiple times. Stone is to fall in love with each of them immediately, and decide that she is the one for him. Leave the romance open - she'll dump him at the beginning of the next book.

Research Stone's love life by watching porn videos, paying special attention to the dialogue that the male lead uses to seduce the female lead. Innuendos must be subtle as a train wreck, eg., Woman: "I could use a backrub." Stone: "I'll rub anything you'd like." If it causes the reader to make a face like they just detected an unclaimed fart on an airplane then you're doing it right.

Voila! Follow these simple instructions and you too can write an SB novel!

Light and breezy??? Those words must be euphemisms for sophomoric and trite. I purchased this soft porn novel through Audiobooks and after an afternoon of eye-rolling I deleted it as I was embarrassed to have such material on my iPod. As another reviewer stated, Woods is/was capable of fresh, innovative writing, such as Chiefs and Palindrome. Stuart, you've sunk to an all time low and lost a reader. Kiss me goodbye.

This is a clear attempt to bring Stone's character back to basics. He is back in NY after too many "road trip" adventures. He is in familiar territory with lots of ladies. Woods turns up the sex a notch but nothing too adult oriented. He even brings back an old character or two. Not a bad outing for Woods. Actually, better than most of his later books which, until the last several, seem to be just going through the motions. This is a pretty good read if you are a Woods/Stone Barrington fan.

What a piece of garbage. I finished it yesterday and I'm still wincing. I continue to be embarrassed for Stuart Woods. His "work" over the last 8-10 years makes him appear nuttier than "Dolce." I defy him to write one book, just ONE, where he can recall all of his own characters names, (yes, Stuart, first AND last names) for the entire book. Speaking of Dolce I'm shocked he has kept her name straight for so long. I keep expecting his next book to have me reading about how "Dorothy" was hiding in the shadows with a gun, etc.

Please Mr. Woods, I beg of you, make a genuine effort to write something for us that is interesting, clever, doesn't contain irritatingly written and preposterous sex scenes...and CAREFULLY written (ie: if someone's name is Kerry Smith don't change it to Kerry White halfway though.) Thank you in advance.

The Barringston books keep going down, down, down. Barely any plot here where Stone tries to extricate the young daughter of a prominent New York art dealer, from the clutches of an older faux artiste, drug dealer, con man. Along the way Stone beds many interchangeable women. Their only distinguishing feature is one is a tad bitchier than the next, but they are all ready, willing and able. We can tell Stone is getting older because they seem to be wearing down the poor dear. This is what happens when a competent author churns out three novels a year. You've got plenty of money Stuart. Take a break, rest, slow down the pace and take your time writing the next one.

Lots of sex. lots of Stone... no plot worth the cost of the book.

Woods is now on a three book per year schedule instead of two. It's damn hard to stay creative and interesting and Kisser shows this.

Hope for better. There's a new one out in 4 months - we'll see.

You can do so much better then this. Like the president in the movie "Dave", I think Stuart Woods has had a stroke and is being kept alive by machines while an impersonator is writing for him. Unlike "Dave", this impersonator is NOT better then the real thing. Please stop this, it's embarrassing. Check out the next installment in the Stone Barrington saga that's to be released in April. The price is down from $17.13 to $14.01. That's still too much if it's anything like Kisser! Thanks for "Chiefs" it's still the BEST!