Customer Reviews

Of Knights and Fair Maidens: A Radical New Way to Develop Old-fashioned Relationships

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This book not only gives you the reasons behind courtship, but also advice on how to develop a God-centered relationship, and how to prepare for marriage. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a practical guide for courtship in their life!

A Review of the book Of Knights and Fair Maidens by Jeff and Danielle Myers
Review by "Emily"

I have never encountered any Christian books on relationships that were as simple, practical and fun to read as Of Knights and Fair Maidens. The book is written in a candid question-and-answer format, and the book is a short read of less than 100 pages. Here are some of the book's highlights.


A hilarious beginning. The book draws you in right from the start, while subtly challenging you to examine your expectations about what you are looking for in becoming married some day, and also how the culture has affected what ends up more often occurring. The authors point out that today the attitude of romancing couples is more often than not "I love you so much I want to spend the rest of my week with you", rather than commitment to marriage. The authors encourage for readers to go in the opposite direction. One of the great aspects about this book is that the authors make clear that Of Knights and Fair Maidens is not about making it to the latest Christian bestseller lists by re-hashing the same relationship gumbo that has become popular. Relationship-geared titles sell well, but this book certainly is not a bestseller, and can even be hard to find copies of. Instead, it is about targeting those who want to truly counter the culture, and equipping them with the tools to do so, with a particular focus on Biblical principles versus legalistic methodology.


An inviting Interview. I really enjoyed the interview formatting of this book. The authors laid it out really well, and the questions of the "mystery interviewer" are sometimes humorous, and flow much like the conversation I imagine going on in my head.


Pulls no punches. What options are there other than dating? Of Knights and Fair Maidens covers one option- courtship- and does not attempt to get into the issues regarding any other ways of pursuing marriage, nor does it dwell much on the issues regarding dating vs. courtship- but it does make courtship seem to be a viable solution to the dating epidemic, that many call "a training ground for divorce". The author's intent seems not to pit one method against another, but to give an alternative to what a growing number of Christians disagree with. I really appreciate how simply the authors explained everything regarding courtship. Never have I read anything that was so downright practical. Courtship may be old-fashioned, but it is definitely a good fit for modern times. Also, the authors are familiar both with Joshua Harris's original article Dating Problems, Courtship Solutions which is reprinted in the back of the book, and with John Holzmann's book Integrity Dating, which helps make for a well-rounded viewpoint.


Principle-based structure. Jeff and Danielle Myers use much of the book to discuss principles- three of which are "accountability, character and preparation". The Myers believe that in a courtship, accountability to your parents or surrogate parents is important; that it is necessary to focus on character rather than appearances; and that couples need to prepare for marriage. The book includes the Myer's own love story, which is as amusing and practical as the rest of the book.


Breaking bad habits. One problem that the authors see with many of today's relationships is that couples tend to go it alone. Rather than following this trend, the Myers lay out how to keep you accountable in a relationship by involving parents and others. The authors understand that some people view this as invasive, but they show how rather than being invasive, involving others can be an asset. It also lines up Biblically with giving one's sons and daughters away in marriage (see Jeremiah 29:6 for one reference), and can actually be a supportive atmosphere.


Going without masks. Danielle and Jeff Myers address how to get to know the person you are courting in situations that pull away any `mask' that you might wear, that would hide who you really are. They show how getting to know each other is not about putting your best foot forward, but being put into many different situations that would make it easier to examine the other person's character.


Postpone and prepare. Jeff and Danielle Myers talk about why someone should wait to get married, and also how to prepare for marriage while in a courtship (as well as how someone should be prepared beforehand). The authors also deal with a lot of `what-if's' that someone might have about courtship, such as `What if my parents are divorced?', and `What if my parents are not Christians?'.


Personal thoughts. After researching dating, courtship, betrothal and arranged marriage, this book was a fresh perspective. When I read Christian relationship-geared titles, I look for a couple things: (1) the message needs to be Biblical. I went back and forth with trying to figure out which `method' I would be following in my own life. The books I read tended only to complicate things, and I was looking for something that just made `sense' in a very simple way. This book did just that. It was all about solid Biblical principles. (2) The message has to be practical, and, rather than being a `step-by-step' guide, it must be useable in all different cultures, in all different situations. Also, the message that the book gives must line up with certain scriptural references, such as those referring to parents giving their sons and daughters away in marriage. I see a problem with today's culture that says that young men and women are on their own with their relationships. There has also been a degrading of moral boundaries, and of the whole concept of the community blessing a marriage. Today people are less concerned with pursuing marriage, and often-times it is women who do the pursuing. Of Knights and Fair Maidens is a book that sets out clearly how to maintain a pure approach to marriage, to make and protect boundaries, and to guard the heart. It moves the focus from `looks-attraction' to friendship and character- though the authors point out that there is certainly no absence of emotion and becoming in love by following the guidelines in their book, though love itself is more "an act of the will". One of the great things about this book is that it's not legalistic, but it is also not about `blurry grey areas' like often happens with dating. The book creates no loss of fun, nor is it stuffy- it is, instead a `sweeter song' than the deprivation in our day and age.

*this article was originally published at my mom's homeschool blog*

Timely service and a great product. A must read for parents and teens on dating and relationships.

This book presents a very practical alternative to the world's dating system. Very easy to read. Excellent resource for one seeking a better way for relationships.