Knock Yourself Up is a fascinating, helpful guide to the wide world of single motherhood, as told by the funny and thorough Louise Sloan. I'm 32, and while not yet ready to take the plunge, I wanted to learn more about what might potentially be in my future. There are a lot of issues Sloan disucsses that I'd never considered, such as donor complications, talking to your child about where they came from, and the actual ins and outs of getting pregnant via artificial insemination (the image of the nitrogen tank will certainly stay with me!), and information about things like the Sibling Donor Registry, by which siblings of a given sperm donor can find each other.
To her credit, Sloan shares plenty of her story about being a single lesbian, fresh from a breakup, going through the insemination process solo in order to have her son, Scott, both the highs (taking her son to swing dance class!) and lows (dealing with hemorraghing at the hospital alone, for one). But having the perspectives of so many other women, including their horror and success stories, is what makes this book so valuable. The interviewees talk about everything from the intersection of race, stereotypes, and single parenthood, to how they're perceived by potential dates, neighbors, and peers, the positives of being on their own as well as the loneliness and pitfalls.
The title may be pithy and punchy, but the stories and issues included in Knock Yourself Up let women know that becoming a single mom is doable, but isn't a piece of cake by any means. In some ways, Sloan is a cheerleader for single motherhood, encouraging other women who think they can and want to do it to go for it, but she also very carefully lays out the costs, risks, and cons right along with the pros. From sex and dating as a pregnant woman and single mom, to dealing with well-meaning but often out-to-lunch family members and friends, as well as birthing options and more, this book offers plenty of food for thought for potential moms, especially what to look out for when it comes to choosing a donor, having a support system, and health concerns.
The fact that Sloan found so many of her interviewees via the group Single Mothers by Choice, and the camaraderie many of the women talk about sharing with that group, is comforting. I found the fact that Sex and the City got mentioned multiple times here a bit strange, though perhaps it's simply now a code for living a relatively posh, single city girl lifestyle, as contrasted with one's life as a single mom. Various kinds of single motherhood (from one child to multiple) are put forth here, along with an excellent resource guide for more information. This is an excellent book which I plan to consult again if and when the time comes that I decide to become a single mom.
